First Observations...

We've now been home for just over 3 days and we're starting to settle into routines. Beth and Luke go to school and Kim and Peter have "schkola" in the morning. We are home schooling the adopted kids at least until they have passable English language proficiency. I'm still on vacation this week, although I did go into the office anyway yesterday for the afternoon to attend an important meeting and to put out a few fires.

A few observations so far. DISCLAIMER: I will not acknowledge any of these observations in a few weeks or months when it becomes clear that I am completely wrong and must have been an idiot to think any of this...

... Kim and Peter love their new home and all of its treasures. They think their bedrooms are awesome... but they both want a light left on at bedtime. Neither had any problems with the dark during our time in Russia... but then again, they were sharing beds with others and may have found comfort in this. Their cool new bedrooms are still a little foreign and scary at night.

... Bandit and Peter are becoming fast friends. In the morning when I get up to wake Luke for school, Bandit wants out of our bedroom. He immediately pushes Peter's door open and jumps on the bed and starts licking his face. Peter giggles and yells at him in Russian. Bandit (sometimes called Banchick or Bandeek) doesn't know Russian... so he just keeps on licking until I rescue poor Peter.

... Kim is going to be Queen of the Neighborhood kids in no time. She likes to direct them already... even though they don't know any Russian, she seems to communicate her wishes to them fairly easily.

... Both Kim and Peter have a lot of socialization to learn. In this regard, they often function like toddlers. The things that we normally teach our kids at age 3 or 4 about how to treat others and how to react in social situations are completely foreign to them. They do not handle introductions to new people very well at all. They look stern, act pouty and what we would consider to be disrespectful. They turn away, won't speak, and resist all attempts to get them to say hello. They do warm up in a few minutes once you become familiar, but until then don't be offended. They are still overwhelmed in such situations. We've been debating about whether and how much to venture out during the holidays to see friends and family. My folks have a big family gathering next weekend and we've also been invited to join some friends for a trip to Roscoe Village for some of the festivities. There is also Kim's birthday coming up on Saturday. All of these pose socialization challenges that we aren't sure how to handle yet. I'm not sure the kids are quite ready for functioning with others yet... we'll see how it goes.

... the kids seem to have this notion that once you are in America all you have to do is play games and enjoy toys all day. It's been a bit of an eye-opener for them that we expect to have school time, "help Mom and Dad with house duties" time, and then have playtime.

... We're starting to figure out roughly where the kids schooling has left off for Math. Kim is fine with addition and subtraction of single digits, not sure yet about multiple digits. She has some basic notions about multiplication, but is not yet proficient in it. Peter on the other hand had just started school this fall in Russia (at age 8). He is not able to do single digit addition unless you have pictures showing how many things are there so he can count them all. In terms of language, Kim is able to retain the vocabulary we are working on with her, but she is hesitant to use very many English words in conversation yet. Peter can point out things when we say the Engish word, but he can't yet come up with the English word when we point to things. We also wonder about his hearing a little bit. He wants everything very loud and seems to struggle to hear the sounds in English words (hence it's Bandeek instead of Bandit). We have their medical exams on Friday so we'll know more then.

... Both Kim and Peter are small, but Peter moreso than his sister. Luke (age 9) wears size 12 (but he's always been a big kid). Peter is just over 6 months younger and wears size 6. Size 6 slim pants fit him in length, but are about 4 inches too wide in the waist. It's interesting to see Luke and Peter side by side.

... Beth and Luke are trying to get back into the swing of things at school. Beth had a choir concert last night and did a great job despite missing the past three weeks of practice. She also a little slower and less accurate with playing her clarinet. Luke is loving the fact that he can go back to school... especially to Math class...he loves Math.

... Kim and Peter seem to have more struggles with Lisa and than with me... especially Kim. We all have our share of communication and culture frustrations, but Kim gets much more defiant with Lisa. When she's "testing", she won't even let Lisa finish saying her name before she pulls out the trusty "Nee Pahneemahyoo" (I don't understand... said with a lot of attitude to heighten the full effect). We have a couple of battles per day... nothing excessive mind you, but enough to be frustrating. We are using the translator on the computer, but that only works when Kim is willing to meet us half-way... there are times when she is not. I don't know if her battles with Lisa are a function of Lisa having less Russian language proficiency than I do (not that I have much) or it's more likely that she sees herself in competition with Lisa for serving in the mother role for Peter.

... part of Peter's delays are explained by (or are at least magnified by) Kim's attempts to do everything for him. Her motivations are good... except when she pushes him aside because there is something fun or desirable and she wants it (like the computer). Anytime there is anything that is not very easy, she tries to intervein for him. She tells us (and him) that he's too small, or that it's too hard for him. I think this has become a self-fulfilling prophecy in that he quickly gives up. We have to work very hard to keep her out of the way and to show him that he CAN do things for himself. He is not going to progress and grow until he believes that this is true.

... Overall things are pretty good and the kids are doing well, these are just the common hurdles that adoptive kids face and that frustrate adoptive parents. At least we have not seen any signs of reactive attachment disorder (Thank Goodness), nor have we had any stealing or hording. Mostly we are progressing just fine... especially for just being together for just over a week. Hopefully next week we'll even see some progress on these... and discover lots more things to work on.