Thank You, Thank You, Thank You

I can not say it enough. Thank you. Tonight our church had an adoption shower for us. Thank You. A big thank you to everyone that made cookies for it. It would be wonderful, if you would share the recipes. (You could just post them on the comments, then everyone who enjoyed them can make them.) I didn't have any that weren't wonderful. I want to give an extra thank you to everyone that tried making a Russian recipe. They were great! (Sour Cream was really in some of them???) On the other hand, you can't go wrong with chocolate either, so thank you too. I guess what I am really just saying is Thank you to you all. Another HUGE thank you goes out to Jen, Rich and Pastor Bill for the set up and clean up. Thank you.
We can hardly believe the tremendously generous outpouring of support. God is so very good. Enough was given to fly one of us to Russia and back for our court appointment. (Now all we need is the date... Keep praying.) This was so much more than we ever expected. Thank You. Mostly I want to thank everyone for your emotional support through this whole process and your prayers, prayers, prayers. Thank you.
Your prayers are what is keeping this moving and giving us the streanth to keep going. I will say it one more time Thank You. ... or should we say спасибо

Not the Call We Hoped For

I've been wondering how to write this post. I've been thinking about it for a couple days now. You see, we received a phone call from our case worker on Thursday, and it wasn't the call we wanted to hear.

We've been jumping at every ring of the telephone for 3 weeks or so, hoping it would be our case worker telling us of our court date in Stavropol. Our materials have been in for over a month and we were getting antsy.

She called... she said that the court had our paperwork and that our paperwork is all approved (so far so good...). She then said that the court had trouble locating a birth certificate for our kids' biological mother and that it took them a while to get it. As a result, our case was delayed (not so good).

We will not be able to have our court date in September. Also, the judge is taking vacation for the entire month of October. We should expect a court date in early NOVEMBER. At least it might be early November if they are able to put together the schedule before the judge's vacation. There is a chance that they won't create the November schedule until the judge returns from vacation. If so, we'd be going in mid to late November at the earliest. We might not get the kids home before the end of the year if things go slowly at that point. For those of you who keep track of such things, we will have several documents that expire in the first week of November. It looks like we'll have more time and expense to renew them.

Georgia on my mind

A lot of people have been asking about how this whole Russia-Georgia conflict will affect our adoption. The honest answer is that I don't know. There are a few things that I do know, but not many.

First, our kids are in the city of Stavropol, which is in the "state" of Stavropol located in the southwest part of Russia between the Black and Caspian Seas. You've probably seen far too many maps of that part of the world on the news over the past 3 weeks, but I've included one here anyway. If you look at the map, you'll see that Stavropol Kray (think "State") is close to Georgia, but does not border it directly. The city of Stavropol is almost 200 miles exactly from Tskhinvali, the capital of South Ossetia and location of much of the fighting. The kids are far enough away that it does not appear that they are in any direct danger. Praise God for that.

The part that scares me is not the fighting... it's the political posturing between Russia and the United States. It seems that everyday we see another headline where the US and Russia are moving further apart. We say stern things about Russia's actions in Georgia and they say stern things about us putting a missle defense base in Poland. NATO says there can't be business as usual until Russia pulls out of Georgia and Russia says it will no longer cooperate with NATO. It's pretty clear that we are on a path to a new cold-war. I hope it stays cold, but even cold is a big problem for us and our kids.

Our greatest fear right now is that Russia will decided to up the ante and suspend travel visas for Americans, or worse yet, they may suspend the foreign adoption programs. If that happens, we won't be able to go there for court and to bring the kids home. Right now, we have been told to expect a September court date. In fact, we could be given a date at literally anytime now. I pray that it comes soon and that we can get there and get the kids before the strained tensions between our governments get any worse. I know that God is in control and that through Him all things are possible. I hope his timing is quick however. Keep praying for us and for Russia to keep their borders open.

Divine Intervention... yet again

Alright God, I get it. You are in control. I know, I know... just quit worrying and have faith.

We've spent much of the past week in a disappointed mood about missing our chance to get to Russia before October for the court trip. We missed our deadline after working REALLY hard to make it. We relied on ourselves to make this happen a bit too much (alright, more than a bit). You allowed us to stumble in our vanity of thinking we could pull it off all by ourselves... but once again you didn't let us fall.

This afternoon we received an email from our case worker at our agency letting us know that the judge in Stavropol has decided to NOT take vacation in September. The vaction will be in October instead. It looks like we are going to get a September court date.

God only you could make this happen …

Note from the blogger-in-chief: The following is a stream of consciousness post from Lisa as she engaged in yet another round of the Great Paper Chase…

Great news today! Andy brought over the redone papers that we needed. (Thank you again Andy! If anyone is looking for a realtor in the Columbus area, I’ll give you his number.) He even found out which notary we have used in the past and used her, so I know the notary is good.

OH NO!!! One of the pages was skipped in the signing and notary process. Andy takes them back and runs out to get the missed pages notarized.

I call Mark to tell him I’m going to run downtown to get them certified and apostilled as soon as Andy brings them by. Andy gets them back to me about 3:30. Okay this is going to be a rush but I can do this, or can I.

It’s after 3:40 by the time I give Beth and Luke instructions and get out the door. I’ve got to hurry because both offices close at 5:00.

I’M OUT OF GAS in the van!!!! I go to get gas. It’s 4:03 before I’m on the road again. I SO want these papers done but there is no way I’ll make the Franklin County Court House and the Secretary of States office before 5:00. I keep asking myself "Why am I even wasting the gas today?"

It has taken me close to an hour to park downtown before, so I’m not optimistic. For some reason I keep heading downtown but with a prayer “God you’re the only way these are going to get done today.” I make it downtown in great time and get off the highway at 4:18. At least I have a chance of getting the certifications today if I can find a parking spot. I head down by the courthouse, and turn right, right in front of the courthouse to start circling the blocks to look for a spot to park. As I’m turning the corner a car is backing out four spaces from the corner. (4 spaces, I’ve never parked within 4 blocks of the courthouse before.) I get parked and there is still an hour on the parking meter, Thank you God.

I grab the papers and head for the security line. WHAT? there is no line!!! Walk right up, the guard is waiting there as I drop my purse on the x-ray belt hand the papers through the slot and walk through the metal detector. I’m in. Now up two floors to the Clerk of Courts office, turn the corner and an elevator is standing open and empty. Thank you God.

I’ll be in the amusement park-like maze of line in the Clerk of Courts office before five, so I’ll get the certifications today. What? The maze is open? And 3 clerks are sitting there with open windows. Thank you God this just doesn’t happen. Its now 4:32 and I’m leaving the courthouse with my certifications. Thank you God you just performed a miracle.

Am I actually going to make this? Normally I walk between the two buildings, 5 blocks north, 3 blocks east, and a ½ block north but I’d never make it. God you gave me one parking spot can you do it again? I get in the car and head up to the Secretary of State’s office. All the parking spots on the road I am on are listed ‘no parking 4pm to 6pm’. Basically that clears open an extra lane for rush hour but where am I going to park??? I pass the office I need and the first road I come to is one way left and I’m in the right lane. Oh well one more block. The next road I turn right onto. There in front of me, the first spot is sitting open. Thank you God!!! I get parked (this time I did have to feed the meter.)

I head down the street and head into the building. The guard remembers me from last week and doesn’t even ask for two forms of ID, he just hands me a visitor’s pass and I’m in. I’m going to make it?!?! Inside the office I walk right up to the counter and hand her my papers. I get the papers back all apostilled and ready for international travel. I turn in my ID and start walking to the car. I look down at my watch as I get to the car, 4:53. I still had time and I was done. I call Mark to tell him that I was heading to make copies. Thank you God, only you could have pulled this off!

Episode IV: A New Hope

Change is hard... but getting easier.

After a lot of self-examination, research, discussion, and above all else, prayer... we've come to the conclusion that staying in the El Salvador program through our agency is not the right choice for us. We want all four of our children to share a common childhood and it looks like that just won't be very likely if we stay put. I also don't know how well we'd hold up with a multi-year wait. I know that Abraham and Sarah waited for the fulfillment of God's promise, as did Zechariah and Elizabeth. But I'll be honest and admit that such a wait feels like a millstone around our necks. There are so many children who need families that we feel like we need to bring two of them home ASAP.

We've decided to not only change countries, but to also change agencies. We're about to submit our application to our new agency and once we are accepted, I'll post a link to their website(s) and describe the process of changing agencies as we work our way through it.

As I reflect on our initial choice from nearly a year ago, we looked pretty hard at a couple different agencies. In the end we elected to go with one that had a lot a very well produced printed materials and that seemed to be among the most professional appearing. It advertised a pretty reasonable timeframe and an attractive cost while at the same time appeared to be well run and organized. We shyed away from an agency we were very interested in and who seemed to be the most pro-active about making a difference in the orphanages they worked with but who also didn't have quite as nice of materials for prospective adoptive parents. We had better communication from this agency than the one we chose, but let appearances make our choice for us... sort of like the Israelites looked at Saul and thought he'd be a good king for them because he looked like what they thought a good king should look like. Of course... they'd never had a king before, let alone a good king. It seems our qualifications for choosing an agency were about as well developed as their qualifications for choosing a king.

It turns out that it's the communication with the agency that became the #1 thing we desired and were never quite satisfied with in our agency. Don't get me wrong, our first agency provides information to those who are diligent about contacting them and seeking it and they do it in a very businesslike way. It's just that we are learning that we don't want a businesslike adoption experience... we want a more personal one and we want to work with someone who is more proactive than reactive in their approach to communications.

Looking back, we went with our head and not our heart. Nearly a year later, we are going with our heart. Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." We are trusting him to guide us. Interestingly, since we've moved in this direction, the LORD keeps showing us that it is his will. He reaffirms what our heart has been telling us for a long time. Just today we came across several Blogs from people with our new agency that reinforce the choice in a way that was EXACTLY what we needed. We've also learned about the outreach activities this agency has to make a difference in the lives of the children who are the hardest to adopt. They seem to match with us on why they are involved in international adoption and they live-out what they say. We've seen several instances of the kind of communication we craved... both betwen the agency and us and between the agency and others. I can't help but notice that the LORD is actively giving us some peace with the decision.

- Mark

Bewilderment

It's February and I'm cold.

My body temperature is where it's supposed to be, so that's not the problem. My office and house are comfortably heated.... that's not the problem either. I have appropriate clothing. I have the love of a wonderful woman and children whom I adore. I shouldn't be cold... but I am. I'm so very cold in my soul today. Maybe numb is the more correct word. You see, we've learned that we probably won't be able to spend our lives with our children from El Salvador.

Our agency is closing the program to new applications because it is unclear when (or even if) dossiers will be reviewed by the government in El Salvador. It's now been about 4.5 months since we submitted our dossier to AWAA (our agency) and it isn't anwhere close to being looked at. At the time we submitted, their materials indicated that it normally takes 3 - 10 months for dossier approval. We sent it to our agency, they sent it to El Salvador where it would be translated into Spanish and then reviewed by OPA (oficina para adopciones), the government agency overseeing international adoptions. The process in El Salvador is that the dossier is first approved by OPA and then you go on the list to receive referral of a child. As such, we've never seen our children there. We don't know their names. We don't know their stories. We don't know their hopes and dreams... but we know that we're ready to bring our children home. It looks like we will not get the chance... at least not for several years.

OPA does not have the staff or resources to do their job. We've heard (through the grapevine... not from our agency) that OPA had two social workers who reviewed dossiers but that they now only have one. Last year, they approved what we understand to be 9 dossiers from our agency. There are over 50 waiting for review and there is no timeline on when they will even be looked at. There is at least one family from our agency whose unreviewed dossier has been in country for 16 months and counting. At this pace they will take years to even catch-up. Hence, our agency has shut the door to new applications for El Salvador and we have a difficult decision to make.

We can elect to stay in El Salvador with AWAA and wait for several years, or we can change. My wife and I both agree that we want our children to share a common childhood. This pushes us toward getting out of El Salvador. We are trying to decide if we stay with AWAA and switch programs, or if we change agencies altogether (abandoning several thousand dollars in the process). This is weighing on our hearts heavily right now and it chills me down to my very core. It's like the joy has been sucked right out of my heart. How can we "abandon" our children in El Salvador who are counting on us? I know that we've never even learned their names, but it feels no different than abandoning our birth children. It hurts in a way that you may never know unless you've been in a similar situation. Still, I don't think we really have an alternative.

A lot of folks from the El Salvador program are staying and describe it as having faith. They feel God-lead to be there and they will follow this path as a matter of faith. I don't think I'm so much having a crisis of faith as much as I'm having a crisis of understanding where God's leading us. I truly feel God's will in bringing two children into our lives and hearts. Of this I have absolute clarity and no doubts whatsoever. Where I'm struggling is in understanding WHERE these children are. When we first started thinking and planning, we considered several countries. I described in my first post on this blog a little of how we ended up in El Salvador, but I'd be dishonest if I don't admit that the cost (among the lowest) and the advertised timeframe (among the quickest) were factors that I considered. Was I really lead to El Salvador as part of God's plan... or was I just trying to micromanage His plan for my own ease? Afterall, I know how to best do God's will... it's doing it my way, right? I should know better than that and I think He's showing me the truth.

So, coming to grips with the truth is a hard thing. I feel a little like David in 2 Samuel 12. He did what he knew to be selfish and against God's will. The Lord showed him the foulness of his selfishness and it's terrible cost through the death of the child borne of David's sin. This is sort of how I feel about my children in El Salvador, albeit in on a much smaller scale. I know the Lord will care for them and has a plan for them also, so I find some comfort in that. So now it's time to truly be open to His will and let Him show me his plan... and do it His way. I think He's already doing so... ironically, it looks like it might be with the very first agency we considered nearly a year ago. The one we ignored even though we felt moved about them. It's funny how the Lord corrects and moves you back on track. He did so with David who went on to honor God greatly.... I only hope I can do the same.

- Mark