Post-adoption Medical Examinations - The Bad, the Worse, and the "We can live with that"

When you adopt in Russia, you are supposed to be given the child's medical records, their "diagnosis" and you actually sign paperwork in Russia on your first trip that says you have been given these things, that you understand them completely, and that you agree to pursue the adoption anyway. On your second trip, the judge asks you about the medical records and diagnosis and asks if you understand them and if you are prepared to deal with the medical conditions. You had better say "Yes" if you want to be given custody. Our local adoption clinic does "pre-adoption visits" where they will go through these records with you and explain them from the view of Western Medicine (which is VERY different from the view of Russian medicine).

We had one problem... we NEVER received ANY of the medical records of our kids until AFTER the second and final day of court. On our first trip, the orphanage director called the doctor into her office and she explained (or at least our translator told us) that the kids were healthy, that they had physicals on such and such a date, and that they had cognitive and social delays that are typical of orphanage kids. We received this verbal explanation and the chance to ask questions, but we received NO ACTUAL PAPERWORK about their medical history (even though russian law requires it.).

On the second trip to Russia, we again met with the director and the doctor before court. Again we heard about recent physicals, about cognitive and social delays (but the director told us how smart Kim was and that she was no longer delayed and had "perfect memory"). This time we were given more specific diagnoses... "cerebral asthenic syndrome" for Kim. They also explained that Peter has a "problem" with his mitral valve in his heart, but that it is common for children and not an issue. This was the first time we had heard of this one. Had I known of this, I would have brought my stethescope and listened to the murmur myself. They told us nothing else.

AFTER the adoption was final and we had the kids, we received their paperwork to take to the doctor in Moscow who would do the physicals for their immigration visas. I read through the translations and learned a few "interesting" things that were NEVER discussed with us. They had orthopedic concerns about Peter's knees. He is VERY knock-kneed (genu valgum for my students who are reading this)... I wonder if he might have had rickets given his tooth issues and the knee deformity. The kids tell us that they never had milk in the orphanage. We also learned that both Kim and Peter's previous TWO Mantoux tests were 15 and 12 mm respectively. I recognized this one immediately. The Mantoux test (aka PPD or tuberculin test) is the skin test for Tuberculosis and readings of the size that the kids had means that the tests were positive. This was NEVER mentioned to us at any time before the adoption. Oh crap. Now what? Were they even going to be able to enter the United States? They had chest X-rays at the Moscow medical exam and were cleared to enter the U.S. I have these X-rays and they both look pretty much fine. Unlike X-rays in the U.S., the patients' names are written on the printed X-ray with a Sharpie instead of included in a label in the X-ray itself. If you wanted to, you could take an old X-ray image, print it, and write someone else's name on it. We were not able to accompany the kids for the X-ray and I'm not entirely positive that the X-rays I have are actually of my kids. I'll just say that they are certainly not as clear as the X-ray we had at the adoption clinic in the U.S. We absolutely feel that we have been done a major injustice by not giving us medicals or disclosing their contents. I don't know that our decision to adopt would have changed, but we would have been in a position to do some research and to be prepared... just as the court required us to be.

In the U.S. our local children's hospital runs an international adoption clinic. We had our appointment pre-scheduled for less than a week after we returned. It is a two step process. Day 1 (Friday) the kids have a physical exam, a developmental exam, and we spoke to a nutritionist. The kids had blood drawn for a battery of tests (vaccination immunity, common genetic diseases), given stool sample jars, and the kids were given (another) skin TB test. The nurse did not do a very good job of explaining WHY the kids needed this when we already had positive tests on them in Russia. All she could explain was that we can't trust the Russian tests. This was hard for us, but not too hard (emotionally) for the kids. They are used to suffering through this test and it was almost as if it was no big deal to them. (and what is one more set of scares?)

Over the weekend, the kids had VERY POSITIVE result to this test. At one point, Kim's little arm had swelling from the test that was wider than her arm had been before. Both kids' swollen red, itchy patches from the test blistered... not just swollen, red and hard... they actually blistered... a lot. They both said it did not hurt (they are very Russian), but it did itch. This was nothing new to them, but it was REALLY hard on us, particularly on Lisa who felt like she allowed someone to hurt her kids for no good reason.

On Monday, we had the second part of the clinic process... this time at the hospital in downtown Columbus. The kids' arms were looked at to read the TB test (both were clearly positive for TB... Although that long after the test they didn't look bad at all, compared to the previous two days.) We had brief hearing tests, and we spoke to a developmental psychologist about the kids transition so far. Because both kids had positive skin tests for TB, they both had to have chest X-rays.

The physician did a much better job of explaining why the kids had to have the skin test despite their history of a previous positive. We weren't crazy about the explanation, but at least we understood a little better. In Russia, they often give kids an immunization (BCG) for tuberculosis to try to prevent it (TB is rampant in Russia). This immunization DOES NOT actually prevent TB infection, but it seems to limit the spread of the disease in your body once you have been infected. Once you have this immunization, your TB test will always produce a positive swollen spot. They had to re-do the test to 1) know what strength of TB test is done to make sure it was correct and 2) read the size of the spot to know if it is really TB or just the reaction to the previous immunization. Both kids were positive for TB. The X-rays showed Kim to have no active infection. Peter's X-ray showed a couple spots that were not clear enough to rule out active infection... so he had to have a chest CT (CAT Scan)... and he had to wear a mask in the hospital until he was cleared. The mask absolutely terrified him and we had his biggest meltdown ever.

The CT was scheduled for later in the afternoon, so we were able to take the kids out of the hospital and bring them back. We had lunch and then Kim stayed home with Beth and Luke while Lisa and I took Peter back for the CT. Peter decided that he could wear his mask if Dad wore one too. So, with us both donning our masks, we went to radiology, where we had to stay in the special isolation waiting room (they have to buzz you into the room). We had the CT and were able to have a head CT also (it was to look for anything that might explain Peter's small size and was already scheduled for another week away anway... killed two birds with one stone). Peter's CT was fine... no active TB. Because both kids have had previous exposure / infection, both Kim and Peter will have to take a daily antibiotic for the next 9 months... no fun. They are not contagious and are not at any risk, but the treatment will reduce their risk for a future recurrance of TB (happens in up to 10% of folks who have been previously infected).

As I am writing this, the phone just rang.... it was the health department... you remember the "Ya Hachoo Kaka" post?... the samples were positive for Giardia. Looks like maybe another antiobiotic for a few days. They wanted to follow up to find out where our kids came up with this... the fact that it was an adoption solved their concerns. I wonder what the blood tests will have to say when they come back...

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone. You should have seen the kids faces for their first American Christmas. Even seeing that Santa was over Greenland (Norad Santa Tracker) on Christmas Eve sent them scurrying to get to bed so he could come. It was all pretty wonderful.

Ya hachoo kaka!

Do you remember, back when you were a kid, when you thought "I'll never say that when I'm the parent"? You probably had in mind something like "Because I said so" or "Because I'm the Dad, that's why". I had a few of those in mind, but this weekend I came across a phrase that I never imagined that I would say. "Ya hachoo kaka!" I spent much of the weekend saying it, saying it in funny cartoon voices, singing it, singing and dancing it, etc... all to roaring laughter from everyone in my family. You see, "Ya hachoo kaka!" translates as "I want poop!". How very dignified of the tenured college associate professor in me. My students would be proud.

At Kim and Peter's preliminary visit at the International Adoption Clinic on Friday we were given four little bottles for each of them for stool samples to check for intestinal parasites, etc that we were to bring to our next appointment on Monday. We were to collect two stool samples from each child and put some into two bottles for each sample. We were given little trays to catch the "precious material" and the lids of the bottles have built in little spoons to... well... you get the idea. The nurse explained what we were to do and the translator told the kids. Boy did their eyes get BIG at that one. The nurse commented that don't be surprized if they try to hold it in all weekend now that they know you have to collect it.

So, we went home and I asked if they needed to use the bathroom and I held up one of the little trays. I received, in unison, a scared little "Nee Hachoo" (I don't want to). So we waited. I asked again later... again a very small "Nee Hachoo". OK... this isn't going to be all that easy. To break the seriousness and fear, I spent the rest of the weekend asking in VERY humorous and animated ways so that they laughed instead of panicked. Who needs dignity?... I needed poop. They really laughed at my chardes attempt at explaining that they didn't want the doctor to have to take it out of them. Eventually, my efforts paid off (I can't believe that I'm actually proud of this). It took a couple rounds of "back on the toilet" to get an adequate volume for Peter's first sample, but we succeeded. I've never seen a kid so proud and so paralyzed with laughter at poop. Good boy! After we dropped the samples off on Monday, Kim asked if I wanted any more poop. We both giggled and I told her "maybe later but not today".

Happy 10th Birthday...again!

We've been a little behind in putting up a few posts, so bear with us. Saturday was Kim's 10th birthday... again.

As we mentioned in a previous post, she was 10 when we arrived in Russia for court and we thought her birthday was in May. The morning of our first court hearing they had located her birthrecord and her birthday was not in May, it was December 20th. She was officially 9 again.

So... we had her first American birthday only 1 week after arriving home. We were planning on having more time (and more English) before birthdays. Only having a week and having very limited language and socialization made it clear that we were not yet ready for the big, invite all neighborhood kids, party.
We had a small, family only celebration instead... then we took the kids to Chuck-E-Cheese's... talk about insanity... it's crazy enough when you speak the same language. The kids all had a great time and played forever. The Russian kids are not very used to making choices, so at first, Kim could not decide which games to play. She used maybe 3 tokens in the first 25 - 30 minutes. After that, she settled in and was on pace with her American siblings before long. Note: If you are going to Chuck-E-Cheese's, sign-up for their mailing list. The coupons are TWICE as good as you will find in the newspaper or online.

The "big" gift that she wanted was an MP3 player. These were a VERY BIG status symbol in the orphanage. The kids who had them mostly had old cell phones (no phone service) that doubled as players. We bought Kim an inexpensive player (not ready to invest in an iPod for her quite yet). She spent several days listening to the sample music on it and to the radio before she realized that I could download songs to it. She hasn't learned how yet, so I get to choose her music options... if only that could last. The kids watched A LOT of music videos in Russia and they have both been known to burst out singing things like Brittney Spears "Womanizer"... not exactly what we approve of as music for elementary school children. Kim enjoyed her cake. She wanted Lisa to make one instead of buying one. We put those "self re-lighting" candles on it and the gag was a huge success.

Cedar Point Needs a Ride Called "Newly Adopted Kids"

I always thought that I loved rollercoasters. I loved them as a kid. They are pretty much the only ride I'm willing to stand in line for at the amusement park. We even like playing "Rollercoaster Tycoon" on the computer. After the rollercoaster highs, lows, and quick blind-turns of the first week of having the kids home, I now have a different appreciation for rollercoasters.

Today marks one week at home and it is Kim's 10th birthday. This week has seen a lot of very good moments and a few that have been, well, less than very good. On Thursday night we were ready to pull our hair out in frustration with two kids who seemingly had no interest in communicating, no interest in respecting others, and absolutely no interest in helping with even the most miniscule tasks that we would ask of them. They were beligerent, disrespectful, stubborn, and impossible. After Lisa put them to bed even before Luke and I got home from Upward Basketball, she and I sat down and wrote them a letter (using a free online translator... it takes a while at 500 characters per translation). We explained that we were being unfair to Beth and Luke by having a double standard for what we are willing to accept in terms of behavior. It was unfair that we sit and watch Luke trying to communicate with the new kids in his very rudimentary broken Russian but they never seem to try to communicate with any of us using the few English words that they have learned. We were pretty much ready to cancel Kim's birthday and withdraw as many priveledges as it would take to get them to start moving in the right direction. We were going to give the letter to Kim after we returned from the doctor on Friday. We felt at our wit's end... then there was Friday.

On Friday, Kim and Peter had their appointment at the international adoption clinic through Nationwide Childrens' Hospital in Columbus. It was held at their Westerville "Close to Home" location on Cleveland Avenue. We had a Russian translator provided by the clinic. The kids were examined by a physician who is very familiar with the medical issues of internationally adopted kids. We spoke to a nutritionist who gave suggestions for the kids who are both pretty small. We had some time with a physical therapist who did a developmental assessment to let us know if and where the kids were behind. The kids also had to have new TB tests (even though we know their test results from the autumn in Russia) and blood tests. The kids were really good about the TB tests (which are kind of painful and burn a lot when you are getting them)... no tears. They were scared about the blood tests, but then realized that they hurt less than the TB test and we were fine. The kids think that it is hillarious that we were given trays to take home to catch their poop and little bottles to put it in for more tests.

The kids absolutely could not have been much better for their medical exams and Peter was not even shy or withdrawn at meeting new people... we were shocked. Afterward, we stopped by the library to pick up 4 of the 48 Columbus Metropolitan Library's book that are in Russian. We were ready for an all out battle after Lisa's previous experience. Instead, they were eager and cooperative. They even volunteered to carry books that were for someone else. Again, we were shocked. We had to stop for gas ($1.48 per gallon, woohoo!) and they would have to sit patiently in the car. They don't do patient very well... but they were happy and we had no problems. We had to stop by the grocery store for more milk. We have had a battle EVERY time we have gone to a grocery store because they want toys and candy and have thrown a fit. No battles this time. They accepted our gentle "no toys" or "we have that at home" without ANY resistance. Again... shocked. We were so pleased, we even went to McDonalds for lunch with them. It's the first time since we had custody to have no issues at a restaurant. At home, they eagerly jumped into their schoolwork and we learned that Kim was excited to have books to read. They actually helped, A LOT, with finishing up the Christmas decorations. Peter was very proud to help me with the lights. Afterward, we introduced them to playing Wii. Peter loves Wii boxing (I wonder if it's the first time he's ever fought without getting the crap kicked out of him... he has lots of scars and old bruises). The boys rooted for the boys and the girls for the girls. It was great. We absolutely could not have had a better day with them. We never showed Kim or Peter the letter. Welcome to the Rollercoaster.

First Observations...

We've now been home for just over 3 days and we're starting to settle into routines. Beth and Luke go to school and Kim and Peter have "schkola" in the morning. We are home schooling the adopted kids at least until they have passable English language proficiency. I'm still on vacation this week, although I did go into the office anyway yesterday for the afternoon to attend an important meeting and to put out a few fires.

A few observations so far. DISCLAIMER: I will not acknowledge any of these observations in a few weeks or months when it becomes clear that I am completely wrong and must have been an idiot to think any of this...

... Kim and Peter love their new home and all of its treasures. They think their bedrooms are awesome... but they both want a light left on at bedtime. Neither had any problems with the dark during our time in Russia... but then again, they were sharing beds with others and may have found comfort in this. Their cool new bedrooms are still a little foreign and scary at night.

... Bandit and Peter are becoming fast friends. In the morning when I get up to wake Luke for school, Bandit wants out of our bedroom. He immediately pushes Peter's door open and jumps on the bed and starts licking his face. Peter giggles and yells at him in Russian. Bandit (sometimes called Banchick or Bandeek) doesn't know Russian... so he just keeps on licking until I rescue poor Peter.

... Kim is going to be Queen of the Neighborhood kids in no time. She likes to direct them already... even though they don't know any Russian, she seems to communicate her wishes to them fairly easily.

... Both Kim and Peter have a lot of socialization to learn. In this regard, they often function like toddlers. The things that we normally teach our kids at age 3 or 4 about how to treat others and how to react in social situations are completely foreign to them. They do not handle introductions to new people very well at all. They look stern, act pouty and what we would consider to be disrespectful. They turn away, won't speak, and resist all attempts to get them to say hello. They do warm up in a few minutes once you become familiar, but until then don't be offended. They are still overwhelmed in such situations. We've been debating about whether and how much to venture out during the holidays to see friends and family. My folks have a big family gathering next weekend and we've also been invited to join some friends for a trip to Roscoe Village for some of the festivities. There is also Kim's birthday coming up on Saturday. All of these pose socialization challenges that we aren't sure how to handle yet. I'm not sure the kids are quite ready for functioning with others yet... we'll see how it goes.

... the kids seem to have this notion that once you are in America all you have to do is play games and enjoy toys all day. It's been a bit of an eye-opener for them that we expect to have school time, "help Mom and Dad with house duties" time, and then have playtime.

... We're starting to figure out roughly where the kids schooling has left off for Math. Kim is fine with addition and subtraction of single digits, not sure yet about multiple digits. She has some basic notions about multiplication, but is not yet proficient in it. Peter on the other hand had just started school this fall in Russia (at age 8). He is not able to do single digit addition unless you have pictures showing how many things are there so he can count them all. In terms of language, Kim is able to retain the vocabulary we are working on with her, but she is hesitant to use very many English words in conversation yet. Peter can point out things when we say the Engish word, but he can't yet come up with the English word when we point to things. We also wonder about his hearing a little bit. He wants everything very loud and seems to struggle to hear the sounds in English words (hence it's Bandeek instead of Bandit). We have their medical exams on Friday so we'll know more then.

... Both Kim and Peter are small, but Peter moreso than his sister. Luke (age 9) wears size 12 (but he's always been a big kid). Peter is just over 6 months younger and wears size 6. Size 6 slim pants fit him in length, but are about 4 inches too wide in the waist. It's interesting to see Luke and Peter side by side.

... Beth and Luke are trying to get back into the swing of things at school. Beth had a choir concert last night and did a great job despite missing the past three weeks of practice. She also a little slower and less accurate with playing her clarinet. Luke is loving the fact that he can go back to school... especially to Math class...he loves Math.

... Kim and Peter seem to have more struggles with Lisa and than with me... especially Kim. We all have our share of communication and culture frustrations, but Kim gets much more defiant with Lisa. When she's "testing", she won't even let Lisa finish saying her name before she pulls out the trusty "Nee Pahneemahyoo" (I don't understand... said with a lot of attitude to heighten the full effect). We have a couple of battles per day... nothing excessive mind you, but enough to be frustrating. We are using the translator on the computer, but that only works when Kim is willing to meet us half-way... there are times when she is not. I don't know if her battles with Lisa are a function of Lisa having less Russian language proficiency than I do (not that I have much) or it's more likely that she sees herself in competition with Lisa for serving in the mother role for Peter.

... part of Peter's delays are explained by (or are at least magnified by) Kim's attempts to do everything for him. Her motivations are good... except when she pushes him aside because there is something fun or desirable and she wants it (like the computer). Anytime there is anything that is not very easy, she tries to intervein for him. She tells us (and him) that he's too small, or that it's too hard for him. I think this has become a self-fulfilling prophecy in that he quickly gives up. We have to work very hard to keep her out of the way and to show him that he CAN do things for himself. He is not going to progress and grow until he believes that this is true.

... Overall things are pretty good and the kids are doing well, these are just the common hurdles that adoptive kids face and that frustrate adoptive parents. At least we have not seen any signs of reactive attachment disorder (Thank Goodness), nor have we had any stealing or hording. Mostly we are progressing just fine... especially for just being together for just over a week. Hopefully next week we'll even see some progress on these... and discover lots more things to work on.

Home Again, Home Again

We thoroughly enjoyed taking yesterday off from blogging and off from everything else too!

We arrived back in Columbus around 8:30pm on Saturday night... exhausted. Our trip from Moscow included a 12 hour flight to Atlanta where we had a 2 hour layover before our flight to Columbus. I spent half of the Moscow - Atlanta flight with my pants soaking wet after Peter accidentally dumped his Koka-Kola in my lap... oh well, I guess I'll have plenty of time to dry out now. In Atlanta, we needed every second of the layover. Once we made it through passport control (using the US citizens line), we had to claim our luggage and go through immigration and customs. The flight back from Moscow might as well be called the adoption shuttle because there are always so many newly adopted children on it. We spent time speaking with quite a few families while waiting to board. Mostly people are adopting young toddlers, but there were a few families with older children like ourselves. There were probably 25 adoptive families on that plane, maybe more. With so many children to process through immigration, it is not the fastest of processes. We BARELY made it through in time for our connecting flight. We had to take the tram in the Atlanta airport from terminal E to terminal B and then run for it. Of course you could guess that our gate was literally the last gate. Picture us trying to run through the airport with four kids... two of whom don't speak English. Lisa had Peter and I had Kim. I'm not entirely sure that Peter's feet actually hit the ground in terminal B. He mostly flew behind Lisa like a kite. The agent at the gate knew who we were as we sprinted up, out of breath, to ask if we made it. He asked how we had liked Russia and that they were holding the plane for us guessing that we were delayed in immigration. Once on the plane, the stewardesses brought out bottles of water for us as we were still breathing pretty hard at that point.

The kids were asleep almost before we were off the runway. It was less than 90 minutes and we were on the ground in Columbus. At the baggage claim, we were warmly greeted by our dear friends the Canary's who had made a banner (in Russian) welcoming Kim and Peter. They brought our van to the airport for us as well and, God bless them, they had stocked our kitchen so we wouldn't have to go out right away. We were also greeted by another family from our church who have adopted three children from Ethiopia and have a really great blog about their experience. It was really great to see everyone and have such a nice welcoming, but you can see in the photo that Kim and Peter were pretty tired, scared, and overwhelmed. They warmed up pretty quickly however and were smiling and laughing in no time.

When we got home, the kids were in awe. They have seen many photos of the house and they knew that they each had their own bedrooms. The immediately had to run to their room and examine everything about them. After that, they had to tour the rest of the house. It was a lifetime of Christmas mornings all happening at one time. It was a little bit tough to get them to go to bed after a quick dinner of Soup (Thanks Sheri). They were back up at 3:00am turning on lights and trying to get the other kids up to play. It will take a few days to get their internal clocks adjusted.

Sunday was quiet. Grandma and Grandpa came down from Akron and brought our dog, Bandit, back home. It was cute that Peter spent most of the day calling him "Banchick". Kim also rode her bike. She was so excited about having a bike that was her own. She rides better than I would have guessed. Today, Beth and Luke went back to school and Peter and Kim started homeschooling with Lisa to learn English. We also took them to the grocery store... a little overwhelming, but kind of fun for them too. I installed a Russian/English keyboard on our computer and set up the Russian language support in Windows so Kim can type into the online translator. It is a big help... but we are limited by her ability to spell in Russian... this is a real limitation for a 9 year old. Once the neighborhood kids came home from school, Kim had to go ride her bike with them. Welcome to our new normal.

We are Home more to Follow

On Our Way Home

By the time you read this post, we will already be on our way home. We are so looking forward to seeing everyone again... after a few hours of sleep anyway.

We'd like to take a minute to congratulate Lisa's brother Don who is graduating today with his Masters in Engineering from the University of Alabama. We really wish we could be there to celebrate with you today, but, well... you understand. We think you'll be very pleased with a little item we picked up in Moscow for you to celebrate this day :-)

See everybody soon..........

Packing up and getting ready...

Today was our last full day in Moscow. We had absolutely nothing on the schedule and that was nice. We slept in a little, had a leisurely breakfast (after Papa returned from the supermarket... we were out of milk for our cereal), and played in the apartment all morning. We've learned that we have to ration the computer because, heaven forbid, someone might have 2 minutes more computer time than someone else. This morining, it was almost exclusively Beth's as she worked on more homework. The other kids were jealous of her computer monopoly, but not too jealous.

For lunch, we walked to a pizza kafe that has 50% off pizzas between 10:00 and 3:00 on weekdays. We had two pizzas, 3 garlic breads, and 6 soft drinks. The bill came to about $40... and that was with the discount. Praise God for our kitchen... it has greatly lightened our food bill in Moscow. I can't imagine how much more we'd be spending if we didn't have it. We are probably saving half on food by eating in the apartment. If you are considering whether to get an apartment or a hotel, I think we are VERY pleased that we went with the apartment. It was a lot cheaper, has a lot more space, is close enough to the embassy, Old Arbat, and Red Square that we can walk, and has let us start acting like a family and less like tourists. I would recommend an apartment on the western part of the central city (in the Old Arbat, New Arbat, or Embassy area) for the ease of getting around. Red Square was a 20 minute walk, the embassy was a 5 minute walk, Old Arbat was an 8 minute walk. In other areas, you will have to take the Metro or have a driver to go to most of the places that you will want to go.

Tonight, we had dinner in the apartment (a rice dish that the kids were familiar with and very fond of). We then started the great packing adventure. Everyone had to pack their own trinkets and souveneirs and help gather everything else. The kids all know that tomorrow is the big day and it clearly shows in their anxiety level. They can't sit still and can't seem to get out of each others way. Nerves. We just put them to bed so Lisa and I can finish the SERIOUS packing. Peter, who normally is out immediately, had his slowest falling-asleep session to date (In fact I thought he was out and he is back awake). His eyes were the size of dinner plates tonight. I wonder how much sleep they will get. I'll put the over/under at 3 hours.

Tomorrow will be a long day. We don't yet have the time the driver will pick us up... but were getting used to not knowing until the last minute. We're guessing it will be between 9:00 and 10:00 in the morning. Our flight leaves at 1:10 pm for Atlanta (on Delta). We get into Atlanta at 5:05 (almost 12 hours in the air). In Atlanta we have a two hour layover where we have to go through Immigration and Customs... it will be a little tight on time we think. We leave around 7:05 and get to Columbus around 8:35pm. All told, it will probably be 17 - 19 hours between leaving the apartment and arriving in Columbus. It will be 4:35am to us when we land at home, so the kids are going to be tired, scared, and cranky... hopefully less so if we can get them to sleep on the flight. Lisa was able to stop by a pharmacy and find some dramamine (actually, it's "Drahmeena" in Russian. I guess that it was quite an interesting game of charades with Lisa trying to order it at the counter in an all-russian pharmacy with no English on the labels or in the workers. I would have paid good money to see that.

It's time for us to close this chapter on our adoption and open the next one... the one we we all learn to be a family together.

Day 20 - The Final Checkmark and the Tseerk

There was not a lot on the schedule today, but the few items were good. We hung a few pictures that were colored by the kids on our refrigerator to make the place more like home. We walked back down to Old Arbat street and nearly finished our shopping for our sourvenir list. It was colder than the kids would have liked and sometimes we aren't exactly quick to make choices, so I can't imagine that the shopping was much fun for the kids. We did find a very nice matryoska doll maker/seller who looked like Santa Claus. He gave us the best prices we've seen all week.

In the afternoon, our Moscow representative called. She had gone by the Russian consolate for our papers and was ready to deliver them to us. There was no need for me to go today, she just had to pick up the papers... nothing that requires a parent. She will forward nearly all of the registration paperwork to the appropriate folks. As she put it, it would be silly for us to carry it home just to mail it back to Russia. The part that we do get to keep is the kids Russian passports... complete with stamps indicating that they are registered and free to leave the country. The final checkmark on our list is now complete. I wish we were flying home tomorrow... but that is not to be.

This evening we went to the Moscow Circus (Tseerk) with our part-time guide, Vladimir (the son of our driver). He took us there via the Metro. We had used a couple Metro stations to cross the streets (tunnels under the 8 - 12 lane wide streets), but this is the first time we went into the deep section to ride the subway train. The Metro is actually quite deep and the escalator taking you down seems to go on forever. At 5:20pm, it is also completely crowded with people... we had to keep tight grips on the kids to prevent us from getting jostled away from them in the crowd. The Metro is really lovely and it is about the only thing left in Moscow that is not covered in graffitti. It was a short ride to the Circus and we had to wait outside for 15 or 20 minutes until they opened the doors. Before we left for the circus, Kim had asked (via the computer) if Papa could buy them a toy and some popcorn at the circus. She chose a pair of "spy" sunglasses that let you look behind yourself, Beth chose a flying dove toy that you attatch to the ceiling and it flies in a circle. Luke made a similar choice... except his is a dragonfly. Peter chose a fake pack of gum that shocks you when you try to take out a piece... how fun :-/ It was broken before the night was done, not a good investment. The circus was VERY GOOD and I would recommend it highly. It cost us 600 rubles each ($21 each) and I think it was worth it. Each of the kids liked a different act the best. They also liked having their picture taken with a tiger cub in the lobby. We got back to the apartment around 9:45 pm and put the kids to bed. Peter goes out extremely quickly. He can lay down and be out cold in 2 minutes or less... amazing. Kim and Beth like to giggle and teach each other new English or Russian words for 15 - 30 minutes. Luke usually goes out quickly... but not as quickly as Peter. I'm going to finish up this post and go to bed myself. Only one more night after this one. We'll leave you with some photos of the Moscow nightime skyline from our apartment windows... the view is quite nice.

An Evening in

Four kids, three room apartment, freezing outside, days of rain so everything is MUDDY, the 172 piece Lego set (minus a handfull of lost pieces)losing its luster, and not wanting to restart the same movies again. How do keep the group busy? How about a good old fashion game of Hide and Seek.

Peter makes the game a bit more challenging. He can curl himself up and fit where you would never think to look for a person (like inside the cabinets).














PS The game is breaking up, all the realy good spots have been used. Any other cool ideas?

Visiting St. Basil's Cathedral and GUM

This morning I went to the Russian Consolate to register the children. Lisa stayed in the apartment with the kids where she washed dishes and hand-washed more clothes. Suggestion to future adoptive families... bring clothes that are easy to wring out, will dry quickly, and don't have to be dried flat. We, on the other hand, brought lots of sweaters which are not good for any of these goals... but they are warm. Today it was a little colder (0 degrees C), but there was a strong wind and if felt much colder.

At the Russian consolate, our translator helped me prepare the papers and drop them off along with the kids Russian passports with US Visas. We will have them back tomorrow afternoon. At that point, we will officially be able to leave Russia... but our agency had us schedule an extra day in Moscow. We won't be leaving until Saturday.

We walked back over to Red Square this afternoon and arrived just in time for the hourly changing of the guard at their eternal flame monument. We went to red square to accomplish three goals. 1) Lunch at McDonalds. 2) Visit ΓΥΜ (Goom) and 3) tour the inside of St. Basil's Cathedral. McDonalds was a very good facsimilie of its American counterpart... the only real difference was that 4 happy meals and 2 Big Mac combo meals cost us over $30. Finding seats is also a challenge. When was the last time you shared a booth at McDonald's with 4 other parties throughout the course of your lunch? The kids were excited about McDonalds, but it was a bit of a struggle with them there as it has been at all restaurants. They just don't understand how it all works and they were very frustrated trying to make a choice of which meal they wanted. This whole "choices" thing is tough for them and making good choices is even harder. Goom takes up one entire side of red square (it's actually a rectangle and Goom is on one of the long sides). It is basically a mall. At one point I think it was one of the largest in the world... now it is basically a larger then most mall full of high-end designer label shops. It was beautifully decorated as the photos attest. The kids did not know what Goom was and didn't want to go there, but they had a nice time walking around inside. Kim went nuts with the camera in there.

St. Basils Cathedral is really impressive on the outside and we were eager to see the inside. Beth often comments that it looks like a toy on the outside. Inside, you can tour the first and second floors. Each of the onion domes houses a separate "church" dedicated to a different region of Russia. They have some impressive artwork there. Tickets were 100 rubles ($4) for adults and 50 rubles ($2) for kids. For a small fee (about $5) you can use your video camera. We videoed everything and I'm looking forward to watching it again AT HOME. Kim took lots more photos in St. Basil's.

Embassy Day

Today we spent a quiet morning in the apartment for the most part. Breakfast was yogurt, fruit, and cereal. The kids had a lot of fun helping to make it.
Luke and I went to exchange a few more dollars into rubles and picked up a couple of Dr. Oetker's frozen pizza's for lunch. They were easy and cheap (by Moscow standards at least) and they weren't too messy. We didn't want food all over our clothes for the embassy visit.

We walked to the embassy since it is just around the corner. Since we could walk there, we did not have anyone from our agency with us. It was not a problem, the instructions that came with the appointment were easy and clear. Because we have U.S. Passports, we could go to the head of the line, in front of those with Russian passports who were waiting for visas. Inside, we went through security. They allow absolutely NO ELECTRONIC DEVICES at all. We THOUGHT we left all of our electronics in the apartment, but we forgot about the flashlight in Lisa's purse. We had to leave it with the security checkpoint (they are used to this, you can retrieve them when you leave).

Inside, we had to get a ticket, go the second floor to pay for the visas ($400 each child), drop off our ticket and receipt at the window and wait to be called. While we waited, one of the consuls came out and explained the USCIS process that we would go through once we get back to an American airport. We met a couple from Dublin Ohio waiting with us... small world (for those outside of Columbus, Dublin is one of the other Columbus Suburbs). When it was our turn, we all went up the window where the counsul had us sign a few forms, made sure all of our information was correct, and stressed again that NO ONE SHOULD OPEN THE SEALED PACKET before we give it to the USCIS officer in Atlanta. He also explained that once that officer stamps Kim and Peter's passport, they will officially become United States citizens. They will automatically have dual citizenship. They could not cancel their Russian citizenship even if they wanted to until they are 18 years old. After the interview, we had to wait to receive our final immigration packet. They say you will have to wait about a half-hour, but it was more like 10 minutes. Then we were done. One more GREAT BIG checkmark off of our list... the kids have visas. The last big checkmark starts tomorrow when I go to the Russian consolate to register the kids (our agency makes us do it here in Moscow before we leave... others let you do it once you get home).

In the afternoon (looks like evening because it gets dark so early here... we're pretty far north) we walked down to Old Arbat street. It is now a pedestrian street and is the tourist shopping area of Moscow. We bought several Matryoshka dolls and a few other souveneirs. We did some haggling and got reasonable prices. We will probably go back on Thursday or Friday to buy a very nice matryoshka and some other items for Kim and Peter for when they are older.

Turning 40... in Russia!

Today is my 40th birthday. Never in my life would I have guessed that I would turn 40 in Moscow. Strange how things happen in ways that you would never have imagined. Lisa asked me what I wanted for my birthday on Sunday night. After a long day of travel on Sunday and a few meltdowns related to communication frustration, fatigue, and being scared of a new place, I jokingly commented that for my birthday, I wanted a peaceful day. I got it! We really had a wonderful day today. It has become clear that when the kids are stressed, frightened, tired, or frustrated about inability to communicate, they will respond by having a battle of wills. When they've been rested, understand what we need to do, and are in an environment that they have at least a passing familiarity with, they do pretty well.

Today we started with the medical exams for Kim and Peter. For those planning an adoption in Russia, THESE HAD TO BE PAID IN RUBLES and not dollars... exactly the opposite of what our agency told us. We were told to bring $100 for the exam for each child and that we should not exchange these into Rubles. At the hospital, our translator explained that the exam would be 2800 rubles for each child (this price is $100 and was expected... but paying in rubles was not). I had plenty of rubles... in the apartment. I had a few thousand rubles on me and I had my two new, crisp, $100 bills that I had already sealed in an envelope and labled "kids medical exams" before we left for Russia. I didn't have enough rubles on me and we found this out well after we had left the apartment. Fortunately, our translator was able to loan me a few thousand rubles to cover the difference. We exchanged my Ben Franklins on the way back so I could pay her back. I hate it when we plan and think we are prepared and then we look foolish because we were given bad information. Oh, I almost forgot... the cost of the exams also changed. Kim and Peter both also required a chest X-ray, so it cost us 6800 rubles instead of 5800.

The physician (Dr. Boris) was REALLY good with the kids. He was fluently bi-lingual and made the kids feel at ease. He explained that he would not poke them with any needles and he just needed to look for their tickle spots. Both passed their exams and X-rays, although Dr. Boris commented after looking at Peter's teeth that we will be buying our dentist a new BMW. Kim's only problem that he pointed out was that her Papa would have trouble keeping the boys away in a few years and he suggested that I go ahead and buy a shotgun now.

After the medicals, we stopped by the U.S. embassy for our translator to drop off the paperwork in preparation for our interview appointment tomorrow. The embassy is literally just around the corner from our apartment (5 - 8 minute walk). We can see it from our apartment window. While we were at the hospital, the driver also called his son (a university student who just returned from a trip to California) to get him to be our guide for a tour of the Kremlin later today. It was a pretty cheap guide... all we had to do was buy his ticket. Tickets for the 7 of us (2 adults, 1 college student with a discount, and 4 kids) cost just under 2000 rubles (just under $70). We bought tickets for the Kremlin grounds and for the Armory Museum in the Kremlin. We did not get the diamond house tickets. All that I can say about the Kremlin and it's cathedrals and museums is WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! We toured cathedrals where the Csars are entoumbed (saw one who died in 1341), the cathedrals were built before Columbus sailed for America. The armory museum is so named because it used to be the armory of the Kremlin. It is now a museum with artifacts from Imperial Russia (pre-revoulution) and it is AMAZING. I wish I could have taken photos, but I've already figured out what happens when you take photos in areas where they are not allowed in Russia. There were Coronation gowns from the 14th century, Crowns studded with thousands of diamonds, none smaller than 3 carats, chainmail armor, solid gold dishes, a diamond and ruby studded bowl for washing your dirty hands... The extravagant wealth of the csars is not something that we american's really understand. They flaunted it in front of peasants who were barely surviving. It's not that hard to understand the sentiments that lead to the overthrow of the csars. I'm trying to get Beth to write a post about the museum... she loved it. Lisa, Beth and I could have spent days going through it. Luke, Peter, and Kim liked parts of it, but it quickly became too much for them and they became bored.

Lisa made a nice dinner of roasted chicken (pre-roasted at the store, she just heated it up), baked potatoes, peas, bread, and a birthday cake from the store (bought without me being there). The roasted chicken was much like you would buy at home... except that it cost 3 - 4 times as much as at home. It was really nice to celebrate together as a family and do with smiles and cooperation. Kim even worked hard to keep me from seeing the "secret" cake in the fridge before dinner.

Travel Day to Moscow

It's Sunday and we are in Moscow and (obviously) have internet again. It's nice to have the 100 Mbps connection that is included with the apartment... and even nicer that it appears to be stable. Posting from our own computer and not copying everything onto a memory stick makes this a lot easier.

We woke this morning at 4:45am, were picked-up from the hotel at 6:15, and we boarded the sahmalYOHT (airplane) for MAHskahvah (Moscow)at 7:40. This is the only flight to Moscow from Stavropol. There is a later flight from Mineral Water (about 2 hours away). Peter was extremely excited at lift-off. In the boarding area while we were waiting, he drew pictures of his flight... except that he seemed to have the impression that we were going to Moscow in a rocket and not a plane. As the plane started moving, he kept gesturing to his sister that we were about to lift-off like a rocketship would. I showed a more gradual take-off with my hands and he said he didn't want that, he wanted a blast-off. Sorry buddy... nothing I can do about that one.

The two hour flight was a little bumpy in our Russian made (around 1980?) aircraft. Neither Kim nor Peter had ever flown before. They both became airsick and we're glad we had grabbed air-sickness bags for everyone. Beth didn't look so good on the flight, but she made it through. Peter did not and Kim REALLY did not. We will be administering Dramamine or its Russian equivalent before our next flights.

We were picked up from Vnukovo airport a little bit after 10:00 and learned that we would not be able to check-in at our apartment until 2:00. The driver had another obligation, so we were dropped off at a cafe in front of our apartment building to wait... for over 3 hours... with 4 kids... 4kids who got up 2 hours too early, had a bumpy and nauseating flight and had not been able to expend any energy anywhere.... any guesses on how that turned out? I think they were glad when we left. We probably won't eat there again... not that we would be welcome at this point anyway... but the food was good. One of our Moscow representatives came there and went through a lot of paperwork with us... forms for the embassy, the children's medical exams, etc. It took me a good hour or more to do all the forms. During this time we also had lunch. Restaurants in Moscow are MUCH more expensive than those in Stavropol... around 70% more expensive in this case. We won't be eating out much here, even though this Uzbek restaurant was pretty good... again, the fresh bread was wonderful.

We finally checked into the apartment at 2:00 and the apartment representative went through everything with us, in English, answered our questions and did a nice job. It was a relief that this was done well. The materials in the apartment (for phone, internet, etc) are all in english and there is a 24 hour number you can call for questions or if there is a problem. We had to call because a lightbulb burned out... and because the door on our washing machine is missing. Yep... we (I mean Lisa) are still hand-washing clothes... now for six! I wring them and hang them on the drying rack... it's pretty big. The apartment includes free phonecalls to the U.S. if we can ever get them to work. No success so far... the apartment management is checking into it. The apartment is nice enough and has plenty of space. It has two bedrooms, one with a queen bed, one with a sofa bed and computer table. The living room has two sofa beds. This place could sleep 8 easily if needed... so we have plenty of sleeping space. The girls have the master bedroom, the boys the living room, and Lisa and I have the computer room (so I can blog when the kids go to bed). The apartment has a small but functional kitchen. No more having to eat out for every meal with kids who are either tired of eating out or don't have the social experiences to know how to behave at a restaurant. You can find apartments in moscow through Peace Travel Services at http://www.go-russia.com/. It took us three tries of booking apartments before we got one that was not rented, so try to get your apartment as soon as your dates are confirmed.

We walked to red square this afternoon and stopped by the supermarket on the way back. After dinner, the kids watched "Ice Age"... in Russian, with English sub-titles. It worked well for everyone. It was a very long and stressful day and it showed on the kids as the day wore on. We put them to bed early. Tomorrow, Kim and Peter have their medical exams. Tuesday we have our interview at the U.S. Embassy. Wednesday is at the Russian Consolate. Thursday we pick-up our paperwork from the Russian Consolate. Friday we could have flown home... but our agency said Saturday, so we are staying an extra day for no good reason. We have lots of comments about the info we have received from our agency, but we'll wait until we get home to organize those for the blog. We fly to Atlanta on Saturday around lunch time and we get home Saturday night around the kids' bedtime. We are going to be SOOOOOOOOOOO tired, but we are very excited (and very ready) to get home.

Good Night Stavropol

We had hoped for a good LONG night’s sleep last night. The kids had other thoughts. With four kids sleeping in the same room of our two-room hotel “suite” (with 3 in a queen bed, one on a roll-away), as soon as one stirs, they all stir… Then they all go into the next room and jump into bed with Mama and Papa. It was actually kind of nice… except it was before 7:00 in the morning on a day when we had absolutely no time-commitments other than the breakfast bar (closes at 10:30 am). So much for sleeping in. On the positive side, we had a pretty good morning that turned into a pretty good day.

Today was Saturday, so there was a little more activity around the hotel and the shopping areas around it. After breakfast (the kids were VERY impressed at all the choices and the fact that they could have seconds if they wanted), we spent much of the morning in the hotel. The girls went over to the shopping area with Lisa to buy a few Stavropol magnets that Lisa will turn into a Christmas Tree Ornament (we get one for every milestone event in our lives… it’s fun to take them out every year and remember). The boys stayed in with me. They played computer games TOGETHER and it was great to see… sometimes it was English language games and sometimes Russian language games… like one of our favorites, "Pajamchick Sam" (we have some other Pajama Sam games at home). It’s actually really pretty neat to see games you know in a new language. We had lunch at the baked potato kafe (still one of our favorites… the staff all know us by now and they no longer cringe when we walk in the door). We really wanted to have Kim and Peter split a baked potato because we knew neither would finish one… but how do you have the new kids share and the old kids each get their own at such an early point in our family’s history? So we had two half-eaten potatoes when we were done. We had some mild hurdles today, but overall not too bad. I’d guess that there were maybe one third as many “nee hachoos” as yesterday and they were not as forceful. None were more than we were expecting nor ready for. We are already getting used to each other.

I’d really like to take a minute and both praise and thank Beth and Luke for their incredible patience with this. They’ve endured seeing two complete strangers horn-in on their special relationships with their parents. That has to be hard, but they’ve been a patient as possible and more than could be reasonably expected of any child. We have two very special kids in these two. I only hope that their new brother and sister can become something like them in this way. Beth and Luke “took a dive” in most of the 57 games of tic-tac-toe while we waited for lunch to be ready. It was cute when Beth didn’t know what to do when she was trying to let Peter win and it was her move. She had only 3 places to put her “X” left on the board and all three would win the game. Today, Peter learned to write his name. The kids all had to write their names on each game that they won. Kim could already do it before we arrived this time… she’s been practicing. Last night, Lisa and I discreetly went through the things they brought from the orphanage with them so see if there were any potential problem items and to learn more about the kids lives. Kim has a little notebook / journal in which she’s been drawing heart pictures and writing “Love Mama y Papa” for months. She also had a lot of our letters. She also had an old photo from 1988 that showed what appeared to be a group of schoolgirls about her age. This afternoon she took it out and pointed to the one that looked just like her and told me this was her old Mama. We gained a little bit of information about their birthmother from the court papers that we will be able to share with Kim and Peter when they are old enough to seek their history.

Tonight we packed up two weeks worth of stuff and got ready to travel tomorrow. All four kids are excited about it. We will leave the hotel around 6:15am and our flight to Moscow is at 8:00 am. The kids are all in bed and quiet now… it takes a little while to get them calmed down, but nothing unreasonable. We’ll have to get them (and us) up and moving tomorrow, so it’s time to say goodnight. It’s more than just Good Night to Stavropol, it’s goodbye. Goodbye to this city that we’ve come to know and no longer feel as awkward in. Goodbye to this hotel where we are going stir crazy. Goodbye to Alex and Vlad and the ladies at the front desk who’ve been very helpful. Goodbye to seeking alternatives to “fresh burger”. Goodbye to old lives apart and old hurts. Hello Moscow, here come the Merricks.

Family of Six - Day 1

You know the drill…. No internet, no email… and blogger has been unavailable to us for 3 days now. We wonder if the site is being blocked in this region for some reason because we couldn’t view the pages. I tried using Mozilla Firefox instead of Internet Explorer and I could log-in to blogger, but when I tried to upload anything, I just got a blank page and was not able to see anymore blogger pages after that. We will have to wait until Moscow to post the last few days.

Today the waiting ended. It’s something we’ve been working toward for what seems forever. It was actually pretty brief and anti-climatic at the orphanage. We were picked up a little before 9:00 am and taken to the orphanage for the last time. We took clothes for the kids to change into that matched what had laid out for Beth and Luke to wear. We also took a couple bags of gifts for the orphanage and some flowers for the Director. She wasn’t there, so the kids left them on her desk. We were sent with Kim and Peter to their respective group areas to help them change. Lisa went with Kim and I with Peter. It was the first time any of us had seen Peter’s group area. Apparently Russian men must not know anything about how to help a boy change clothes. When Peter and I entered the group area, a group of 3 caregivers took his bag, pulled out his new clothes… piece by piece, inspecting each one. They must have passed muster because they all smiled and nodded. Then they helped strip him and change him. I tried to help, but mostly was bumped out of the way … the ladies know what they are doing and I might mess it up. I did get to help put his belt on him… barely. Lisa did well on guessing his sizes. The length of his pants was perfect. The waist was about 4 sizes too big, but the length was perfect. They’ll fit better after a few good meals. We then returned to the entrance foyer where there were hugs all around. Both of our kids had a small grocery bag that contained all of their possessions and a few gifts from friends. Peter had a new shirt in there… and some OLD slippers. Not really crazy about the smell from the old slippers, but I can’t get rid of them… Lisa says so and she’s the boss on such things. We took a couple of photos and then we left. One interesting note was the number of caregivers who came out to say goodbye, but not a single child. In fact, we saw fewer children today than on any previous visits. Not much fanfare to the goodbye ceremony… in fact, there was no ceremony, just a few personal goodbyes. The whole thing took about 15 minutes. We’re so glad we sent the cakes and worker gifts with the kids last night so that they could celebrate with their friends. There was no time or opportunity for such things this morning.

On the way back to the hotel, we stopped and met with our regional coordinator at an official building of some sort. We went inside and were issued the kids’ new birth certificates and their certificates of adoption. We had to sign several documents that we still have no idea what they actually say. We’re getting used to that by now. Our regional coordinator took all the paperwork and Lisa’s passport and left to get the kids’ passports made. We got them all back with two shiny red Russian passports around 4:00 this afternoon.

The day was a little trying on all of us. Kim and Peter had different responses to today than we had expected. We thought Peter would struggle and Kim would be very happy. It was the other way around. Peter kept smiling and talked like a magpie all morning… more than he ever had before. Kim took it very hard. She was very quiet and serious at the orphanage and then had an emotional breakdown back at the hotel. It turned out that she had a friend that she was not able to say goodbye to. She kept looking at her journal at a letter from her friend and her friend’s picture and crying. One of the ladies from the front desk of the hotel was kind enough to come translate for us a little so we could understand the problem. After a phone call to the friend to say goodbye, all was better… note quite great yet, but much better. The rest of the day was spent taking some photos and playing a little in the room. The kids are now QUITE SICK AND TIRED of photos. We probably won’t take many tomorrow. We did go skating at the Galleria for a final time.

It is obvious that the first few weeks are going to be difficult as we try to communicate with them and as they learn a lot of the social behaviors that we take for granted in family interactions, respecting parents, and out in public. Lets just say that dinner at a nice restaurant to celebrate was quite an adventure for two kids who have no idea how to conduct themselves at a restaurant. The kids have no concept of waiting… the food is ready at the orphanage before the kids come in. Not so at a restaurant… that had never dawned on us before. Peter stood up and yelled at our astonished waiter… I think he said something along the lines of “Hey, where’s my food?” I understood the waiter telling him that it would be around 15 minutes. Peter rolled his eyes and slunk back into his chair and pouted a little. He also liked to drink his tea from his spoon as if it were soup… with a loud slurp. So much to learn and so many opportunities to take advantage of. Today is the first day of a long and exciting journey.