Our aMERRICKan Family

Remembering the transition

2011-09-08T20:21:00.000-04:00

We were pointed to a blog post today that made us reflect back on our transition period after Kim and Peter first came home.

In this post, the blogger reflects on what it is like when your adopted children haven't yet learned to trust, learned what it means to be in a family, and made peace with their past and future. It is exhausting, frightening, and overwhelming. I can't do justice to her description, so I suggest you read it yourself.

For those going through that transitional stage, I have a word or two of encouragement. You WILL get through it, you ARE strong enough, and your kids WILL make peace with their past and future. Of course, you are going to struggle to get to that point, but it is a struggle worth going through.

As we approach 3 years post adoption, I look back and see where we were in that first 6 months and I cringe. I look to where we were at one year and how much better it was than months 1-6. I reflect on where we were at year 2 and see just how "normal" we had become (most of the time). Now, approaching 3 years I can't believe how much further we have come in just the past 3 months. Our kids are now mostly "normal". Their ongoing issues and problems look a lot more like those of other kids. We still have our moments, but they are no where near as often or severe, or exhausting. Dare I say it... we have become just a regular old family. Isn't God wonderful.

Making Pelemeni

2011-03-04T22:14:00.001-05:00

No... we didn't drop off the face of the earth... just the blogosphere :-)

So many other things have taken priority in our lives that keeping the blog up fell by the wayside. To bring you up to date, we're now 27 months post-adoption and all is well. Look for a more in depth "update" post soon.

In the mean time, tomorrow is Peter's 9th Birthday (or 11th if you still believe his paperwork). What did he want for his birthday meal you ask? Why, Pelemeni of course! So, tonight we are all in the kitchen singing songs from family camp at Scioto Hills while making homemade Pelemeni that we will cook and eat tomorrow.

For the uninitiated, Pelemeni are similar to ravioli except they are served in a thin broth instead of pasta sauce and topped with sour cream and dill. We recently came across a GREAT russian cooking blog called Traditional Russian Food and it has a good, step by step recipe for Pelemeni. It's not our first time, but the recipe is always helpful anyway.

Luke's Spring Concert

2009-04-29T17:44:00.000-04:00

Luke recently had his spring elementary school musical, called "How Does Your Garden Grow?". Luke was a farmer... the straw hat and plaid shirt helps give that away. Here is a little taste. In the later part, he and his buddy Ryan from Cub Scouts are doing their best "Dancing With the Stars" audition... or maybe not. Enjoy.

Happy Birthday Grandma

2009-04-23T21:41:00.003-04:00

Grandma: Just wanted to let you know we are thinking about you today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Congratulations Beth

2009-04-18T21:52:00.003-04:00

Beth missed the second half of her soccer game to perform with a clarinet quartet at the OMEA Solo and Ensemble contest. She was all fidgety beforehand to the point she didn't even play the right note during the warm up. Then it was time for them to play and they did a wonderful job.

Afterwards she was convenced that they had earned a "II" or "III" but when the raking went up on the board it was a "I" or a score of Superior.

Nice work.

Happy Easter and our first night away from home

2009-04-12T20:56:00.007-04:00

We spent Easter at Mark's parents. It was our first overnight trip anywhere since coming home from Russia. Everyone had a great time and all four kids did well... especially considering this whole Easter things was sort of new to half of them. We had a big dinner with a lot of the family. Enjoy the photos.

Happy Birthday Grandpa

2009-03-29T10:11:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Grandpa!!!!

Losing Their Language

2009-03-25T16:51:00.002-04:00

We have always said that it was important to us that Kim and Peter keep their Russian language. We talked about this before we even went to Russia for trip 1. We have emphasized it repeatedly with the kids, the agency, our interpreter in Russia, the Director of the orphanage, the judge... just about anyone who would listen. We've brought home books in Russian and videos in Russian. The kids love the videos (they watched the Jungle Book yesterday)... Peter could never read in Russian and Kim doesn't like to read very much, so the books aren't too much of a hit. We actively seek out opportunities for the kids to speak Russian with other Russian speakers in our city. We also thought that since we adopted two Russian speaking siblings, that their speaking Russian to each other would also help them keep their language.

It isn't working.

They now mix in a lot of English words when they speak to each other in Russian... even when we aren't in the room. Yesterday they played checkers and as they set up the board, Kim told Peter "Ya brown" and Peter answered "Ya white" (our checkerboard is wooden and we have brown and white pieces). This alone doesn't mean much, but we've noticed that Kim is having a harder and harder time reading in Russian. Peter keeps forgetting the Russian word for things or tells us that the English word is Russian (for words where even I know that it isn't).

The first two videos were made in March 2009. These are 3 months, almost to the day, after our adoption became offical and we took custody of Kim and Peter. Mom shot these as a condition of the kids being allowed to play "Mama Hachish"... one of their favorite homeschool games... more on that later. In the first one, we asked them to say their alphabet... first in English and then in Russian. After they struggle doing the Russian together, Kim says "Ya snaiyish" (I know... BTW, it should have been "Ya snaiyoo"... they no longer conjugate verbs correctly) and tries doing it by herself... and can't get it right. She then says "OK, Ya ne snaiyish Russian" (OK, I don't know Russian... it should have been "Ya ne snaiyoo").

In the second video, Mom is holding a book where they can read the Russian alphabet. Kim had disappeared between the two to get one of her Russian books so she could look at it and remember. She was troubled that she didn't remember the Russian alphabet. Even with Lisa holding up the book, notice how much they struggle with it.

This last video is from our first trip to Russia back in July 2008 where the kids said the alphabet for us. Peter (Gyena back then) does not know his Russian alphabet, even though he is supposedly 8 years old. He had never had any schooling at that time. Kim (Yana back then) had just finished second grade and does know hers.

We need to rethink our stance on their native language. Do we put a lot more time and resources into trying to help them keep it or do we allow it to continue to slip away?

Beth's Band Concert

2009-03-24T16:47:00.006-04:00

Beth recently had her spring band concert. This is her second year of playing the clarinet. We've come a long way from the notorious "Hot Cross Buns" concert. Enjoy.

Missing Tooth

2009-03-18T16:51:00.007-04:00

This tooth has been loose since before Peter joined our family. He has been afraid to wiggle it or move it. (He really didn't want to lose it.) I was reaching the point I was afraid he would choke on it because it was so loose.

Tonight, with it dangling from just one point in his mouth, we convinced him to let us pull it. He got all pale, sweaty and clammy. He swallowed hard and let us pull it out. It was more than ready but you could clearly tell that he had some flashbacks to his last trip to a dentist.

Anyway it was so loose it came out with almost no blood. We then got him thinking about putting his tooth in his tooth pillow and what did he think he would find in the morning. "A Dollar!!" "A dollar??" This and some tickling got a smile going but all night it was as if he was mourning the loss of his tooth.

Side note: He has five other loose teeth, pray that each tooth lost will not be such an emotionally thought process.

Happy Birthday Grandpa

2009-03-11T15:45:00.003-04:00

Grandpa, we want to send you this birthday greeting. Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

We hope you had a good trip.

Happy 9th, I mean 7th Birthday

2009-03-05T22:12:00.008-05:00

Today Peter officially turned 9 and we celebrated his 7th birthday. If this doesn't make sense, see the post entitled "Peter, Peter, How Old Art Thou?" Anyway, today we celebrated Peter's 7th Birthday. The celebrating started early since last night we put balloons and noise makers in his bedroom while he was sleeping. He came downstairs this morning in full party gear... party hat, pajamas, balloons and noisemaker. The day he had been waiting for had finally arrived. (He had been counting down the days on the calendar till his birthday ever since we did a calendar unit in school a month ago. A big party hat sticker has been his focus on the calender ever since.)

The day started with candles on his fried eggs and Mom giving 7 birthday hugs and 7 birthday kisses. He had the biggest, silliest grin at this. I then sent him up to the shower to get cleaned up so we could go have his picture taken. He did really well at these, although, as fate would have it, his hair would not lay down in back (He normally doesn't have a problem with hair standing straight up but today he sure did.) While we were out, we picked up stuff to make his cake. Back at home we made up his cake and had a shortened school day. We did get to read Happy Birthday Biscuit and Curious Geore and the Birthday Surprise , two of his favorite storybook characters. Kim then read бабушкин суп по субботам. (Her Russian reading has really declined... yet another unwritten post.) Then downstairs for some language arts and math. All the while a stack of presents on the dining room table kept Peter's attention. He asked once about being able to open them but did really well at waiting, once it was explained that he had to wait until Beth and Luke made it home from school and Dad was home from work. Finally everyone was home and he got to rip into them. After which it was off to McDonald's, after all if you are offered anything you want to eat for your birthday dinner what could be better? That evening Beth had her Middle School Band Concert so we went and enjoyed the music. (Sorry about the dark picture the flash on my little camera didn't reach the stage. Hopefully the video came out better. I haven't even looked at it yet.)

Finally it was cake time with "Mama's cars" racing across the cake. He kept trying to convince me that they should be his new cars since they were on his birthday cake. After all, Spiderman was even in one of the cars. In the end I "agreed" to his logic and reluctantly gave up "my" cars.

After singing Happy Birthday, Peter blew out the candles. He was so reved up about it he couldn't get a big enough/focused enough blow to get them out in one try. He kept blowing and got them all out. He didn't even need the trick candles we put on Kim's cake. He was beaming the whole time.

Then it was time to cut the cake, one of the things that we let the birthday kid do is cut their own first piece of cake. You should have seen his eyes when I handed him the "Big" knife. He didn't want to take it and politely asked me in English to cut the cake for him. I did make sure that he got the first piece. Then off to bed for the close of his very first American birthday. I think he is already thinking about his next one.

Climbing Wall

2009-03-04T23:55:00.000-05:00

One of the highlights of the school year for Luke is the climbing wall unit. He missed the first round in the fall since we were in Russia but this week climbing wall started again. He did really well and is a lot braver than I am. (Side note: Gym class, I mean physical education class, has really changed since I was in school and we had to try to climb the rope.)

The class started with going over all of the safety rules. Then all of the students got into climbing harnesses and helmets. They could then pick which activities they wanted to do first. Luke started on the climbing wall. He worked the belay team for a couple of his classmates then it was his turn to climb. He headed up and got stuck for a minute 2/3 the way up but figured it out. I was really proud of him for making it, although he climbed off the platform before I got the camera going.

After the climbing wall, Luke moved on to the zip wire. It is his favorite activity but, having been the parent volunteer for it before, it is not the parents' favorite. However, if you are looking for a good work out for the day, this is the station to sign up for.

Next week Mark is going in for Luke's last climbing wall unit of the year. It is always a lot of fun with a group of really great kids.

Guess Who just lost His Training Wheels

2009-03-01T16:13:00.007-05:00

This weekend was a monumental step for us. We are once again a training-wheel-less family. When Peter first arrived, the idea of balancing on a bike, peddling, looking where you are going and steering all at the same time was completely over loading. Mark was able to put training wheels on Peter's Bike which allowed him to learn to peddle and steer. Once he mastered these two skills, the rest of bike riding came very quickly. So ready or not Peter is ready to roll.

Meanwhile, as Peter is burning-up the road on his bike, the other 3 decided that it's a good day to try out their new roller blades they got for Christmas. I'm pleased to say that with all the unbalanced wheels that were rolling around we had no major wipe outs. I will say that if you are ever heading over to see us, watch out. I give no guarantees about from where wheels will be rolling or by whom.

Side note: Mom thought it was way too cold to be out (only 27 degrees!).. but that didn't stop them one bit. :)

Two Months Later... and a Shocking Lesson for Dad

2009-02-23T22:31:00.003-05:00

Around two months ago I put up a post called First Observations.... I think that maybe it's time to update this and let everyone know how things are progressing.

Kim and Peter still love their new home... but they still want their bedroom doors left open at night and want a nightlight left on. They are less adamant about the door and light now, but they still aren't ready to sleep in a dark room by themselves with the door shut. We have enjoyed sometimes talking over dinner about how our home and meals are different than the children's home. It seems that there was never anything good to eat there... at least there was no lasagna anyway.

Peter and Bandit are still very close friends, but Peter now yells at him in ENGLISH (yeah!)... but Bandit still doesn't quit licking him. Both kids are starting to use more English and they both are clearly understanding more English. At the same time, our Russian is also improving. We now speak a hybrid language that includes both English and Russian words in the same sentence!

Both Kim and Peter are doing pretty well about playing with the neighborhood kids. One thing we've noticed is that they really like to go outside to play. We often have to limit their outdoor play options because of the winter weather and they aren't always in agreement with this... but they ARE accepting our direction now... even if it is sometimes accompanied by muttering things under their breath in Russian.

From a socialization perspective, we've all made great strides... and STILL have a long way to go. The kids do MUCH better in new situations and with meeting new people than they used to. They will say "Hi" now without a fight. Their socialization at home has also improved as they are becoming more used to the structure of family life and family rules. They want the freedoms and opportunities that come with their new life, but at the same time, they don't want the responsibilities and rules that go along with it. This has been hard, frustrating, and inconsistent, but we have seen a great deal of change.

Beth and Luke are doing pretty well, but the changes in the family dynamic have been very hard on both of them. Luke has been displaced as the youngest and is trying to figure out where he fits. We ask him to function as if he were the second oldest, but he understands that Kim is older than he is. This is quite a dilema for him and he's struggling with his role at times. Beth is now in middle school and that's hard enough to go through without the added stresses at home. She sometimes has a hard time figuring out where she belongs as well. She grew-up so much during the Russia trip... faster than she should have. We're working to get her to lighten-up a little and to enjoy being 12 and not trying to be too old yet. Thank goodness this period is moving forward and we are all becoming more settled into our roles. I've heard it said that at 3 months you are 1/2 way to being a family... at six months you're 3/4 of the way to being a family and at one year you are 90% of the way there. This seems right so far... we'll see as we go.

There are still what I call "survival behaviors" that are left over from their previous life however. We've been pretty fortunate in that we really haven't had stealing... a real problem with some newly adopted older kids who learned to steal what they needed or wanted. We never really had much food hoarding, but we did have a little bit at first. Now we have trouble getting them to eat everything on their plates without excessive prodding sometimes. We do still have lying. Yes, all kids lie to their parents sometimes, but Kim and Peter were used to having to lie often and with skill just to survive. This is a behavior that we are trying to work on.

Kim will sometimes lie almost without thinking about it in order to avoid what she thinks will be work or to avoid getting scolded. For example, she sometimes bullies her brother into complying with her wishes by badgering him until he submits... or... as he has started to become more independent from her... she'll occasionally get physical and push, shove, or even hit him to make him obey. When we confront her about it, she tells us she did not hit him... and he'll usually back her up on it... probably we think because he doesn't want her to get into trouble. We're working to make it far more trouble to lie than it was to tell the truth. This is what all parents do with teaching their kids, but it's harder and takes longer when you are just starting this approach with kids who are older. Sometimes it's hard to remember that socially they are much younger than their ages.

Kim is VERY COMPETITIVE and she clearly is used to having her way with her brother. She absolutely hates it anytime that she thinks he is getting something that she isn't getting or worse... when he is more successful at something. She can't accept that he could beat her at anything and she will try to punish him if he does. Lisa saw this a few days ago at the AWANA Grand Prix at church. During warm-ups, Peter's car (a skateboard) was faster then Kim's (a Wii remote). She could not accept this, so she intentionally crashed her (rather sturdy) car into his (somewhat fragile) skateboard car and broke off the section with the back wheels. In fact, in the 15 minutes before checking the cars in, she broke his car TWICE. Lisa was able to glue the wheels back on, but his car was never faster than hers again. This is a behavior that we have seen several times. I don't want to give the impression that she is always a bully, because she certainly is not. She mostly looks after him and works to make sure that he is not taken advantage of. She clearly loves him as his sister (and as the only mother he had for most of his life)... but she's still just a 10 year old who's been raised without the benefit of a family to model appropriate behaviors. They have so much socialization to learn still.

As for the physical bullying, we obviously aren't going to let that continue. We've explained how people in a family don't hit or hurt each other, but this doesn't exactly ring true with them based on their past. Kim LOVES to talk with us after her bedtime bible story each night. The topic doesn't matter to her... she just loves the one on one attention... and the fact that if we are talking then she is delaying having to go to sleep. One of the topics we've started to discuss is her life before the orphanage. She tells that she doesn't know her biological father because he didn't like crying babies and he left. At least that is her understanding of why he left. We don't have any official info on him and all we know about her biological mother was that she was homeless, liked to drink vodka, made the children beg with her and was sent to prison for child neglect among other things.

Kim tells us that she knew Peter's father (who apparently stuck around for a while after Peter was born) and she didn't like him. She didn't like him because he used to hit them... a lot. She said that when Peter would cry as a baby, Peter's father would hit him to make him stop. She said her mother only hit them a little bit, so she liked her more. I believe this physical abuse story because of their reactions to me.

The first time that Kim and Peter were hitting each other I raised my voice and scolded them, telling them that families don't hit each other (even though hitting was what they knew as a normal part family life). I had intentionally used my SCARY BOOMING DAD VOICE to make it very clear that I meant what I said and that they needed to obey immediately. Usually the SCARY BOOMING DAD VOICE causes kids to stop what they are doing and pay attention. It had a different response with Kim and Peter. Instead of stopping and being sorry for what they had done, they both dropped to the floor shaking terribly, curled up into a tight ball, covered their heads with their hands and arms and began crying. They were adopting the posture that results in the least damage and pain when you are about to be beaten. They had experience in how to take a beating and it was very clearly a learned behavior... a well conditioned response that was now automatic. It was done in unison and without any communication with each other. These kids obviously knew what it meant to be beaten... more than once. I was speechless, shocked, and absolutely crushed all at the same time.

They were afraid of me... my kids were genuinely and completely afraid of me in that moment... afraid that I would be like the other men in their lives in that I was going to beat them in my (faux)anger. What a painful and tragic lesson for me. Now I understand why the judge asked me in court why these children shouldn't fear me. I had to very gently explain that I will NEVER hit them... that we are a real family and families don't hurt each other like that... no matter what. They seem to be less frightened now, but you can tell that they want to avoid punishment for themselves and for each other... and if that takes lying, then they won't hesitate to do so. Sometimes we need to understand WHY they do the things that they do before we can help them to move on. We still have so much to learn...

Peter, Peter, How Old Art Thou?

2009-02-21T20:50:00.001-05:00

We have a dilema. Peter's birth certificate says he will be 9 years old around 2 weeks from now. We're not so convinced that this is correct.

We knew that he was small, so that alone isn't it. He is roughly in the 8th percentile for height and weight for 8 year olds. His head circumference doesn't actually even make the charts, but there are things that probably explain that. Interestingly, he actually weighs HALF as much as Luke who is just 6 months and 6 days older. Could the REALLY poor nutrition and utterly horrible homeless life he lived pre-orphanage explain his size... almost certainly. But still, something isn't quite right... particularly given that Kim, who had the same environment, is thin but fairly normally sized for her age (10 years old).

Peter's size is pretty comparable to a five year old or small six year old... but so is his behavior. Yes, orphanage kids are socially behind, but Peter really enjoys the things that six year olds enjoy. His mannerisms make you think of a kindergartener or young first grader. His voice is that of very young boy. He just doesn't "Feel" eight (almost nine).

We wonder if we might understand why he seems so far off when his sister does not. We think he might really be six and we have some reasons for thinking so. Kim and Peter lived in the orphanage for just over two years. According to their records, it looks like their ages were estimated at that time. Kim was declared to be eight and Peter six when they entered the orphanage. When we ask Peter if, when he was 5 if he knew he was 5, he says no. Kim says they never had a birthday when they lived with their mom.

When we asked the director of the orphanage about the ages of kids there, she said the home was for children aged SIX to 18 and they had 80 children there. SIX to 18! When Kim and Peter went to live at the orphanage, they would have been 8 and 6 respectively (assuming their "paperwork ages" are correct). The more that we think of it, it seems to us that Peter was probably FOUR and not six at that time. If he had been officially four, he would not have been able to live at the same childrens' home as his sister. Seeing how dependent he was on her, we think he probably would not have survived being apart from her. Hence, we believe that his age was listed as SIX and not four in order to keep them together in the same orphanage.

Is this too far fetched? Maybe not. As part of his medical exam, we asked for a wrist X-ray to be taken when they did his chest X-ray. A wrist X-ray allows for the estimation of age based on skeletal development. Peter's "bone age" came back as..... Six years and zero months. When we re-adopt the kids in a U.S. court in a few months, we'll ask that his birthdate be legally changed to make him two years younger than he is officially listed right now. We'll need to convince our physician to write a letter in support of this, but we think it's reasonable. So, in two weeks or so, we'll celebrate Peter's 7th birthday.

Of course, we have to be concerned that he might really be eight and about to turn nine. If that is the case, some good nutrition will help him catch up... like some of our friends have discovered with their adopted daughter.

American Hair Cuts

2009-02-17T21:38:00.007-05:00

Beth and Luke had the day off school and all the kids could use a hair cut (and even Mom too.) So we packed up and headed out. Here is the before and after pictures.

At home before the hair cuts.

Beth and Kim were so ready to get their bangs out of their eyes. I was ready to have Kim move beyond the "orphanage bowl cut" that is so common for the girls in orphanages. It is amazing how much healthier and thicker her hair looks and feels with it trimmed up. Her hair has a nice shine now with all the split and uneven ends cut off (and more protein in her diet). Beth was able to feather in the half of her bangs that she has been growing out. So she was pleased to finally have them as part of the hair style and not just this section that was to long to be bangs but to short to fit with her hair. (Although I'm not sure I like her new cut, it makes her look far to old.)

Peter kept saying he didn't want his hair cut. With all the medical tests and particularly some problems with a dentist (this is a whole nother post once we are calmed down and ready to give prewarnings to other adoptive parents but we have to deal with it first), I wasn't going to push it. Luke went next although he was the one in the group that needed the cut the least. Then while I was getting mine cut the kids convinced Peter to get his cut. He sat there white as a ghost and ready to spring up at the least little thing. (He doesn't trust new places). He was scared to death but he lived through the hair cut. It really looks good on him. He had had the typical boy orphanage cut of buzzed tight but uneven for most with fringe left a little longer all around the edge. He now has it trimmed up around the edges and I had them leave most of the length that he had grown out on the top.

I may be a little partial but I think I have a pretty go looking bunch. I think you'll probably agree.

Sporting the new dos

Where does Papa go each day?

2009-02-11T17:57:00.005-05:00

With life starting to settle into a routine, Kim and Peter are wanting to understand more about different parts of the routine. We had driven them by Beth's and Luke's School (and even took them to Family Fun Night ant Luke's School) so they knew where they went each day. But they didn't know where Papa (who is now becoming "Dad") went each day. We decided to have a lunch date with Dad at the "Universitet".

We took Dad out to Bob Evans (where they have picture menus) then went back to The University. While driving around Kim was very impressed at how HUGE the University was. We went back to Mark's office to meet a couple of co-workers and see Dad's office. Lots to see and touch in the office but it was Mom that knocked down a whole line of award plaques on top of the filing cabinet. Kim and Peter both scored a piece of candy out of the candy jar then it was time for Dad to head off to a meeting.

It was an enjoyable outing for all that where involved and another piece of the puzzle of Kim's and Peter's new life now became real.

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-01-23T15:36:00.006-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving! No, we are NOT crazy... well, OK, we just adopted two kids so maybe we ARE crazy, but wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving is not a sign of our insanity. You see, one of the things that most bothered Beth and Luke about our trip to Russia was that they had to miss Thanksgiving. It's not a holiday they celebrate over there... even though we sort of celebrated a little bit at Kentucky Fried Chicken in Stavropol. We promised the kids a real Thanksgiving feast with all the trimmings sometime after we got home.

Since Mark and the non-homeschooled kids had Monday off for the MLK Jr. Holiday, we decided that it would be a good day to have our belated Thanksgiving. Part of the tradition is Beth making pies (she is GREAT at making pie!) and she wanted to try out her new apron and ovenmitt from Grandma. She helped teach Kim to make cinnamon roll cookies with the leftover crust. We cooked a turkey (or Bolshoi Chicken as Peter and Kim understood it). We found a good Thanksgiving story and explanation online that we translated into Russian using babelfish's webpage translator. We looked at a photo of turkey... turns out it isn't just a big chicken afterall. Most importantly, we shared this opportunity to thank God with some very dear friends. The Canary's joined us and a great time was had by all... 4 adults and 8 kids (yes we ate in the dining room on the good china and no, there were no spills... much to Bandit's dismay). Kim really enjoyed having two year old Erin over to play with. She hasn't stopped talking about it. All four of our kids REALLY enjoyed the turkey and Kim, Beth and Luke also liked the stuffing... not Peter... seems we ruined his hleb (bread) by putting stuff in it.

We may have to celebrate Thanksgiving a lot more often! We have so much to be thankful for... and who doesn't love the smell of turkey?

спасибо

2009-01-22T14:59:00.006-05:00

I am very late in saying this (something about being the Mom of four, I don't know where the time goes) but I want to say a great big спасибо (Thank you) to so many people in the Russian community that I have had the opportunity to meet.

Let me explain: I have been going into the Russian markets for about a year now. I'll go in and ask what this foods is or what this means or how to say something. I have come out with recipes, full documents translated (when I was just hoping for help to find one piece of information)and phone numbers with offers of assistance in translation. I have been encouraged and Kim and Peter have been warmly welcomed. I thank each of you that I have met.

I also want to thank some of you that I have never meet. You see my father-in-law works with a couple of ladies with Russian heritage. When they heard that we were in Russia to bring the kids home, they gathered up a large selection of Russian foods so the kids would have some familiar foods. They even found two birthday cards in Russian for Kim's birthday (Dec. 20 just a week after landing in the U.S.)

Then this last time my in-laws came to visit they brought bags of cloths for Peter and a stack of books written in Russian from this same lady. Some of the books are ones that she brought over from the Soviet Union when she immigrated thirty years ago. Kim has really enjoyed having access to literature written in Russian. I encourage her to read aloud to Peter on a regular bases. I am hoping that this will help her and Peter maintain their Russian language and that she will maintain her ability to read it. The picture below is Kim reading one of the books they were given.

One final спасибо to each of you. - Lisa

New addition: We have also found that our library system has a few books in Russian.

Fitting In

2009-01-18T17:54:00.006-05:00

OK, OK, we get it... we've been woefully negligent in putting up posts. In our defense, integrating a family takes a lot of work... and time... and energy... and patience. And.... we now have FOUR kids with Webkinz accounts... do you really think that Lisa and I are even able to get online anymore? We've been struggling with some issues and we'll blog on that soon. In the meantime, it has been fun to watch Kim and Peter begin to join-in with the neighborhood kids. Here is a video from last week when the kids went sledding on my neighbor's hill. First up (I mean first down) is Peter on the snowboard... then Luke on the disc... then Kim playing bowling for brothers.

Post-adoption Medical Examinations - The Bad, the Worse, and the "We can live with that"

2008-12-28T09:05:00.002-05:00

When you adopt in Russia, you are supposed to be given the child's medical records, their "diagnosis" and you actually sign paperwork in Russia on your first trip that says you have been given these things, that you understand them completely, and that you agree to pursue the adoption anyway. On your second trip, the judge asks you about the medical records and diagnosis and asks if you understand them and if you are prepared to deal with the medical conditions. You had better say "Yes" if you want to be given custody. Our local adoption clinic does "pre-adoption visits" where they will go through these records with you and explain them from the view of Western Medicine (which is VERY different from the view of Russian medicine).

We had one problem... we NEVER received ANY of the medical records of our kids until AFTER the second and final day of court. On our first trip, the orphanage director called the doctor into her office and she explained (or at least our translator told us) that the kids were healthy, that they had physicals on such and such a date, and that they had cognitive and social delays that are typical of orphanage kids. We received this verbal explanation and the chance to ask questions, but we received NO ACTUAL PAPERWORK about their medical history (even though russian law requires it.).

On the second trip to Russia, we again met with the director and the doctor before court. Again we heard about recent physicals, about cognitive and social delays (but the director told us how smart Kim was and that she was no longer delayed and had "perfect memory"). This time we were given more specific diagnoses... "cerebral asthenic syndrome" for Kim. They also explained that Peter has a "problem" with his mitral valve in his heart, but that it is common for children and not an issue. This was the first time we had heard of this one. Had I known of this, I would have brought my stethescope and listened to the murmur myself. They told us nothing else.

AFTER the adoption was final and we had the kids, we received their paperwork to take to the doctor in Moscow who would do the physicals for their immigration visas. I read through the translations and learned a few "interesting" things that were NEVER discussed with us. They had orthopedic concerns about Peter's knees. He is VERY knock-kneed (genu valgum for my students who are reading this)... I wonder if he might have had rickets given his tooth issues and the knee deformity. The kids tell us that they never had milk in the orphanage. We also learned that both Kim and Peter's previous TWO Mantoux tests were 15 and 12 mm respectively. I recognized this one immediately. The Mantoux test (aka PPD or tuberculin test) is the skin test for Tuberculosis and readings of the size that the kids had means that the tests were positive. This was NEVER mentioned to us at any time before the adoption. Oh crap. Now what? Were they even going to be able to enter the United States? They had chest X-rays at the Moscow medical exam and were cleared to enter the U.S. I have these X-rays and they both look pretty much fine. Unlike X-rays in the U.S., the patients' names are written on the printed X-ray with a Sharpie instead of included in a label in the X-ray itself. If you wanted to, you could take an old X-ray image, print it, and write someone else's name on it. We were not able to accompany the kids for the X-ray and I'm not entirely positive that the X-rays I have are actually of my kids. I'll just say that they are certainly not as clear as the X-ray we had at the adoption clinic in the U.S. We absolutely feel that we have been done a major injustice by not giving us medicals or disclosing their contents. I don't know that our decision to adopt would have changed, but we would have been in a position to do some research and to be prepared... just as the court required us to be.

In the U.S. our local children's hospital runs an international adoption clinic. We had our appointment pre-scheduled for less than a week after we returned. It is a two step process. Day 1 (Friday) the kids have a physical exam, a developmental exam, and we spoke to a nutritionist. The kids had blood drawn for a battery of tests (vaccination immunity, common genetic diseases), given stool sample jars, and the kids were given (another) skin TB test. The nurse did not do a very good job of explaining WHY the kids needed this when we already had positive tests on them in Russia. All she could explain was that we can't trust the Russian tests. This was hard for us, but not too hard (emotionally) for the kids. They are used to suffering through this test and it was almost as if it was no big deal to them. (and what is one more set of scares?)

Over the weekend, the kids had VERY POSITIVE result to this test. At one point, Kim's little arm had swelling from the test that was wider than her arm had been before. Both kids' swollen red, itchy patches from the test blistered... not just swollen, red and hard... they actually blistered... a lot. They both said it did not hurt (they are very Russian), but it did itch. This was nothing new to them, but it was REALLY hard on us, particularly on Lisa who felt like she allowed someone to hurt her kids for no good reason.

On Monday, we had the second part of the clinic process... this time at the hospital in downtown Columbus. The kids' arms were looked at to read the TB test (both were clearly positive for TB... Although that long after the test they didn't look bad at all, compared to the previous two days.) We had brief hearing tests, and we spoke to a developmental psychologist about the kids transition so far. Because both kids had positive skin tests for TB, they both had to have chest X-rays.

The physician did a much better job of explaining why the kids had to have the skin test despite their history of a previous positive. We weren't crazy about the explanation, but at least we understood a little better. In Russia, they often give kids an immunization (BCG) for tuberculosis to try to prevent it (TB is rampant in Russia). This immunization DOES NOT actually prevent TB infection, but it seems to limit the spread of the disease in your body once you have been infected. Once you have this immunization, your TB test will always produce a positive swollen spot. They had to re-do the test to 1) know what strength of TB test is done to make sure it was correct and 2) read the size of the spot to know if it is really TB or just the reaction to the previous immunization. Both kids were positive for TB. The X-rays showed Kim to have no active infection. Peter's X-ray showed a couple spots that were not clear enough to rule out active infection... so he had to have a chest CT (CAT Scan)... and he had to wear a mask in the hospital until he was cleared. The mask absolutely terrified him and we had his biggest meltdown ever.

The CT was scheduled for later in the afternoon, so we were able to take the kids out of the hospital and bring them back. We had lunch and then Kim stayed home with Beth and Luke while Lisa and I took Peter back for the CT. Peter decided that he could wear his mask if Dad wore one too. So, with us both donning our masks, we went to radiology, where we had to stay in the special isolation waiting room (they have to buzz you into the room). We had the CT and were able to have a head CT also (it was to look for anything that might explain Peter's small size and was already scheduled for another week away anway... killed two birds with one stone). Peter's CT was fine... no active TB. Because both kids have had previous exposure / infection, both Kim and Peter will have to take a daily antibiotic for the next 9 months... no fun. They are not contagious and are not at any risk, but the treatment will reduce their risk for a future recurrance of TB (happens in up to 10% of folks who have been previously infected).

As I am writing this, the phone just rang.... it was the health department... you remember the "Ya Hachoo Kaka" post?... the samples were positive for Giardia. Looks like maybe another antiobiotic for a few days. They wanted to follow up to find out where our kids came up with this... the fact that it was an adoption solved their concerns. I wonder what the blood tests will have to say when they come back...

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T10:44:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas to everyone. You should have seen the kids faces for their first American Christmas. Even seeing that Santa was over Greenland (Norad Santa Tracker) on Christmas Eve sent them scurrying to get to bed so he could come. It was all pretty wonderful.

Ya hachoo kaka!

2008-12-22T23:41:00.007-05:00

Do you remember, back when you were a kid, when you thought "I'll never say that when I'm the parent"? You probably had in mind something like "Because I said so" or "Because I'm the Dad, that's why". I had a few of those in mind, but this weekend I came across a phrase that I never imagined that I would say. "Ya hachoo kaka!" I spent much of the weekend saying it, saying it in funny cartoon voices, singing it, singing and dancing it, etc... all to roaring laughter from everyone in my family. You see, "Ya hachoo kaka!" translates as "I want poop!". How very dignified of the tenured college associate professor in me. My students would be proud.

At Kim and Peter's preliminary visit at the International Adoption Clinic on Friday we were given four little bottles for each of them for stool samples to check for intestinal parasites, etc that we were to bring to our next appointment on Monday. We were to collect two stool samples from each child and put some into two bottles for each sample. We were given little trays to catch the "precious material" and the lids of the bottles have built in little spoons to... well... you get the idea. The nurse explained what we were to do and the translator told the kids. Boy did their eyes get BIG at that one. The nurse commented that don't be surprized if they try to hold it in all weekend now that they know you have to collect it.

So, we went home and I asked if they needed to use the bathroom and I held up one of the little trays. I received, in unison, a scared little "Nee Hachoo" (I don't want to). So we waited. I asked again later... again a very small "Nee Hachoo". OK... this isn't going to be all that easy. To break the seriousness and fear, I spent the rest of the weekend asking in VERY humorous and animated ways so that they laughed instead of panicked. Who needs dignity?... I needed poop. They really laughed at my chardes attempt at explaining that they didn't want the doctor to have to take it out of them. Eventually, my efforts paid off (I can't believe that I'm actually proud of this). It took a couple rounds of "back on the toilet" to get an adequate volume for Peter's first sample, but we succeeded. I've never seen a kid so proud and so paralyzed with laughter at poop. Good boy! After we dropped the samples off on Monday, Kim asked if I wanted any more poop. We both giggled and I told her "maybe later but not today".

Happy 10th Birthday...again!

2008-12-20T22:04:00.000-05:00

We've been a little behind in putting up a few posts, so bear with us. Saturday was Kim's 10th birthday... again.

As we mentioned in a previous post, she was 10 when we arrived in Russia for court and we thought her birthday was in May. The morning of our first court hearing they had located her birthrecord and her birthday was not in May, it was December 20th. She was officially 9 again.

So... we had her first American birthday only 1 week after arriving home. We were planning on having more time (and more English) before birthdays. Only having a week and having very limited language and socialization made it clear that we were not yet ready for the big, invite all neighborhood kids, party.
We had a small, family only celebration instead... then we took the kids to Chuck-E-Cheese's... talk about insanity... it's crazy enough when you speak the same language. The kids all had a great time and played forever. The Russian kids are not very used to making choices, so at first, Kim could not decide which games to play. She used maybe 3 tokens in the first 25 - 30 minutes. After that, she settled in and was on pace with her American siblings before long. Note: If you are going to Chuck-E-Cheese's, sign-up for their mailing list. The coupons are TWICE as good as you will find in the newspaper or online.

The "big" gift that she wanted was an MP3 player. These were a VERY BIG status symbol in the orphanage. The kids who had them mostly had old cell phones (no phone service) that doubled as players. We bought Kim an inexpensive player (not ready to invest in an iPod for her quite yet). She spent several days listening to the sample music on it and to the radio before she realized that I could download songs to it. She hasn't learned how yet, so I get to choose her music options... if only that could last. The kids watched A LOT of music videos in Russia and they have both been known to burst out singing things like Brittney Spears "Womanizer"... not exactly what we approve of as music for elementary school children. Kim enjoyed her cake. She wanted Lisa to make one instead of buying one. We put those "self re-lighting" candles on it and the gag was a huge success.

Cedar Point Needs a Ride Called "Newly Adopted Kids"

2008-12-20T10:09:00.005-05:00

I always thought that I loved rollercoasters. I loved them as a kid. They are pretty much the only ride I'm willing to stand in line for at the amusement park. We even like playing "Rollercoaster Tycoon" on the computer. After the rollercoaster highs, lows, and quick blind-turns of the first week of having the kids home, I now have a different appreciation for rollercoasters.

Today marks one week at home and it is Kim's 10th birthday. This week has seen a lot of very good moments and a few that have been, well, less than very good. On Thursday night we were ready to pull our hair out in frustration with two kids who seemingly had no interest in communicating, no interest in respecting others, and absolutely no interest in helping with even the most miniscule tasks that we would ask of them. They were beligerent, disrespectful, stubborn, and impossible. After Lisa put them to bed even before Luke and I got home from Upward Basketball, she and I sat down and wrote them a letter (using a free online translator... it takes a while at 500 characters per translation). We explained that we were being unfair to Beth and Luke by having a double standard for what we are willing to accept in terms of behavior. It was unfair that we sit and watch Luke trying to communicate with the new kids in his very rudimentary broken Russian but they never seem to try to communicate with any of us using the few English words that they have learned. We were pretty much ready to cancel Kim's birthday and withdraw as many priveledges as it would take to get them to start moving in the right direction. We were going to give the letter to Kim after we returned from the doctor on Friday. We felt at our wit's end... then there was Friday.

On Friday, Kim and Peter had their appointment at the international adoption clinic through Nationwide Childrens' Hospital in Columbus. It was held at their Westerville "Close to Home" location on Cleveland Avenue. We had a Russian translator provided by the clinic. The kids were examined by a physician who is very familiar with the medical issues of internationally adopted kids. We spoke to a nutritionist who gave suggestions for the kids who are both pretty small. We had some time with a physical therapist who did a developmental assessment to let us know if and where the kids were behind. The kids also had to have new TB tests (even though we know their test results from the autumn in Russia) and blood tests. The kids were really good about the TB tests (which are kind of painful and burn a lot when you are getting them)... no tears. They were scared about the blood tests, but then realized that they hurt less than the TB test and we were fine. The kids think that it is hillarious that we were given trays to take home to catch their poop and little bottles to put it in for more tests.

The kids absolutely could not have been much better for their medical exams and Peter was not even shy or withdrawn at meeting new people... we were shocked. Afterward, we stopped by the library to pick up 4 of the 48 Columbus Metropolitan Library's book that are in Russian. We were ready for an all out battle after Lisa's previous experience. Instead, they were eager and cooperative. They even volunteered to carry books that were for someone else. Again, we were shocked. We had to stop for gas ($1.48 per gallon, woohoo!) and they would have to sit patiently in the car. They don't do patient very well... but they were happy and we had no problems. We had to stop by the grocery store for more milk. We have had a battle EVERY time we have gone to a grocery store because they want toys and candy and have thrown a fit. No battles this time. They accepted our gentle "no toys" or "we have that at home" without ANY resistance. Again... shocked. We were so pleased, we even went to McDonalds for lunch with them. It's the first time since we had custody to have no issues at a restaurant. At home, they eagerly jumped into their schoolwork and we learned that Kim was excited to have books to read. They actually helped, A LOT, with finishing up the Christmas decorations. Peter was very proud to help me with the lights. Afterward, we introduced them to playing Wii. Peter loves Wii boxing (I wonder if it's the first time he's ever fought without getting the crap kicked out of him... he has lots of scars and old bruises). The boys rooted for the boys and the girls for the girls. It was great. We absolutely could not have had a better day with them. We never showed Kim or Peter the letter. Welcome to the Rollercoaster.

First Observations...

2008-12-17T13:52:00.009-05:00

We've now been home for just over 3 days and we're starting to settle into routines. Beth and Luke go to school and Kim and Peter have "schkola" in the morning. We are home schooling the adopted kids at least until they have passable English language proficiency. I'm still on vacation this week, although I did go into the office anyway yesterday for the afternoon to attend an important meeting and to put out a few fires.

A few observations so far. DISCLAIMER: I will not acknowledge any of these observations in a few weeks or months when it becomes clear that I am completely wrong and must have been an idiot to think any of this...

... Kim and Peter love their new home and all of its treasures. They think their bedrooms are awesome... but they both want a light left on at bedtime. Neither had any problems with the dark during our time in Russia... but then again, they were sharing beds with others and may have found comfort in this. Their cool new bedrooms are still a little foreign and scary at night.

... Bandit and Peter are becoming fast friends. In the morning when I get up to wake Luke for school, Bandit wants out of our bedroom. He immediately pushes Peter's door open and jumps on the bed and starts licking his face. Peter giggles and yells at him in Russian. Bandit (sometimes called Banchick or Bandeek) doesn't know Russian... so he just keeps on licking until I rescue poor Peter.

... Kim is going to be Queen of the Neighborhood kids in no time. She likes to direct them already... even though they don't know any Russian, she seems to communicate her wishes to them fairly easily.

... Both Kim and Peter have a lot of socialization to learn. In this regard, they often function like toddlers. The things that we normally teach our kids at age 3 or 4 about how to treat others and how to react in social situations are completely foreign to them. They do not handle introductions to new people very well at all. They look stern, act pouty and what we would consider to be disrespectful. They turn away, won't speak, and resist all attempts to get them to say hello. They do warm up in a few minutes once you become familiar, but until then don't be offended. They are still overwhelmed in such situations. We've been debating about whether and how much to venture out during the holidays to see friends and family. My folks have a big family gathering next weekend and we've also been invited to join some friends for a trip to Roscoe Village for some of the festivities. There is also Kim's birthday coming up on Saturday. All of these pose socialization challenges that we aren't sure how to handle yet. I'm not sure the kids are quite ready for functioning with others yet... we'll see how it goes.

... the kids seem to have this notion that once you are in America all you have to do is play games and enjoy toys all day. It's been a bit of an eye-opener for them that we expect to have school time, "help Mom and Dad with house duties" time, and then have playtime.

... We're starting to figure out roughly where the kids schooling has left off for Math. Kim is fine with addition and subtraction of single digits, not sure yet about multiple digits. She has some basic notions about multiplication, but is not yet proficient in it. Peter on the other hand had just started school this fall in Russia (at age 8). He is not able to do single digit addition unless you have pictures showing how many things are there so he can count them all. In terms of language, Kim is able to retain the vocabulary we are working on with her, but she is hesitant to use very many English words in conversation yet. Peter can point out things when we say the Engish word, but he can't yet come up with the English word when we point to things. We also wonder about his hearing a little bit. He wants everything very loud and seems to struggle to hear the sounds in English words (hence it's Bandeek instead of Bandit). We have their medical exams on Friday so we'll know more then.

... Both Kim and Peter are small, but Peter moreso than his sister. Luke (age 9) wears size 12 (but he's always been a big kid). Peter is just over 6 months younger and wears size 6. Size 6 slim pants fit him in length, but are about 4 inches too wide in the waist. It's interesting to see Luke and Peter side by side.

... Beth and Luke are trying to get back into the swing of things at school. Beth had a choir concert last night and did a great job despite missing the past three weeks of practice. She also a little slower and less accurate with playing her clarinet. Luke is loving the fact that he can go back to school... especially to Math class...he loves Math.

... Kim and Peter seem to have more struggles with Lisa and than with me... especially Kim. We all have our share of communication and culture frustrations, but Kim gets much more defiant with Lisa. When she's "testing", she won't even let Lisa finish saying her name before she pulls out the trusty "Nee Pahneemahyoo" (I don't understand... said with a lot of attitude to heighten the full effect). We have a couple of battles per day... nothing excessive mind you, but enough to be frustrating. We are using the translator on the computer, but that only works when Kim is willing to meet us half-way... there are times when she is not. I don't know if her battles with Lisa are a function of Lisa having less Russian language proficiency than I do (not that I have much) or it's more likely that she sees herself in competition with Lisa for serving in the mother role for Peter.

... part of Peter's delays are explained by (or are at least magnified by) Kim's attempts to do everything for him. Her motivations are good... except when she pushes him aside because there is something fun or desirable and she wants it (like the computer). Anytime there is anything that is not very easy, she tries to intervein for him. She tells us (and him) that he's too small, or that it's too hard for him. I think this has become a self-fulfilling prophecy in that he quickly gives up. We have to work very hard to keep her out of the way and to show him that he CAN do things for himself. He is not going to progress and grow until he believes that this is true.

... Overall things are pretty good and the kids are doing well, these are just the common hurdles that adoptive kids face and that frustrate adoptive parents. At least we have not seen any signs of reactive attachment disorder (Thank Goodness), nor have we had any stealing or hording. Mostly we are progressing just fine... especially for just being together for just over a week. Hopefully next week we'll even see some progress on these... and discover lots more things to work on.

Home Again, Home Again

2008-12-15T15:04:00.006-05:00

We thoroughly enjoyed taking yesterday off from blogging and off from everything else too!

We arrived back in Columbus around 8:30pm on Saturday night... exhausted. Our trip from Moscow included a 12 hour flight to Atlanta where we had a 2 hour layover before our flight to Columbus. I spent half of the Moscow - Atlanta flight with my pants soaking wet after Peter accidentally dumped his Koka-Kola in my lap... oh well, I guess I'll have plenty of time to dry out now. In Atlanta, we needed every second of the layover. Once we made it through passport control (using the US citizens line), we had to claim our luggage and go through immigration and customs. The flight back from Moscow might as well be called the adoption shuttle because there are always so many newly adopted children on it. We spent time speaking with quite a few families while waiting to board. Mostly people are adopting young toddlers, but there were a few families with older children like ourselves. There were probably 25 adoptive families on that plane, maybe more. With so many children to process through immigration, it is not the fastest of processes. We BARELY made it through in time for our connecting flight. We had to take the tram in the Atlanta airport from terminal E to terminal B and then run for it. Of course you could guess that our gate was literally the last gate. Picture us trying to run through the airport with four kids... two of whom don't speak English. Lisa had Peter and I had Kim. I'm not entirely sure that Peter's feet actually hit the ground in terminal B. He mostly flew behind Lisa like a kite. The agent at the gate knew who we were as we sprinted up, out of breath, to ask if we made it. He asked how we had liked Russia and that they were holding the plane for us guessing that we were delayed in immigration. Once on the plane, the stewardesses brought out bottles of water for us as we were still breathing pretty hard at that point.

The kids were asleep almost before we were off the runway. It was less than 90 minutes and we were on the ground in Columbus. At the baggage claim, we were warmly greeted by our dear friends the Canary's who had made a banner (in Russian) welcoming Kim and Peter. They brought our van to the airport for us as well and, God bless them, they had stocked our kitchen so we wouldn't have to go out right away. We were also greeted by another family from our church who have adopted three children from Ethiopia and have a really great blog about their experience. It was really great to see everyone and have such a nice welcoming, but you can see in the photo that Kim and Peter were pretty tired, scared, and overwhelmed. They warmed up pretty quickly however and were smiling and laughing in no time.

When we got home, the kids were in awe. They have seen many photos of the house and they knew that they each had their own bedrooms. The immediately had to run to their room and examine everything about them. After that, they had to tour the rest of the house. It was a lifetime of Christmas mornings all happening at one time. It was a little bit tough to get them to go to bed after a quick dinner of Soup (Thanks Sheri). They were back up at 3:00am turning on lights and trying to get the other kids up to play. It will take a few days to get their internal clocks adjusted.

Sunday was quiet. Grandma and Grandpa came down from Akron and brought our dog, Bandit, back home. It was cute that Peter spent most of the day calling him "Banchick". Kim also rode her bike. She was so excited about having a bike that was her own. She rides better than I would have guessed. Today, Beth and Luke went back to school and Peter and Kim started homeschooling with Lisa to learn English. We also took them to the grocery store... a little overwhelming, but kind of fun for them too. I installed a Russian/English keyboard on our computer and set up the Russian language support in Windows so Kim can type into the online translator. It is a big help... but we are limited by her ability to spell in Russian... this is a real limitation for a 9 year old. Once the neighborhood kids came home from school, Kim had to go ride her bike with them. Welcome to our new normal.

We are Home more to Follow

2008-12-14T10:38:00.000-05:00

On Our Way Home

2008-12-13T00:23:00.000-05:00

By the time you read this post, we will already be on our way home. We are so looking forward to seeing everyone again... after a few hours of sleep anyway.

We'd like to take a minute to congratulate Lisa's brother Don who is graduating today with his Masters in Engineering from the University of Alabama. We really wish we could be there to celebrate with you today, but, well... you understand. We think you'll be very pleased with a little item we picked up in Moscow for you to celebrate this day :-)

See everybody soon..........

Packing up and getting ready...

2008-12-12T12:04:00.006-05:00

Today was our last full day in Moscow. We had absolutely nothing on the schedule and that was nice. We slept in a little, had a leisurely breakfast (after Papa returned from the supermarket... we were out of milk for our cereal), and played in the apartment all morning. We've learned that we have to ration the computer because, heaven forbid, someone might have 2 minutes more computer time than someone else. This morining, it was almost exclusively Beth's as she worked on more homework. The other kids were jealous of her computer monopoly, but not too jealous.

For lunch, we walked to a pizza kafe that has 50% off pizzas between 10:00 and 3:00 on weekdays. We had two pizzas, 3 garlic breads, and 6 soft drinks. The bill came to about $40... and that was with the discount. Praise God for our kitchen... it has greatly lightened our food bill in Moscow. I can't imagine how much more we'd be spending if we didn't have it. We are probably saving half on food by eating in the apartment. If you are considering whether to get an apartment or a hotel, I think we are VERY pleased that we went with the apartment. It was a lot cheaper, has a lot more space, is close enough to the embassy, Old Arbat, and Red Square that we can walk, and has let us start acting like a family and less like tourists. I would recommend an apartment on the western part of the central city (in the Old Arbat, New Arbat, or Embassy area) for the ease of getting around. Red Square was a 20 minute walk, the embassy was a 5 minute walk, Old Arbat was an 8 minute walk. In other areas, you will have to take the Metro or have a driver to go to most of the places that you will want to go.

Tonight, we had dinner in the apartment (a rice dish that the kids were familiar with and very fond of). We then started the great packing adventure. Everyone had to pack their own trinkets and souveneirs and help gather everything else. The kids all know that tomorrow is the big day and it clearly shows in their anxiety level. They can't sit still and can't seem to get out of each others way. Nerves. We just put them to bed so Lisa and I can finish the SERIOUS packing. Peter, who normally is out immediately, had his slowest falling-asleep session to date (In fact I thought he was out and he is back awake). His eyes were the size of dinner plates tonight. I wonder how much sleep they will get. I'll put the over/under at 3 hours.

Tomorrow will be a long day. We don't yet have the time the driver will pick us up... but were getting used to not knowing until the last minute. We're guessing it will be between 9:00 and 10:00 in the morning. Our flight leaves at 1:10 pm for Atlanta (on Delta). We get into Atlanta at 5:05 (almost 12 hours in the air). In Atlanta we have a two hour layover where we have to go through Immigration and Customs... it will be a little tight on time we think. We leave around 7:05 and get to Columbus around 8:35pm. All told, it will probably be 17 - 19 hours between leaving the apartment and arriving in Columbus. It will be 4:35am to us when we land at home, so the kids are going to be tired, scared, and cranky... hopefully less so if we can get them to sleep on the flight. Lisa was able to stop by a pharmacy and find some dramamine (actually, it's "Drahmeena" in Russian. I guess that it was quite an interesting game of charades with Lisa trying to order it at the counter in an all-russian pharmacy with no English on the labels or in the workers. I would have paid good money to see that.

It's time for us to close this chapter on our adoption and open the next one... the one we we all learn to be a family together.

Day 20 - The Final Checkmark and the Tseerk

2008-12-11T15:16:00.007-05:00

There was not a lot on the schedule today, but the few items were good. We hung a few pictures that were colored by the kids on our refrigerator to make the place more like home. We walked back down to Old Arbat street and nearly finished our shopping for our sourvenir list. It was colder than the kids would have liked and sometimes we aren't exactly quick to make choices, so I can't imagine that the shopping was much fun for the kids. We did find a very nice matryoska doll maker/seller who looked like Santa Claus. He gave us the best prices we've seen all week.

In the afternoon, our Moscow representative called. She had gone by the Russian consolate for our papers and was ready to deliver them to us. There was no need for me to go today, she just had to pick up the papers... nothing that requires a parent. She will forward nearly all of the registration paperwork to the appropriate folks. As she put it, it would be silly for us to carry it home just to mail it back to Russia. The part that we do get to keep is the kids Russian passports... complete with stamps indicating that they are registered and free to leave the country. The final checkmark on our list is now complete. I wish we were flying home tomorrow... but that is not to be.

This evening we went to the Moscow Circus (Tseerk) with our part-time guide, Vladimir (the son of our driver). He took us there via the Metro. We had used a couple Metro stations to cross the streets (tunnels under the 8 - 12 lane wide streets), but this is the first time we went into the deep section to ride the subway train. The Metro is actually quite deep and the escalator taking you down seems to go on forever. At 5:20pm, it is also completely crowded with people... we had to keep tight grips on the kids to prevent us from getting jostled away from them in the crowd. The Metro is really lovely and it is about the only thing left in Moscow that is not covered in graffitti. It was a short ride to the Circus and we had to wait outside for 15 or 20 minutes until they opened the doors. Before we left for the circus, Kim had asked (via the computer) if Papa could buy them a toy and some popcorn at the circus. She chose a pair of "spy" sunglasses that let you look behind yourself, Beth chose a flying dove toy that you attatch to the ceiling and it flies in a circle. Luke made a similar choice... except his is a dragonfly. Peter chose a fake pack of gum that shocks you when you try to take out a piece... how fun :-/ It was broken before the night was done, not a good investment. The circus was VERY GOOD and I would recommend it highly. It cost us 600 rubles each ($21 each) and I think it was worth it. Each of the kids liked a different act the best. They also liked having their picture taken with a tiger cub in the lobby. We got back to the apartment around 9:45 pm and put the kids to bed. Peter goes out extremely quickly. He can lay down and be out cold in 2 minutes or less... amazing. Kim and Beth like to giggle and teach each other new English or Russian words for 15 - 30 minutes. Luke usually goes out quickly... but not as quickly as Peter. I'm going to finish up this post and go to bed myself. Only one more night after this one. We'll leave you with some photos of the Moscow nightime skyline from our apartment windows... the view is quite nice.

An Evening in

2008-12-10T11:31:00.007-05:00

Four kids, three room apartment, freezing outside, days of rain so everything is MUDDY, the 172 piece Lego set (minus a handfull of lost pieces)losing its luster, and not wanting to restart the same movies again. How do keep the group busy? How about a good old fashion game of Hide and Seek.

Peter makes the game a bit more challenging. He can curl himself up and fit where you would never think to look for a person (like inside the cabinets).

PS The game is breaking up, all the realy good spots have been used. Any other cool ideas?

Visiting St. Basil's Cathedral and GUM

2008-12-10T09:09:00.006-05:00

This morning I went to the Russian Consolate to register the children. Lisa stayed in the apartment with the kids where she washed dishes and hand-washed more clothes. Suggestion to future adoptive families... bring clothes that are easy to wring out, will dry quickly, and don't have to be dried flat. We, on the other hand, brought lots of sweaters which are not good for any of these goals... but they are warm. Today it was a little colder (0 degrees C), but there was a strong wind and if felt much colder.

At the Russian consolate, our translator helped me prepare the papers and drop them off along with the kids Russian passports with US Visas. We will have them back tomorrow afternoon. At that point, we will officially be able to leave Russia... but our agency had us schedule an extra day in Moscow. We won't be leaving until Saturday.

We walked back over to Red Square this afternoon and arrived just in time for the hourly changing of the guard at their eternal flame monument. We went to red square to accomplish three goals. 1) Lunch at McDonalds. 2) Visit ΓΥΜ (Goom) and 3) tour the inside of St. Basil's Cathedral. McDonalds was a very good facsimilie of its American counterpart... the only real difference was that 4 happy meals and 2 Big Mac combo meals cost us over $30. Finding seats is also a challenge. When was the last time you shared a booth at McDonald's with 4 other parties throughout the course of your lunch? The kids were excited about McDonalds, but it was a bit of a struggle with them there as it has been at all restaurants. They just don't understand how it all works and they were very frustrated trying to make a choice of which meal they wanted. This whole "choices" thing is tough for them and making good choices is even harder. Goom takes up one entire side of red square (it's actually a rectangle and Goom is on one of the long sides). It is basically a mall. At one point I think it was one of the largest in the world... now it is basically a larger then most mall full of high-end designer label shops. It was beautifully decorated as the photos attest. The kids did not know what Goom was and didn't want to go there, but they had a nice time walking around inside. Kim went nuts with the camera in there.

St. Basils Cathedral is really impressive on the outside and we were eager to see the inside. Beth often comments that it looks like a toy on the outside. Inside, you can tour the first and second floors. Each of the onion domes houses a separate "church" dedicated to a different region of Russia. They have some impressive artwork there. Tickets were 100 rubles ($4) for adults and 50 rubles ($2) for kids. For a small fee (about $5) you can use your video camera. We videoed everything and I'm looking forward to watching it again AT HOME. Kim took lots more photos in St. Basil's.

Embassy Day

2008-12-09T23:02:00.005-05:00

Today we spent a quiet morning in the apartment for the most part. Breakfast was yogurt, fruit, and cereal. The kids had a lot of fun helping to make it.
Luke and I went to exchange a few more dollars into rubles and picked up a couple of Dr. Oetker's frozen pizza's for lunch. They were easy and cheap (by Moscow standards at least) and they weren't too messy. We didn't want food all over our clothes for the embassy visit.

We walked to the embassy since it is just around the corner. Since we could walk there, we did not have anyone from our agency with us. It was not a problem, the instructions that came with the appointment were easy and clear. Because we have U.S. Passports, we could go to the head of the line, in front of those with Russian passports who were waiting for visas. Inside, we went through security. They allow absolutely NO ELECTRONIC DEVICES at all. We THOUGHT we left all of our electronics in the apartment, but we forgot about the flashlight in Lisa's purse. We had to leave it with the security checkpoint (they are used to this, you can retrieve them when you leave).

Inside, we had to get a ticket, go the second floor to pay for the visas ($400 each child), drop off our ticket and receipt at the window and wait to be called. While we waited, one of the consuls came out and explained the USCIS process that we would go through once we get back to an American airport. We met a couple from Dublin Ohio waiting with us... small world (for those outside of Columbus, Dublin is one of the other Columbus Suburbs). When it was our turn, we all went up the window where the counsul had us sign a few forms, made sure all of our information was correct, and stressed again that NO ONE SHOULD OPEN THE SEALED PACKET before we give it to the USCIS officer in Atlanta. He also explained that once that officer stamps Kim and Peter's passport, they will officially become United States citizens. They will automatically have dual citizenship. They could not cancel their Russian citizenship even if they wanted to until they are 18 years old. After the interview, we had to wait to receive our final immigration packet. They say you will have to wait about a half-hour, but it was more like 10 minutes. Then we were done. One more GREAT BIG checkmark off of our list... the kids have visas. The last big checkmark starts tomorrow when I go to the Russian consolate to register the kids (our agency makes us do it here in Moscow before we leave... others let you do it once you get home).

In the afternoon (looks like evening because it gets dark so early here... we're pretty far north) we walked down to Old Arbat street. It is now a pedestrian street and is the tourist shopping area of Moscow. We bought several Matryoshka dolls and a few other souveneirs. We did some haggling and got reasonable prices. We will probably go back on Thursday or Friday to buy a very nice matryoshka and some other items for Kim and Peter for when they are older.

Turning 40... in Russia!

2008-12-08T22:11:00.007-05:00

Today is my 40th birthday. Never in my life would I have guessed that I would turn 40 in Moscow. Strange how things happen in ways that you would never have imagined. Lisa asked me what I wanted for my birthday on Sunday night. After a long day of travel on Sunday and a few meltdowns related to communication frustration, fatigue, and being scared of a new place, I jokingly commented that for my birthday, I wanted a peaceful day. I got it! We really had a wonderful day today. It has become clear that when the kids are stressed, frightened, tired, or frustrated about inability to communicate, they will respond by having a battle of wills. When they've been rested, understand what we need to do, and are in an environment that they have at least a passing familiarity with, they do pretty well.

Today we started with the medical exams for Kim and Peter. For those planning an adoption in Russia, THESE HAD TO BE PAID IN RUBLES and not dollars... exactly the opposite of what our agency told us. We were told to bring $100 for the exam for each child and that we should not exchange these into Rubles. At the hospital, our translator explained that the exam would be 2800 rubles for each child (this price is $100 and was expected... but paying in rubles was not). I had plenty of rubles... in the apartment. I had a few thousand rubles on me and I had my two new, crisp, $100 bills that I had already sealed in an envelope and labled "kids medical exams" before we left for Russia. I didn't have enough rubles on me and we found this out well after we had left the apartment. Fortunately, our translator was able to loan me a few thousand rubles to cover the difference. We exchanged my Ben Franklins on the way back so I could pay her back. I hate it when we plan and think we are prepared and then we look foolish because we were given bad information. Oh, I almost forgot... the cost of the exams also changed. Kim and Peter both also required a chest X-ray, so it cost us 6800 rubles instead of 5800.

The physician (Dr. Boris) was REALLY good with the kids. He was fluently bi-lingual and made the kids feel at ease. He explained that he would not poke them with any needles and he just needed to look for their tickle spots. Both passed their exams and X-rays, although Dr. Boris commented after looking at Peter's teeth that we will be buying our dentist a new BMW. Kim's only problem that he pointed out was that her Papa would have trouble keeping the boys away in a few years and he suggested that I go ahead and buy a shotgun now.

After the medicals, we stopped by the U.S. embassy for our translator to drop off the paperwork in preparation for our interview appointment tomorrow. The embassy is literally just around the corner from our apartment (5 - 8 minute walk). We can see it from our apartment window. While we were at the hospital, the driver also called his son (a university student who just returned from a trip to California) to get him to be our guide for a tour of the Kremlin later today. It was a pretty cheap guide... all we had to do was buy his ticket. Tickets for the 7 of us (2 adults, 1 college student with a discount, and 4 kids) cost just under 2000 rubles (just under $70). We bought tickets for the Kremlin grounds and for the Armory Museum in the Kremlin. We did not get the diamond house tickets. All that I can say about the Kremlin and it's cathedrals and museums is WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! We toured cathedrals where the Csars are entoumbed (saw one who died in 1341), the cathedrals were built before Columbus sailed for America. The armory museum is so named because it used to be the armory of the Kremlin. It is now a museum with artifacts from Imperial Russia (pre-revoulution) and it is AMAZING. I wish I could have taken photos, but I've already figured out what happens when you take photos in areas where they are not allowed in Russia. There were Coronation gowns from the 14th century, Crowns studded with thousands of diamonds, none smaller than 3 carats, chainmail armor, solid gold dishes, a diamond and ruby studded bowl for washing your dirty hands... The extravagant wealth of the csars is not something that we american's really understand. They flaunted it in front of peasants who were barely surviving. It's not that hard to understand the sentiments that lead to the overthrow of the csars. I'm trying to get Beth to write a post about the museum... she loved it. Lisa, Beth and I could have spent days going through it. Luke, Peter, and Kim liked parts of it, but it quickly became too much for them and they became bored.

Lisa made a nice dinner of roasted chicken (pre-roasted at the store, she just heated it up), baked potatoes, peas, bread, and a birthday cake from the store (bought without me being there). The roasted chicken was much like you would buy at home... except that it cost 3 - 4 times as much as at home. It was really nice to celebrate together as a family and do with smiles and cooperation. Kim even worked hard to keep me from seeing the "secret" cake in the fridge before dinner.

Travel Day to Moscow

2008-12-07T23:56:00.002-05:00

It's Sunday and we are in Moscow and (obviously) have internet again. It's nice to have the 100 Mbps connection that is included with the apartment... and even nicer that it appears to be stable. Posting from our own computer and not copying everything onto a memory stick makes this a lot easier.

We woke this morning at 4:45am, were picked-up from the hotel at 6:15, and we boarded the sahmalYOHT (airplane) for MAHskahvah (Moscow)at 7:40. This is the only flight to Moscow from Stavropol. There is a later flight from Mineral Water (about 2 hours away). Peter was extremely excited at lift-off. In the boarding area while we were waiting, he drew pictures of his flight... except that he seemed to have the impression that we were going to Moscow in a rocket and not a plane. As the plane started moving, he kept gesturing to his sister that we were about to lift-off like a rocketship would. I showed a more gradual take-off with my hands and he said he didn't want that, he wanted a blast-off. Sorry buddy... nothing I can do about that one.

The two hour flight was a little bumpy in our Russian made (around 1980?) aircraft. Neither Kim nor Peter had ever flown before. They both became airsick and we're glad we had grabbed air-sickness bags for everyone. Beth didn't look so good on the flight, but she made it through. Peter did not and Kim REALLY did not. We will be administering Dramamine or its Russian equivalent before our next flights.

We were picked up from Vnukovo airport a little bit after 10:00 and learned that we would not be able to check-in at our apartment until 2:00. The driver had another obligation, so we were dropped off at a cafe in front of our apartment building to wait... for over 3 hours... with 4 kids... 4kids who got up 2 hours too early, had a bumpy and nauseating flight and had not been able to expend any energy anywhere.... any guesses on how that turned out? I think they were glad when we left. We probably won't eat there again... not that we would be welcome at this point anyway... but the food was good. One of our Moscow representatives came there and went through a lot of paperwork with us... forms for the embassy, the children's medical exams, etc. It took me a good hour or more to do all the forms. During this time we also had lunch. Restaurants in Moscow are MUCH more expensive than those in Stavropol... around 70% more expensive in this case. We won't be eating out much here, even though this Uzbek restaurant was pretty good... again, the fresh bread was wonderful.

We finally checked into the apartment at 2:00 and the apartment representative went through everything with us, in English, answered our questions and did a nice job. It was a relief that this was done well. The materials in the apartment (for phone, internet, etc) are all in english and there is a 24 hour number you can call for questions or if there is a problem. We had to call because a lightbulb burned out... and because the door on our washing machine is missing. Yep... we (I mean Lisa) are still hand-washing clothes... now for six! I wring them and hang them on the drying rack... it's pretty big. The apartment includes free phonecalls to the U.S. if we can ever get them to work. No success so far... the apartment management is checking into it. The apartment is nice enough and has plenty of space. It has two bedrooms, one with a queen bed, one with a sofa bed and computer table. The living room has two sofa beds. This place could sleep 8 easily if needed... so we have plenty of sleeping space. The girls have the master bedroom, the boys the living room, and Lisa and I have the computer room (so I can blog when the kids go to bed). The apartment has a small but functional kitchen. No more having to eat out for every meal with kids who are either tired of eating out or don't have the social experiences to know how to behave at a restaurant. You can find apartments in moscow through Peace Travel Services at http://www.go-russia.com/. It took us three tries of booking apartments before we got one that was not rented, so try to get your apartment as soon as your dates are confirmed.

We walked to red square this afternoon and stopped by the supermarket on the way back. After dinner, the kids watched "Ice Age"... in Russian, with English sub-titles. It worked well for everyone. It was a very long and stressful day and it showed on the kids as the day wore on. We put them to bed early. Tomorrow, Kim and Peter have their medical exams. Tuesday we have our interview at the U.S. Embassy. Wednesday is at the Russian Consolate. Thursday we pick-up our paperwork from the Russian Consolate. Friday we could have flown home... but our agency said Saturday, so we are staying an extra day for no good reason. We have lots of comments about the info we have received from our agency, but we'll wait until we get home to organize those for the blog. We fly to Atlanta on Saturday around lunch time and we get home Saturday night around the kids' bedtime. We are going to be SOOOOOOOOOOO tired, but we are very excited (and very ready) to get home.

Good Night Stavropol

2008-12-06T08:04:00.001-05:00

We had hoped for a good LONG night’s sleep last night. The kids had other thoughts. With four kids sleeping in the same room of our two-room hotel “suite” (with 3 in a queen bed, one on a roll-away), as soon as one stirs, they all stir… Then they all go into the next room and jump into bed with Mama and Papa. It was actually kind of nice… except it was before 7:00 in the morning on a day when we had absolutely no time-commitments other than the breakfast bar (closes at 10:30 am). So much for sleeping in. On the positive side, we had a pretty good morning that turned into a pretty good day.

Today was Saturday, so there was a little more activity around the hotel and the shopping areas around it. After breakfast (the kids were VERY impressed at all the choices and the fact that they could have seconds if they wanted), we spent much of the morning in the hotel. The girls went over to the shopping area with Lisa to buy a few Stavropol magnets that Lisa will turn into a Christmas Tree Ornament (we get one for every milestone event in our lives… it’s fun to take them out every year and remember). The boys stayed in with me. They played computer games TOGETHER and it was great to see… sometimes it was English language games and sometimes Russian language games… like one of our favorites, "Pajamchick Sam" (we have some other Pajama Sam games at home). It’s actually really pretty neat to see games you know in a new language. We had lunch at the baked potato kafe (still one of our favorites… the staff all know us by now and they no longer cringe when we walk in the door). We really wanted to have Kim and Peter split a baked potato because we knew neither would finish one… but how do you have the new kids share and the old kids each get their own at such an early point in our family’s history? So we had two half-eaten potatoes when we were done. We had some mild hurdles today, but overall not too bad. I’d guess that there were maybe one third as many “nee hachoos” as yesterday and they were not as forceful. None were more than we were expecting nor ready for. We are already getting used to each other.

I’d really like to take a minute and both praise and thank Beth and Luke for their incredible patience with this. They’ve endured seeing two complete strangers horn-in on their special relationships with their parents. That has to be hard, but they’ve been a patient as possible and more than could be reasonably expected of any child. We have two very special kids in these two. I only hope that their new brother and sister can become something like them in this way. Beth and Luke “took a dive” in most of the 57 games of tic-tac-toe while we waited for lunch to be ready. It was cute when Beth didn’t know what to do when she was trying to let Peter win and it was her move. She had only 3 places to put her “X” left on the board and all three would win the game. Today, Peter learned to write his name. The kids all had to write their names on each game that they won. Kim could already do it before we arrived this time… she’s been practicing. Last night, Lisa and I discreetly went through the things they brought from the orphanage with them so see if there were any potential problem items and to learn more about the kids lives. Kim has a little notebook / journal in which she’s been drawing heart pictures and writing “Love Mama y Papa” for months. She also had a lot of our letters. She also had an old photo from 1988 that showed what appeared to be a group of schoolgirls about her age. This afternoon she took it out and pointed to the one that looked just like her and told me this was her old Mama. We gained a little bit of information about their birthmother from the court papers that we will be able to share with Kim and Peter when they are old enough to seek their history.

Tonight we packed up two weeks worth of stuff and got ready to travel tomorrow. All four kids are excited about it. We will leave the hotel around 6:15am and our flight to Moscow is at 8:00 am. The kids are all in bed and quiet now… it takes a little while to get them calmed down, but nothing unreasonable. We’ll have to get them (and us) up and moving tomorrow, so it’s time to say goodnight. It’s more than just Good Night to Stavropol, it’s goodbye. Goodbye to this city that we’ve come to know and no longer feel as awkward in. Goodbye to this hotel where we are going stir crazy. Goodbye to Alex and Vlad and the ladies at the front desk who’ve been very helpful. Goodbye to seeking alternatives to “fresh burger”. Goodbye to old lives apart and old hurts. Hello Moscow, here come the Merricks.

Family of Six - Day 1

2008-12-05T14:31:00.001-05:00

You know the drill…. No internet, no email… and blogger has been unavailable to us for 3 days now. We wonder if the site is being blocked in this region for some reason because we couldn’t view the pages. I tried using Mozilla Firefox instead of Internet Explorer and I could log-in to blogger, but when I tried to upload anything, I just got a blank page and was not able to see anymore blogger pages after that. We will have to wait until Moscow to post the last few days.

Today the waiting ended. It’s something we’ve been working toward for what seems forever. It was actually pretty brief and anti-climatic at the orphanage. We were picked up a little before 9:00 am and taken to the orphanage for the last time. We took clothes for the kids to change into that matched what had laid out for Beth and Luke to wear. We also took a couple bags of gifts for the orphanage and some flowers for the Director. She wasn’t there, so the kids left them on her desk. We were sent with Kim and Peter to their respective group areas to help them change. Lisa went with Kim and I with Peter. It was the first time any of us had seen Peter’s group area. Apparently Russian men must not know anything about how to help a boy change clothes. When Peter and I entered the group area, a group of 3 caregivers took his bag, pulled out his new clothes… piece by piece, inspecting each one. They must have passed muster because they all smiled and nodded. Then they helped strip him and change him. I tried to help, but mostly was bumped out of the way … the ladies know what they are doing and I might mess it up. I did get to help put his belt on him… barely. Lisa did well on guessing his sizes. The length of his pants was perfect. The waist was about 4 sizes too big, but the length was perfect. They’ll fit better after a few good meals. We then returned to the entrance foyer where there were hugs all around. Both of our kids had a small grocery bag that contained all of their possessions and a few gifts from friends. Peter had a new shirt in there… and some OLD slippers. Not really crazy about the smell from the old slippers, but I can’t get rid of them… Lisa says so and she’s the boss on such things. We took a couple of photos and then we left. One interesting note was the number of caregivers who came out to say goodbye, but not a single child. In fact, we saw fewer children today than on any previous visits. Not much fanfare to the goodbye ceremony… in fact, there was no ceremony, just a few personal goodbyes. The whole thing took about 15 minutes. We’re so glad we sent the cakes and worker gifts with the kids last night so that they could celebrate with their friends. There was no time or opportunity for such things this morning.

On the way back to the hotel, we stopped and met with our regional coordinator at an official building of some sort. We went inside and were issued the kids’ new birth certificates and their certificates of adoption. We had to sign several documents that we still have no idea what they actually say. We’re getting used to that by now. Our regional coordinator took all the paperwork and Lisa’s passport and left to get the kids’ passports made. We got them all back with two shiny red Russian passports around 4:00 this afternoon.

The day was a little trying on all of us. Kim and Peter had different responses to today than we had expected. We thought Peter would struggle and Kim would be very happy. It was the other way around. Peter kept smiling and talked like a magpie all morning… more than he ever had before. Kim took it very hard. She was very quiet and serious at the orphanage and then had an emotional breakdown back at the hotel. It turned out that she had a friend that she was not able to say goodbye to. She kept looking at her journal at a letter from her friend and her friend’s picture and crying. One of the ladies from the front desk of the hotel was kind enough to come translate for us a little so we could understand the problem. After a phone call to the friend to say goodbye, all was better… note quite great yet, but much better. The rest of the day was spent taking some photos and playing a little in the room. The kids are now QUITE SICK AND TIRED of photos. We probably won’t take many tomorrow. We did go skating at the Galleria for a final time.

It is obvious that the first few weeks are going to be difficult as we try to communicate with them and as they learn a lot of the social behaviors that we take for granted in family interactions, respecting parents, and out in public. Lets just say that dinner at a nice restaurant to celebrate was quite an adventure for two kids who have no idea how to conduct themselves at a restaurant. The kids have no concept of waiting… the food is ready at the orphanage before the kids come in. Not so at a restaurant… that had never dawned on us before. Peter stood up and yelled at our astonished waiter… I think he said something along the lines of “Hey, where’s my food?” I understood the waiter telling him that it would be around 15 minutes. Peter rolled his eyes and slunk back into his chair and pouted a little. He also liked to drink his tea from his spoon as if it were soup… with a loud slurp. So much to learn and so many opportunities to take advantage of. Today is the first day of a long and exciting journey.

The last day of waiting

2008-12-04T10:15:00.001-05:00

Today was day 9 of the wait…. I don’t know why I bother to keep posting that the internet in the room is still down and that we don’t have email. We’re sure you’ve all guessed that anyway by now… “Mehybee Toomahrrrrow”. Yesterday we even lost the ability to get onto Blogger, so we will be forced to post this from Moscow in a few days. I will back-date it so that we can keep this as a journal and have the dates correct. Because I'll post this after we have the kids, it will be legal to show you their photos.

We had another half-day with the kids. We started by spending a little quiet time playing in the room. After that, I explained to the children in my broken Russian that we wanted to buy them each a kniga (book) in Russian. Our favorite bookstand is located down the hill close to the open air market. Come to think of it, what does it say about how much time we’ve had on our hands when we have a favorite book stand in Stavropol Russia? Anyway, the kids understood (Ya paneemayoo), so off we went. We expected that they would like a nice book… at least we wanted nice books for them. Instead, they wanted the cheapest books at the stand. They are very cheap little (maybe 3” X 4”) books made from thin pressed cardboard. I pointed out the nicer, hardbound, gold-leafed children’s books. “Nee hachoo… Ya hachoo eta” (I don’t want that one, I want this one). We bought them each two of the cheap little books (10 rubles each… about 36 cents) not understanding why they wanted these … then they showed us why. These were small enough to be hidden in a pocket… if no one else knows you have it, you might be able to keep it. We convinced them to leave the books at the hotel. They don’t know it, but we also bought two nicer books of fairy tales for them the other day… in Russian of course.

While at the book seller, Kim asked about the “tort” (cake) we had discussed for her “groupa” (orphanage group) yesterday. She remembered. We guess that she probably went back and told the group about having a cake for them… nothing like bragging a little when you are about to get what so many of these kids want so badly. After yesterday’s experience at the open air market, we had intended to buy the cakes AFTER the kids went back to the orphanage today and we would bring them to the orphanage for Gotcha Day. I asked Kim if she and Peter wanted to go to the market and choose the cakes. “Da”! Peter also said an enthusiastic “Da”. So, despite our apprehensions, we went back to the open air market. Peter was a little stressed, but not nearly so much as yesterday. When we got to the cake seller, his reservations went out the window. He wanted the Flamingo cake (with the flamingo made of fruit on top)… so did his sister… after he wanted it. We get a very clear impression that normally her wishes would have taken precedent and he would have surrendered it to her without much of a fight. Papa said the Flamingo cake is for Peter’s group. She gave a little argument… but not much. Papa showed her that there was only one flamingo cake and she had to pick something else. She liked the heart shaped layer cake, so we bought it.
We also had Beth and Luke pick out a cake for our family to celebrate with tomorrow once we get back from the orphanage. My Russian must be getting better… I overheard a group of Babushka’s behind commenting to each other that three cakes for the children was bad… it sounded like they were a little disgusted that we were spoiling the kids. I didn’t explain that it was 3 cakes for A LOT more than 4 kids.

The cakes were clearly a HUGE prize. Peter INSISTED on carrying his. Papa wasn’t too thrilled with his level of caution in carrying a fancy cake… he was beating it to death against his leg as it swung in its bag on the ¾ mile walk… so Peter and Papa shared the job of carrying it. Basically, I carried it and he held my hand that was holding the cake. Compromise worked. Mom carried Kim’s (and ours) without incident. We also bought some flowers… some white roses and white mums. Very tasteful.

When it was time to take the kids back, we had a number of things for them to take to share… the cakes, flowers, a bag of marshmallows each, and some token gifts for each of the caregivers in their group. When we got to the van, the driver (no translator today) called the translator on his cell phone to have him explain that the driver could take the children, but not us. He had to go the hospital (to visit someone we think) and would not be able to come back to the hotel. Our plans for the kids celebrating with their friends were in jeopardy. The driver wanted us to just bring the stuff tomorrow. We debated and decided to send most of the stuff with the kids anyway. Good thing too… our translator called later to lay out the schedule for tomorrow. We will have less than an hour from when leave the hotel until the van has to be back here. No time to party there. We will take our regular orphanage gifts and the stuff we need for the kids (clothes, shoes, coats), give the gifts, change the kids (their orphanage clothes stay with the orphanage) and we will leave. Not much fanfare…

After the kids went back, we asked Beth and Luke what they wanted to do for our last afternoon as a family of four. We were to go ice-skating at the Galleria with them. I was able to avoid being on skates the last time… not this time. Luke didn’t wipe out as badly. Beth is the best skater in the family (Thanks Laura!). Mom only wiped out once. I didn’t wipe out at all… even though Luke nearly took me down in the final few seconds. I never knew I could do a pirouette on ice skates and live to tell the story. We went back to the shish-kabob kafe for a nice dinner. If you ever go there, go to the case and pick what you want instead of ordering from the menu. Your choices are better and you can more easily figure out what the “translated” menu is trying to say.

Kim's photo essay

2008-12-03T23:59:00.006-05:00

Day 8 of the wait… just one more day of waiting and then we can take custody of the kids on Friday. Still no Internet for regular use and no email. We’re sure glad that we only bought the 150MB wireless access package and not the 500 MB. We’ve used about 40 MB before it went down… nearly a week ago.

Today was much like the last two. We were able to get the kids around 9:30 in the morning, bring them back to the hotel, and then they had to return to the orphanage at 1:00. Today’s lunch was at our favorite ice cream cafe. Its name is Kafe Karamel, but we just refer to it as Kafe Mahrozhena (mahrozhena is ice cream). We had pizza and some ice cream. We’re learning to communicate better. We all understood when Kim kept asking if it was “fkoosna, da eelee nyet” (delicious, yes or no). Before lunch we walked the kids down to the open-air market and we were able to buy the girls some sweaters. We had told Beth and Luke that they could pick a souvenir from Russia and she wanted a sweater. We overestimated Kim’s size in the clothes we brought so she’ll be a little bit lighter on outfits than we had planned. We bought her sweater to supplement the wardrobe. Neither of the Russian kids was very comfortable at the market and both wanted to leave as soon as possible. We wondered if maybe we unearthed an old ghost in their memories. We did not stay very long.

Kim absolutely LOVES to take photographs. She takes out the camera and starts shooting whenever she can get her hands on it. Most of her pictures are pretty good, but there is also the occasional picture of nothing but blue sky… no clouds, no nothing but sky. We’re glad it’s digital and not film… the developing would be a fortune. She’s probably taken a hundred photos so far (note: Grandpa W will have someone who will keep up with him with the camera on trips and such). Here are a few of Kim’s photos of Stavropol. Her perspective is unique. There are lots more including several self-portraits that we can’t show until we have them… two more days.

This evening we went back to the Galleria for dinner. We tried yet another place in the food court. This one served Russian food. Although my Russian is getting a lot better, I’m still not to the point where I consider myself to be speaking Russian. Fortunately for the poor folks behind the counter, there was a worker at the next counter who spoke English. They fetched him quickly, but we probably didn’t need him. We’re doing pretty well at ordering anymore. I just start with “Ya ploha gavaryoo pa Rooski” (I don’t speak much Russian)… they sigh, nod, and away we go. We can say “Ya hachoo eta” (I want this) and point… they say “skolka” (how many), I say the correct number of servings and say “skolka stoyit” (how much does it cost), they answer, I know my numbers so I actually understand them, I pay… ta da… we eat. Not as hard as we thought it might be. There is also a steady stream of foreigners here adopting, so they are getting used to our broken Russian.

After dinner, we stopped by the video and software store in the Galleria again. We bought Kim and Peter each two more games (for Christmas and Birthdays… don’t tell them! Wait… unless you speak Russian, you can’t tell them!). The real purpose of the games is to help them keep as much of their Russian as possible. It’s not our only strategy for this, but it should help. We also bought three movies. We have become savvy enough to look for movies that are listed as “ALL” regions so they will play on the DVD back home (and on our computer). We also know how to look for whether the soundtrack is in Russian only, or also in English. We found several good choices, all for 150 rubles each ($5.45). We got out of there with 3 movies and 4 computer games for 910 rubles ($33.09). Tonight we had our friends from Louisiana back over to watch one of the movies. It was “The Water Horse” and we enjoyed it a lot… it’s either pretty good or we just liked having something in English to watch… I can’t really tell anymore. We also bought “Kung-Fu Panda” and an animated “Star Wars”. We can watch in English here to kill time, and the kids can watch in Russian at home to remind them of here. A win-win proposition. At that price, we may go buy a few more.

Tomorrow will be more of the same… we get the kids from 9:30 – 1:00. In the afternoon we’ll go to the market to buy cakes and flowers for the orphanage. Flowers are culturally a very big thing here, so they should make a nice addition to our very practical (and not adequately extravagant by Russian expectations for “rich” American adopters) gifts for the orphanage. On Friday, we’ll get the translated court papers releasing the children into our custody. We’ll have a little bit of paperwork to do related to signing them and then getting the passports underway. After that, we’ll go get them and bring them home. Good night… and Happy Birthday Brendia… we’d call but… well… you understand.
Note: All photos in this post were taken by photographer Kimberly Yana Merrick.

Mug Shots

2008-12-02T23:47:00.003-05:00

It’s Tuesday night and still no internet in the room and no email access. This is starting to become frustrating. Paying by the minute in the business center is not a workable solution, so we’re still just posting once per day.

Today Lisa had her mug shot taken. I should explain. On Friday, we’ll have to get passports for Kim and Peter. They will take one day… pretty amazing considering the wait in the U.S. for a passport. We had Kim and Peter for another half-day today away from the orphanage. One of the things we needed to do with them was have their photos taken for their passports. It turns out that we had to get Lisa another passport photo as well… it’s necessary for the children’s passport/visas. It used to be that they would just photocopy your passport photo. Now, it’s required to get an original photo… at least our translator explained it that way.

Kim and Peter were VERY eager to get out with us today. No repeats of yesterday’s fears leaving the orphanage and no melt downs… lessons learned? They were wearing their usual orphanage clothes. We had them change into some of their new clothes for the photos, but we had the interpreter explain that they’d need to change back so they’d have these clothes once they come to live with us on Friday. They looked very nice for their photos… and the facial expressions were very Russian. No smiles, dull expressionless faces are the norm here. It was explained to us that there is an old Russian saying that “only a fool smiles for no reason.” Nonetheless, the photos are as good as you can ask for passport photos. In fact, Lisa’s is actually better than her U.S. Passport photo (not that it would be hard to get a better photo of her than the one in her passport).

We intentionally did NOT go back to the Galleria today… didn’t want to set a precedent of nothing but going out to expensive fun places when you’re with Mom and Dad. We had a quieter day. We played a little futbol on the plaza outside the hotel after the photos. We had lunch at KFC.
The kids asked for pizza again, but I couldn’t do it two days in a row. We had a Basket (bucket) of extra crispy wings. Peter did not like them… too spicy (they are more spicy here). Once we peeled the coating off, he loved them. No problems with Kim who ate them and wanted more… and had more… and more. She thought it was a fun game to count how many she had and to make sure Papa could keep up. They were less in awe of food today. It was good to see.

Afterward, we had to back to the hotel for them to change and return to the orphanage. We feared that this would be traumatic… giving up their new clothes and putting on the tired, well-worn outfits they wear all the time. It was actually no problem at all. They are getting comfortable with the idea that their things will be here tomorrow. That’s something new for them. They always pleaded to take things back with them before. We’ve tried to explain that whatever they take back to the orphanage might have to stay at the orphanage. I think they understand.

Speaking of orphanage, we spoke to the director this morning to make sure it would be alright for us and the kids to bring some cakes to share with the children when we bring Kim and Peter home on Friday. She said it would be fine, but maybe we would also like to give them a gift for their groups. We had mentioned that we have some school supplies for the groups, some shoes, and some other gifts. She suggested that we might consider “something they could use”… like a digital camera or a DVD player. This is the same woman that drives a new Volvo, wears LOTS of jewelry, and lots of expensive outfits. (While the shoes the kids are wearing are falling apart and Kim ties her pants together with a string). We’re not entirely sure that such items would get much use from the kids. We most definitely will not be giving a cash gift to the orphanage (nor a camera nor DVD player for that matter). We do have very practical gifts… they fit us very well. The gifts will definitely be useful for the kids… and not of much interest to the caregivers.

Today was day 7 of our wait… 3 to go. Beth and Luke are starting to get really sick of Stavropol and I think we are all ready for a change of scenery. We are now half-way through this Russia trip and looking forward to Moscow where there is more to do and see.

Six on Six

2008-12-01T23:59:00.006-05:00

Still no Internet in the room and no email. As they say at the front desk (everyday)… maybe tomorrow?

Today (Monday) was day 6 of our 10-day wait and it was a very special day. This morning, the orphanage director granted us permission to take the kids with us away from the orphanage for the morning. It was something we really thought would be good for Peter. He doesn’t do “new” terribly well in that he is not very adventurous and gets very timid in new situations. He proved us right almost immediately. In fact… it was immediately. The director sent Kim to get him (he’s still in the infirmary but he’s been symptom free for days… I think you have to stay a week if you get sent over there). She got his coat and a hat. I say “A hat” because it apparently wasn’t “HIS” hat. He immediately rejected it and got quite sullen. He kept saying “nee hachoo” (I don’t want it), crossing his arms and looking very contrary. He didn’t want to leave… under the pretext that he didn’t like this hat. The truth is that in Russia it is not acceptable for boys to be afraid. He couldn’t admit that he was scared to leave his familiar surroundings. By making up the issue with the hat, he could try to save face.

On the way back to the hotel with the kids, he sat on Lisa’s lap. She kept commenting that if he were an old man, she would think he was having a heart attack because his heart was beating so quickly. Once we were almost to the hotel, he was fine. Once we got in the door, he was great. We think this might have been his first ever ride in an elevator based on how much he loved it and was in awe of it. We stopped briefly by the room… so he could see it before he actually moves into it as well as to drop of the bag we took to the orphanage in case we could only visit there and not bring them with us. The computer game we bought here that teaches English was a big hit. We can't understand the instructions, but Kim and Peter can.

We spent the morning wandering around the area close to the hotel taking photos at the local landmarks… all the time with them begging to go to the Galleria. Kim had been there before when a friend was being adopted and she was able to tag along to keep her company. After what the kids thought was entirely too much time with the “photographia”, we finally went to the Galleria. Immediately they wanted to ride up and down the escalators. Then we went to the bottom floor to ice skate. We had to wait about 20 minutes for the next available timeslot, so the kids wanted to play the video games in the arcade. Time for meltdown #2. We gave each of the kids a token for one game ($1 each). Peter went first and played a shooting game which was over very quickly (he’s a lousy shot). Then when the other kids had their turns for a game, he wanted to do another game. We said no. He doesn’t really care for “no”, so he became sullen and withdrawn again. He doesn’t really do temper tantrums, he just pouts and tries to walk away a few feet. We then went over to skate and he was still pouting and therefore saying “Nee hachoo” to everything. I gave him the choice to skate with the other kids or to stay with me and Lisa. “Nee Hachoo”. So he didn’t get to skate. His response tells us that he’s not used to choices having consequences. He’ll learn. About 15 minutes into the kids skating, he decided he wanted to skate. Too Late. Life lessons start early and aren’t always fun. This one really wasn’t too bad, but we hoped that it is a start toward normal relations. Lisa took him for walk on the escalators and up and down the glass elevator… he thought that was very cool… even if it wasn’t skating.

After skating, we went to the pizza place. I asked him right before “Pizza, da elee nyet” (Pizza, yes or no). He gave a very quiet “yes” this time. He’s learning already. We ordered TWO pizzas for the six of us and let each kid pick out their own can of drink. You’d have thought we gave them the crown jewels the way they immediately latched onto their cans and weren’t going to give them up. Peter was so excited about it that he half-shook up his can of Koka-Kola. We were very careful about opening it. When the pizza came, we learned that, yes, the kids are used to using silverware (not all orphanage kids are). They were thrilled to have a whole piece of pizza to themselves. When we gave them a second piece their jaws dropped open. There are no seconds at the orphange where they sometimes get a “3 course” dinner (as explained by the director). Three courses means juice, mashed potatoes, AND soup! You should have seen their faces when the second pizza was brought to the table. Complete and absolute disbelief… and VERY big smiles.

Afterward, Kim kept asking “Gasteeneetza” (hotel). We stopped back by the room. We’re pretty sure she was actually trying to ask us if she could stay with us now and not wait. Unfortunately, today they only had a taste of living with a family. It’s not real yet. They had to go back. Neither made a sound the whole way back to the orphanage. You could see on Kim’s normally very happy and very expressive face that she was really hurting. She looked like she wanted to cry… but she’s never cried in front of us. She and her brother sat like statues the whole time. Unmoving, unspeaking, unresponding. When we reached the orphanage, Peter told our interpreter (who rejoined us for the drive… we had the kids without him) that he didn’t want to go back to the orphanage. Lessons and all, this was a good thing to him and he didn’t want it to end. That was good to hear. The interpreter promised that we would come back tomorrow (we’ll probably get them for a half-day again… we hope). Kim quietly walked back in and had to go off to her group. Peter turned around and walked out the door… back to the infirmary. The interpreter “joked” that “look, he knows where he belongs”. Peter was expressionless and just trudged back across the parking lot… holding the coloring book we gave him. It’s REALLY hard to give them back. It seems that we had a taste too.

This afternoon we spent mostly in the room doing homework. Luke is FINISHED with all of his. Beth still has some math to go, but she now understands the equation for a line really well and how to use it. She’s been very worried about getting her science done since we haven’t been able to get online to see her textbook in half-a-week now. We’ll (supposedly) have unlimited internet in the apartment in Moscow next week. We’ll also have Kim and Peter and that will be a new hurdle for doing homework. Tonight, our new friends from Louisiana came over to the room. We traded some books (in English!). We also watched a movie that they brought. Their DVD player is down. The kids didn’t so much enjoy the movie (Love is a Many Splendored Thing…. Old love story), but it was nice to have the company and that’s what it was all about anyway.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-11-30T23:12:00.000-05:00

No internet in the room… still. We are forced to write these posts on our computer and them upload them in the business center… for an additional cost. Maybe we will have the Wi-Fi back up tomorrow? Still no ability to check email… sorry.

We learned today (Sunday) that it is Mother’s Day in Russia. We were unable to visit the kids today because the holiday means that our Russian support staff have the day off. Everyone needs a holiday and a day off sometimes, so we understand. Today we spent a good part of the day with another adoptive family from just north of New Orleans Louisiana. We met the husband yesterday while playing “Phase 10” in the lobby while the housekeeping staff made up our room. He is originally from England. We met the wife this morning at breakfast. They are adopting a 13-month-old boy. After breakfast we showed them the way to the open air market we they did some shopping. He bought some fur lined boots (it’s colder here than in Louisiana), they bought several things for the baby and we bought some bananas, bread, oranges, and a copy of Kim’s English textbook (the same as she uses at school). We also stopped for more ice cream on the way back. The kiwi ice cream was REALLY good… maybe my favorite so far (but the blueberry was a close second).

We managed to spend a good 3 hours on this adventure. While that seems insignificant, it isn’t. When you are on your 10-day wait in Stavropol, there is not a lot to do. Finding a way to fill 3 hours on a day when you won’t see the children is a blessing. We spent the afternoon in the room. The kids played computer games and we also did another batch of bathroom sink laundry. The heating registers in the room make pretty good dryers. After dinner (at the baked potato place on the upper floor of the Galleria… 2nd time there… one of our favorites), we ran into our friends again. We played some more Phase 10 down in the lobby… another way to kill a couple hours. While there, we met another adoptive parent from California who had previously left a comment on our blog. It was nice to put a face with someone you’ve only known over the internet. It was also good to share adoption stories, which we did for over an hour. We also received a call from our interpreter telling us to be ready at 8:30 tomorrow morning to go see the kids. There is a good chance that we can bring them back with us for the day. It’ll be good to get them out of the orphanage, even if only for a day. It will also be good to be able to put a couple of meals in them. I don’t recall if we mentioned Peter’s dinner in the infirmary the other day. It was a roll with cabbage in it. One roll the size of a normal dinner roll. Nothing else; No plate; No silverware; No drink… Just a small stuffed roll. What will they think of dinner in America? Today is day 5 of our wait… halfway there. Five to go!

Missing a Visit

2008-11-29T03:15:00.003-05:00

We still are without Internet in the room. It comes and goes and mostly it’s been going and not coming. We had it briefly yesterday morning, but not since. We have been able to put these blog posts on our memory stick and upload them from the business center downstairs. We haven’t been able to check email for a couple days however, so if we haven’t replied to you, it’s nothing personal.

Yesterday was really foggy. The weather had become much cooler and it had rained a little. Most of the day we had some of the heaviest fog that we’ve ever seen. It lifted a little bit in the late afternoon, but not completely. It was back by nightfall.

Also, we were unable to meet with the kids yesterday (Friday). As we were waiting in the lobby, our interpreter called the hotel to let us know that the driver would not be coming today. Our coordinator had another family coming in and they couldn’t locate the child that they were to adopt. As a result, everyone on his team was working on solving that problem and the driver was not available to take us to the orphanage. They called later Friday night to let us know that all was well and that they would be here at 8:30 this morning to take us over. This morning, we learned that the child was there, but the paperwork was all-wrong and had him being adopted by a different family. They were able to get it solved.

We went over to the orphanage today and the kids didn’t know we were coming this morning. The interpreter tried calling the orphanage several times last night but could not through, the line was busy. Hence, the kids didn’t know why we didn’t show up when they expected us yesterday afternoon. This had us very worried. You see, the last time we were there (Thursday afternoon), Peter was ill. He was running a fever and had to blow his nose a lot. Just a normal kid head cold, nothing to worry about. However, when we saw him ill and in the infirmary on Thursday and then we didn’t show up on Friday, we didn’t want the kids to think that we changed our mind about the adoption because one of them was ill. When we arrived this morning, Kim was still sleeping. One of the caretakers went to wake her. She dressed quickly and came running and then we all went across the parking lot to the next building over which houses the infirmary. Peter’s fever had broken and he looks like he’ll be able to go back to the regular orphanage area soon. We only had about 75 minutes today even though it’s Saturday. The driver had to be back at the hotel at 10:30 to take a couple to the baby orphanage (which has a very strict schedule). On the way out, the driver stopped so we could take a few photos of Kim’s school.

My two Sons (Lisa)

2008-11-28T07:49:00.002-05:00

Lying in bed this morning as the early morning sun shined through the drapes in my half-awake state, I started staring up at two marker-colored wooden cars sitting on top of the refrigerator in our room. These are the cars that the boys colored together during the social workers visit at the children’s home. The girls made bead bracelets at the same time. (The social worker’s report in court talked a lot about the kids being engaged in joint activities, which impressed her. They could not speak the same language yet could work together.)

I started thinking about all the artwork that would hang on my fridge at home. Mostly I started thinking about how much the same and yet at the very same time how different the boys are. They both very much like to build with Legos and will sit and build for hours. Not only do they both like to build with them they both have to be building something specific, not just attaching bricks together. They both look to their sisters for guidance, but at the same time they both want to make their own choice at times as well. They both enjoy soccer (or futbol) but don’t always want to be part of a big group. Just to top it off they both are left-handed (Grandpa you will have a couple of boys to sit next to.) Yet how very different they are. Luke has grown up being encouraged to try lots of things to go lots of places and has always had plenty to eat. Peter has spent his life being told he can’t, has not gone outside of Stavropol and has barely had enough to eat. Hence Luke weighs twice as much as Peter and Peter comes up to just under Luke’s shoulder. You know what? They both give Mom great hugs. Different and yet the same, but they are now brothers forever (Luke inscribed the back of both cars “Luke and Peter, brothers forever!) Pray for me as I try to be the best Mother I can be for both of them (and their sisters too.)

Happy Belated Thanksgiving

2008-11-28T02:43:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the delay in getting this post up. We’ve not been able to get an internet connection at all on Thursday. We were pre-warned that our internet would not be all that reliable here... we're learning that a lot of things are different than home.

Although we have so very much to be thankful for it is hard to think of it being thanksgiving without the smell of turkey roasting, piles of pies, football on the TV and most importantly family gathered all around. I think this is the first Thanksgiving that we will not be surrounded by extended family, but we have our new family here. Kim and Peter know nothing of this holiday. It’s just another day here in Russia. We’ll see them later (at around 4:00pm each day… about the time the Kim gets out of school) and tell them Happy Thanksgiving and try to explain the holiday. They will certainly have lots to be thankful for. How much their life is changing for the better. We wonder which parts will be hard and which will be easy for them; which will seem better and which will not.

It is really clear that Kim is ready to go. Last night she corrected Luke who called her Yana. She immediately said (in Russian of course), I’m not Yana, I’m Kim. The fun thing is that we all understood her. When we she learned that her birthdate changed and that she is 9 and not 10 she was shocked but then recovered quickly… just one more change in a world where everything is changing. How hard that must be. We asked her what she wanted for her birthday present. She first asked for a bicycle… and we told her that there is already one in the garage waiting for her. Then she though a moment and asked for a doll… and we reminded her of the photo of her bedroom with a new doll waiting on the bed as her welcome home gift. Then she said she couldn’t think of anything else. After a minute, she decided to ask for a real car! We explained that children can’t drive yet and she wouldn’t get one even if she could. She laughed and smiled. We only get to see them for 60 – 90 minutes each day and that’s hard. We hope to maybe have them come with us for the day on Saturday or Sunday.

We hope you all have a really wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoy all that you have to be thankful for. You are in our thoughts as we prepare to go next door later to have our Thanksgiving dinner… the kids think that KFC is as close as we will come to turkey this year... and we can even have some corn on the cob. The chicken shish-kebobs we had at the Russian shish-kebob restaurant wouldn’t have been a bad choice either (they were REALLY good). Lisa promises to do a full Thanksgiving feast in January for us.

Shopping in Stavropol - Two Russias

2008-11-26T07:04:00.005-05:00

Today is our first day of waiting. Well, actually we've been waiting a lot over the past year, but this is our first day of waiting in Stavropol. We slept in. We needed it. We're still not completely over the jet lag so it's been hard to sleep at night when your body thinks its the middle of the afternoon. After breakfast at the hotel (it's included and is a relatively good spread... see the post from our last trip in July), we did a little homework. Luke worked on Language Arts today and Beth read about the Spartans. After that, we went shopping.

Shopping in Stavropol is a great example of the contrasts we see in Russia. In the area immediately surrounding our hotel it looks like Easton. There are a lot of boutique type shops and designer labels. Everyone in this are is VERY label conscious and they will save for months to buy a designer outfit and then wear it almost every day. We haven't shopped in these shops much on this trip... we've been saving our rubles for the important stuff... like ice cream. We walked about a mile from the hotel and went shopping in the "other Russia", the one where the normal Russians shop.

It was an open air market with lots of little booths where people sold everything from tools to clothes to food. There are lots of Russian high knee, high heel boots that all the young women wear. Beth isn't impressed. Luke liked the camo jackets and pants. We bought tonight's dinner at the market. A really good looking loaf of bread (11 rubles: 40 cents), 2 apples (20 rubles: 72 cents), 5 small oranges (25 rubles: 91 cents), a small jar of fresh honey (40 rubles: $1.45), and a really good looking cake... the desserts here are really good (80 rubles: $2.90). We'll supplement it with stuff from the room as needed. We took a few photos of the market andLuke would like to add some comments:

LUKE: Smoking is bad, but everyone here thinks it's hip. People smoke everywhere and all the places we go to smell like smoke, even the hotel room. At the market we bought some really good thin bread (Dad's note: think flour tortillas that taste like fresh white bread) and ate some of it while we were walking. Meat is sold different than in America. Instead of being in a refridgerator, it's hanging on poles or just laying on the counter.
The also have fish. Some are still alive in a tank. When you buy them, the seller pulls them out and kills them by smashing their brain with a hammer and then cuts them up for you. We also saw a skinned head of a cow sitting on the counter (see photo). It had horns attached, eyeballs still in their sockets, the fur was still around its nose, and Beth was really freaked out by it. It was awesome.

The Eyes of Those Who Will Remain

2008-11-25T15:08:00.004-05:00

We were able to spend around 90 minutes with our kids in their orphanage this afternoon. It feels really good to officially be able to call them “our kids”. We explained about the court hearing. They knew it was yesterday and today and probably knew more about these hearings than we did since they have had friends who have already gone through the process. Yana (now Kim) clearly showed a look of satisfaction that it was final. She already knew about the 10 day wait, so it wasn’t too big of a disappointment that for her that they couldn’t leave with us today. We showed the kids the airline tickets to Moscow with their names on them. Kim had to count them to make sure we had enough. Gena (now Peter) was a little quiet about the whole thing. He did reach up and open Lisa’s locket to look at the pictures of Beth and Luke on one side and he and Kim on the other. He giggled a little bit about being in our family and even more when I kept asking him his name and he finally said “Peter”. We learned at court from the Deputy Director of the Orphanage that Peter has had his (very few) things packed and has been asking every day if it’s time for him to go home yet. He is excited, but very shy and reserved about it… especially if Kim is not in the room. She has been his security blanket and he will have a long, hard time learning to be his own person. He did very well with us today, but having been institutionalized in an orphanage from a young age and having that be a DRAMATIC IMPROVEMENT in his quality of life will make his transition a tough one.

At the orphanage today we experienced something that we also experienced back in July on our first trip. Lisa calls it “the eyes that follow”. Yesterday at the orphanage the care givers pretty much kept the other kids out of the area where we were visiting our kids. Today, we were in a different room…. The “guest room” where the Mama’s and Papa’s come to be with their kids. This room is on the main floor and is pretty much accessible to anyone who wanders by. Some of the other kids from the orphanage wandered by.

It started by them looking in the windows from outside. One or two would tap on the glass hoping for some response. Slowly a few started to sneak into the room and stand on the periphery, never saying a word. One boy, about 8 or 9 years old by the look of him, kept coming in to watch us and then he would step into the foyer where there was a piano. He’d play a few notes and then come back in. He wanted us to see that he liked music and he wanted us to think that he had some talent that might make us want to adopt him too, or maybe tell our friends about him. He never said a word the whole time we were there, but his eyes spoke volumes about his longing. Another boy, older, maybe 13 or 14 came and sat down with us while we played Tri-ominos with all four of our kids (you don’t have to speak the same language to figure out how to play). He watched very carefully and occasionally suggested a play to Kim. Most of his suggestions were wrong and hers were better, but you could tell he really wanted to be part of family activity… even if just as an observer for a little while. At his age and being a boy, he has almost no prospect of ever being adopted. He'll turn 18 and be dropped of in the center of town with 1 month's wage and well wishes. If the statistics we've read are true, he has a 2 in 3 probability that he will commit suicide within 3 years thereafter.

You never escape their eyes. They are always watching, waiting, calling, and wondering “why them and not me?” It rips a piece out of your soul every time you see them. Every child needs the love of a family and freedom from the lives that these kids have had to endure. If you are considering adopting a child, do it. They need you. Be it Russia, Africa, Central America, Asia, or your own town… they need a family and you can be it. You don’t have to be perfect… you just have to be willing. It’s a hard process as our previous blog posts over the past year and a half will attest, but it’s NOTHING compared to how hard it is to leave these kids behind. We can’t save them all, but we can save two. Will you help with another one?

If you have questions we'd be happy to talk to you about it.

Court - Day 2

2008-11-25T07:51:00.002-05:00

Our court hearing was this morning from 10:00 – 11:20am. We were in a larger, much more formal courtroom for this part of the process and there were people from the orphanage, the ministry of social welfare, the ministry of education, the ministry of health, our lawyer, translator, the prosecuting officer (verifies the documents as authentic) and the judge. We started with more formalities, introductions and reading of the relevant requirements. Then I was asked more questions including questions about our religious affiliation and if the children would have the opportunity to choose a religion themselves when they are older. Lisa was up next with more questions about the kids and whether the biokids would become rivals of the adopted kids when we die and it’s time to settle our estate. After that, the representatives from each of the ministries spoke. Finally, the judge read through the list of each document in our dossier and gave a summary of it. If you’ve ever adopted or if you’ve heard us talk about the dossier, you realize that this list took quite awhile. After that, we were excused from the courtroom while the court deliberated. This was odd in that “the court” was just the judge. Our translator joked that we go outside while she talks to a mirror so she can deliberate. After a few minutes, we were invited back in and the judge read through her decree. As of today, Nov. 25 2008, the court orders that Yana Sergeevna Jelyabovskaya’s name will become Kimberly Yana Merrick with no patronymic name and that Gennadiy Sergeovich Jelyabovski’s name will become Peter Gennadiy Merrick with no patronymic name. Further, they will legally become the children of Mark and Lisa Merrick.

There. It’s done. We are now, legally, a family of six. The order of the court is held for 10 days during which time if additional information becomes available that would alter the court’s decision, it can be brought forth. After 10 days, this window for new information is closed and the children will be given into our custody. We get to see the kids at 4:00 this afternoon to tell them it’s all-official. Now we just have to wait the 10 days and get their passports and newly revised birth certificates. We should get physical custody on Friday, December 5th. We fly to Moscow on Sunday, December 7th. We bought six tickets for that flight today :-)

Court - Day 1

2008-11-24T11:29:00.002-05:00

We made it out alive! Actually, it wasn’t too bad at all. There was a small bit of turmoil about Yana’s birth date however. We learned of it 5 – 10 minutes before the hearing. It appears that she has four different birth dates listed on official documents. Three of them were in May (8th, 15th, and 18th). It seems that these were all estimated birth dates based on development because there were no official birth records that the children’s home could find. The court was able to locate a birth record for her and guess what? Her birth date is in DECEMBER (20th) and not in May at all. This morning she was officially 10 years old. This afternoon she became 9 years old again. It looks like we’ll be having a birthday party about a week after we get back. Who knew?

The photo is of the courthouse. It’s not the best photo however. We took it from inside the van since Mark has this propensity for getting nearly arrested if he tries to use a camera in Russia. He’s a threat to national security in case you were wondering.

Today’s court hearing was the closed, preliminary hearing where the judge gathers data to help her with the court’s decision about the adoption. It started with formalities. We all had to stand when she entered the room and every time we spoke. There was a reading of the hearing’s purpose, attendees, etc. Then, the questions started. Mark was the first to be questioned. The questions focused on why we are pursuing adoption in Russia; what problems we were expecting as a result of the children’s’ “diagnoses”; whether we were being overly optimistic about these problems; about our financial stability; whether our biological children would be accepting of the new children or would they bully them; whether I had ever inflicted cruelty or abuse on a child; whether I would use physical punishments; and whether or not the children would be afraid of me because they have never had a father and the mother that they had had been cruel to them. After around 20 – 25 minutes (with me standing the whole time), it was Lisa’s turn to stand and face the court. Her questions focused on why we are seeking to adopt in Russia; whether our biological children would be jealous of having to share us with the new kids; what would she do when problems arose with the new kids; and when, in the future, the new “developmentally delayed” kids fail to live up to the standards set by our “normal” kids, whether we would abandon them. As far as a grilling goes, I think we left feeling more medium-rare than well done. Not too bad.

The social worker also spoke and gave great praise to Beth and Luke based on her observations of earlier this morning. She was in awe of how well our biokids accepted and interacted with our Russian kids. She couldn’t believe that they were able to engage in joint activities (doing some crafts that Lisa brought along) during the interview while the grown-ups were talking. The hearing ended after a few more formalities and we were done in just over an hour. Tomorrow we have the formal hearing at 10:00am and about 60 – 90 minutes later we will legally be a family of six.

After court, the driver took us back to the orphanage for an hour… this time without our translator (who had to do some court paperwork related errands). It was really nice to spend some time alone there as a family. We communicated surprisingly well and had a good time of bonding as a family. We were up in Yana’s group area and she was able to show us 1) her photo album that we gave her in July (she knows each photo very well) and 2) some of her schoolbooks. She has English Class this year and already knows her alphabet and the sounds each letter makes. She enjoyed showing us that she is already able to say quite a few words.

Oh, by the way, we also learned that the kids might have a biological sister or half-sister somewhere. She would probably be around 5 years old… if she exists. There is no paperwork for her and no official records. Apparently the kids told a social worker about a younger sister some time ago, but no one knows who or where she is. We think. We learned about this at the social worker interview and wondered if it would be sprung on us in court (Russian law says you have to adopt all of the known siblings or you get none of them). There was no mention of the other sister in court however and we really don’t know if there is any truth to her existence.

We ate at the new KFC next door for dinner tonight. It wasn’t quite KFC at home, but it was pretty close and the food was good. Both kids ate until they were full… and it cost about 90 rubles less than our old standby of “Fresh Burger”.

Social Worker Interview

2008-11-24T04:16:00.002-05:00

This morning we had our "interview" with the social worker. Alex, our driver, picked her up on his way to get us and then drove us all to the orphanage. Gena met us in the lobby and had a candy to share with Beth and Luke. We were brought into the office of the Orphanage Director who greeted us warmly... just as she had left us last time. She asked us questions and had the Doctor brought in to answer any questions that we had about the children's medical diagnosis. As an aside, ALL orphanage children in Russia have a "diagnosis". It seems that Russians believe that if the kids are "normal" then they would not be in an orphanage. Also, at one point the only way a Russian child could be adopted abroad was if there was something wrong with them... hence, they ALL have something wrong with them. Yana has a typical Russian orphanage diagnosis of cerebral asthesia... "not enough blood flow to the brain" and this explains her "mental and social delays" at the time she entered the orphanage. The "diagnoses" are reviewed and revised every 3 years, so hers has not changed yet. The truth is that she is VERY bright, makes all A's and B's in her school and just won a local poetry reading contest for which she has qualified to the regional (state) competition. Her "diagnosis" is merely a formality to allow her to be adopted.

It's about 12:45 in the afternoon and at 1:00 we will be picked up for our first court hearing. We'll let everyone know how it goes.

First Contact

2008-11-23T11:36:00.004-05:00

After breakfast at the hotel buffet, we were able to visit the orphanage for around 90 minutes this morning. It was an “informal” meeting (i.e. not officially scheduled… official meetings are during the week). The kids all were able to meet each other and despite their different languages, they were able to play together very well. You don’t need much language for soccer, Lego’s, and a playground. Both of the Russian kids seem to be happy and at least as healthy as when we left them in July. Gennadiy has a new, short-cropped haircut and is still very shy unless Yana is also there. They didn’t know we would be coming to visit them today, but when they both saw us they gave a huge smile and came running as fast as they could.

We were a little concerned about how Yana would respond. She was a little reserved around us back in July. She was very obviously excited about us coming and it was also clear that she’s been thinking about the adoption a lot. She gave more and better smiles than we have ever seen from her. She wanted to know if she could come home with us this trip. We told her that we weren’t leaving without her and she gave a huge, contented smile. She also told us that they did get the letters we’ve been sending and pointed out that they were in both Russian and English. She’s ready. I wish we could post a photo for everyone, but we can’t do that quite yet… but we will be able to do so soon.

We have an interview with a social worker and the kids in the morning at the orphanage. Then, after lunch, we have the first of two days of court. This is the day where they will grill us on our homestudy and other documents as well as why we are adopting from Russia. This is the hard day. Tuesday will be more formal, but less stressful in terms of questioning.

We had a nice time walking around Stavropol this afternoon, even though it was cool (4 deg. C) and misting a light rain. We then had dinner at “Fresh Burger”… in the food court in the Galleria mall by the hotel. Fresh Burger will now forever be our new codeword for eating really, really bad fast food. We struggled trying to order because I couldn’t find the menu items in our dictionary… and then it dawned on me that they were phonetic spellings in Russian of English Words that we already knew. The kids had chicken nuggets (Наггец), which were halfway edible. Lisa and I each had a burger (Бургер), which was not. By the way, “ketchup” cost extra and it was actually more like a cross between cocktail sauce and salsa. We won’t be paying extra for it next time. They must also REALLY like mayonnaise here based on the amount smeared on the burger… except it was more like a cross between sour cream, mayonnaise, and butter. Yum. Overall, it was an interesting experience in trying to order from the counter in a language you don’t really speak (it’s harder than using a menu where you can just point when they can’t understand you).

Safely in Stavropol... what a day and a half

2008-11-23T05:04:00.005-05:00

It's now 1:10pm on Sunday and we are safely in Stavropol. We just returned from the orphanage... more on that later.

We arrived last night around midnight local time after an extremely long and tough day of travel. Lisa was ill Thursday night and Friday morning, but we could not afford to let our court date slip by... we've been told that if you do, you might be lucky to get another one in six months... maybe. We left Columbus on-time. Thanks so much to Jen and Rich for their shuttling us to the airport. We had A LOT of turbulence coming into Atlanta and Lisa was pretty green in color by the time we landed. Fortunately, she recovered well. Our Atlanta to Moscow (Sheremetyevo) flight was aided by a good tailwind, so it was a little bit shorter than planned and that was a good thing. Luke became pretty airsick and the last couple hours on the plane were really hard for him. Lisa didn't feel great for that leg of the trip, but she was doing a lot better by that time.

Once in Moscow, we had an 8.5 hour layover with our next flight out of Vnukovo airport... a 20 - 40 minute drive. Our driver (Vlad) was the same one we had for the last trip and in whose apartment we had stayed. He let us know that we could meet with our Moscow coordinator (to pick-up our domestic flight tickets and pay the fees) and then go straight to the airport, or, he could give us a driving tour of the city first... for $60. After having sat in Vnukovo airport for way too many hours on our last trip, we opted for the tour. As tours go, it probably wasn't worth $60, but it was far better than just sitting in the airport. We stopped by an open air market where Vlad introduced us to his friend... who happend to have one of the tables with items for sale. We didn't have any room in the luggage, so we'll shop on the return leg. We also stopped by "Victory Park" where we took the photo of the kids climbing on a couple of Russian Battle Tanks.

Our flight from Moscow to Stavropol was a real concern. Just after we got to the Vnukovo airport, it started snowing. Hard. Really Hard. We probably had 2 inches of snow in 60 minutes or less. A lot of flights were delayed, including ours. We had gotten all the way to the boarding call before they delayed it. We prayed pretty hard that it would go through because there is only one flight to Stavropol, and it's at 7:45pm and it only goes 5 days per week. It would have really been a challenge to stay the night. Fortunately, we boarded (at another gate) about 30 - 40 minutes later. The plane was completely covered in snow. They got the runway plowed and our plane de-iced and we made it out of Moscow. What a relief.

I had a little adventure in the airport in Stavropol. I made what turned out to be a VERY silly mistake by taking a picture of Lisa and the kids just outside the door before we went into the terminal from the plane after landing. The nice fellow in the soldier uniform informed me that photos of sensitive areas are prohibited... he asked for my documents, and he confiscated my passport. Fortunatlely, our interpreter (also named Vlad) had just arrived. Lisa and the kids waited with the bags while we went to speak to the security officers. After a lot of cajoling, Vlad was able to convice the head security man that I am not a threat and that he could return my passport. Keeping it would probably be more political trouble than it would be worth. It seemed to our interpreter to be a really good idea if I would give the security man a "gift" to thank him for not filling out all the paperwork. I could leave it on the sofa in the security office. It was a 1000 ruble lesson to reinforce that this is not America.

We finally got to bed around 1:00am, after 34 hours of being on the go.

Nearly Time to Go

2008-11-21T08:15:00.002-05:00

We're getting on the plane for Russia in just over 4 hours and we're nearly ready. The new bedrooms are ready, the beds made, the new clothes put away and waiting. The bags are packed (almost), the kids are excited and the dog is confused about why his bag isn't packed (Grandma is coming to get him a little bit later).

We really need your prayers for safe travel, a smooth court process and good bonding with the kids. We also need your prayers for health... Lisa became ill overnight with the same malady that the kids had 2 days ago. Travel today will not be easy. I just hope that I don't get it for our court date.

All I Really Want for Christmas

2008-11-17T08:12:00.009-05:00

We have been talking about God's timing in our house a lot lately. We have been impatient wanting to get back over to Russia to get Kim and Peter. God has said wait. Now I look around at all the work that has gotten done around the house and am so thankful it is finished. I'm thankful that I have been here to support my friends through some of their trials over the last couple weeks and know that God is in control.

One other thing that God has really hit me with twice now is Steven Curtis Chapman's song "All I Really Want for Christmas". You see three years ago when we were still making excuses about why we couldn't adopt, I couldn't get away from it. It seemed to be EVERYWHERE and every time I would hear it, it would bring me to tears.

Well I heard it again this year, and again I am in tears, but this time it is different. You see, this year right before Christmas we are bringing our children home. For Kim and Peter, this is the year that they will have a family.

"All I Really Want for Christmas"
by Steven Curtis Chapman
(2005 Sparrow Records, EMI CMG)

Well, I don't know if you remember me or not
I'm one of the kids they brought in from the home
I was the red-haired boy in an old, green flannel shirt
You may not have seen me, I was standing off alone

I didn't come and talk to you 'cause that's never worked before
And you'll probably never see this letter, anyway
But just in case there's something you can do to help me out
I'll ask you one more time

All I really want for Christmas is someone to tuck me in
A shoulder to cry on if I lose, shoulders to ride on if I win
There's so much I could ask for, but there's just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas is a family

Well, I guess I should go ahead and tell you now
If it's really true about that list you have
Somehow I always seem to end up in a fight
But I'm really trying hard not to be bad

But maybe if I had a brother or a dad to wrestle with
Maybe they could teach me how to get along
And from everything I've heard, it sounds like the greatest gift on earth
Would be a mom

All I want for Christmas is someone who'll be here
To sing me happy birthday for the next 100 years
And It's okay if they're not perfect or even if they're a little broken
That's alright, 'Cause so am I

Well, I guess I should go, it's almost time for bed
Maybe next time I write you I'll be at home

`Cause all I really want for Christmas is someone to tuck me in
Tell me I'll never be alone, someone whose love will never end
Of all that I could ask for, well, there's just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas is a family

November 24 - 25!

2008-11-07T20:05:00.003-05:00

Thank you Lord. Help us get ready.

Fall Music

2008-11-06T21:57:00.010-05:00

Our children have had recent musical performances that we thought we'd share. Luke sang with the Children's Choir at Church a little over a week ago. He really seems to enjoy it and is hoping we'll be in town when they have their Christmas musical. It's selfish to say so, but I sort of hope we have to miss it because we'll be out of the country! Last week they were part of a churchwide musical celebration and did a very nice job. Here is one of the songs that they performed.

Beth really loves music as well, both singing in the special performance music group at school and playing the clarinet in the band. She had her first band concert of the school year tonight. It was a combined concert with performances of the 7th grade bands from all three of the middle-schools in our district. This is one of four pieces they performed. For only playing for one year, they've come a long way!

Beth's School Article: "Home From Russia"

2008-10-26T16:26:00.002-04:00

How many 'Reports' have been written about "What I did over the summer"? Beth's class had to be news reporters and interview themselves and some of their classmates about what happened over the summer and what they think about it now. Then they each wrote a newsletter with multiple articals about the different classmates. Here is Beth's article about her own summer "highlight". As first published in "Beth's Bit O' News"

Hi again! This is Beth again.In school, I had to write a reaport for a Tech Ed newsletter. Mom said I should put it on the blog, so, here it is!

“Their names are Kim and Peter…” OK, picture this; you are sitting on your grandma’s couch in Alabama. Your mom and dad are positively EXHAUSTED. Two hours ago they got off a plane from Russia after being on it for 11 hours! Then they had to drive to Grandma and Grandpa’s house from Atlanta, Georgia. We have been waiting for this not only the week they were in Russia, but for over a year-and-a-half! My family is adopting two children from Russia. But now they are more than just my brother and sister. They are Kim and Peter! And they have faces, ages, and even names! Kim is 10, and Peter is 8. I have a biological brother, who is 8. This is all about a month ago, now fast forward to a month ago. We were all sitting down to dinner when Dad tells us “We have been thinking, and instead of having you spend three weeks with Grandma and Grandpa, we think you two should come with us! You will miss three weeks of school but I think you will really enjoy it.” Then it sinks in… Luke and I are going to Russia!!! Fast forward to now. Here’s what’s happening. Luke just turned 9, all our paperwork is in Russia and we are waiting for our court date. Got to go, Bye!

Luke's Staying busy

2008-10-21T22:01:00.007-04:00

Well soccer season is wrapping up. Life is calming down a little. You would think . . . Right after Luke's last soccer game, we took him over for his basketball try outs. (Try outs is not a real good name for it. Everybody makes a team but they use these evaluations to help balance the teams out.) His games will start in January.

The other new addition to Luke's schedule is he has joined Cub Scouts. We have talked about having him join in the past but have never pursued it. This year one of his good friends from school and soccer is involved and sparked the interest for Luke. We went back and forth whether with the adoption coming if this was the right year to start it. Then we got to thinking this will give him a regularly scheduled father-son time to help reassure him during the transiton period that can be so hard on kids already in the family during an adoption. That coupled with his father's fond memories of Scouts and his Uncle's love of scouting says that this is probably a good thing to get him involved in. So here is a picture of Luke before his first pack meeting. (I had managed to make it over to the Boy Scout Store and get the shirt and stuff but I had not gotten the patches on yet. They are now on.) He was so excited about it. I hope the excitement stays with him.

One final thought: Does anyone want to buy any popcorn???

Beth's Trip to the Wilds

2008-10-17T13:58:00.019-04:00

Hi Everyone!

This is Beth, and this is also my first time writing a blog post, so wish me luck!

There are one or two things my parents talked about being advantages of not going to Russia in September. One was soccer, and the other was I got to go to the WILDS. My class from School went to the Wilds in four different groups. (I don’t think the people at the WILDS would be very happy feeding,
teaching and providing Yurts for 140 kids or more at once) I went on the first group. In my Yurt (think big round tent, I believe it was from India, with lights, a fan, and a whole bunch of critters) were Laura, Sarah, and Kirsten. There were twelve people total in the yurt, and I’m not going to list them so I don’t accidentally forget anyone. I will tell you, Laura has
a really busy schedule (she goes to skating BEFORE school a few days a week and has other stuff after) so she goes to bed early. It was late when we went to our yurt, and she had brought snacks, so she told us if we all went straight to bed she would give us each a Ho-ho in the morning. That got everyone to go straight to bed! The teacher in the yurt, Mrs. McCormick, wished for Laura to be
there the rest of the days too. Everyone was really loud the other nights. (Mrs. McCormick is my math teacher; she doesn’t actually work at the Wilds.) We were in the Wolf yurt, and there was (for us at least) a mouse in the yurt (It’s name is Squeakers the second. A girl in the yurt
already had a mouse named Squeakers), two spiders outside the yurt (a daddy long legs named Papa, and another spider named Legs), and a moth named I think Peanut but I forget it’s name. Apparently another group had a bat in the same yurt! That was just around the “camp”.

We did many things at the Wilds. If you didn’t know, the Wilds is a conservation site in southern Ohio that used to be a strip mine. Now it is the home to many savannah creatures such as the bison and the giraffes and wild horses! We (of course) went on the
tour. But we did several other things too. For the next two things I’ll be talking about we were split into two different groups. First my group went canoeing. Laura was my partner and at the end we were zipping around the lake pretty quick. The other group split project was exploring the lake next to the Canoeing Lake. My group didn’t find that much stuff. Someone
caught a fish and a few tadpoles. I did somewhat fall in! About to my knees were soaked before I grabbed onto the rock I had been standing on and Laura helped me up. Then we all went back to the yurt and I changed. Our Groups got together and we went on a trail walk. We also learned about the different types of animals’ digestive systems. We did this by looking at their poop! We also went to the carnivore section. There we saw the cheetahs and the African Wild Dog. We also learned about the different types of teeth there. When we were leaving, the Dogs were being fed and we were able to go over and see them being fed! It was really cool.
Speaking of cool, at night, the Wilds are freezing! The food was ok; up at the Restaurant by the gift shop was the best. That is the Wilds for me.
(Side note: All pictures used in this post were ones I took with my camera, so you can see we got to see a LOT of animals. Mom wouldn't let me put them all up.)

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You

2008-10-12T23:25:00.010-04:00

I can not say it enough. Thank you. Tonight our church had an adoption shower for us. Thank You. A big thank you to everyone that made cookies for it. It would be wonderful, if you would share the recipes. (You could just post them on the comments, then everyone who enjoyed them can make them.) I didn't have any that weren't wonderful. I want to give an extra thank you to everyone that tried making a Russian recipe. They were great! (Sour Cream was really in some of them???) On the other hand, you can't go wrong with chocolate either, so thank you too. I guess what I am really just saying is Thank you to you all. Another HUGE thank you goes out to Jen, Rich and Pastor Bill for the set up and clean up. Thank you.
We can hardly believe the tremendously generous outpouring of support. God is so very good. Enough was given to fly one of us to Russia and back for our court appointment. (Now all we need is the date... Keep praying.) This was so much more than we ever expected. Thank You. Mostly I want to thank everyone for your emotional support through this whole process and your prayers, prayers, prayers. Thank you.
Your prayers are what is keeping this moving and giving us the streanth to keep going. I will say it one more time Thank You. ... or should we say спасибо

The Ides of November

2008-10-08T22:16:00.004-04:00

We have some news about our travel date... sort of. You will recall that we were delayed because the court had trouble obtaining our kids' birthmothers' birth certificate. Well, they now have it. That's the good news.

The less than good news is that it had one of the infamous "10-day holds" on it that seem to be so common in Russian legal affairs. We learned that the 10-day hold expired on... you guessed it... October 1st. This is the same day that the judge in Stavropol left for vacation... for the entire month of October. The judge did not receive the document before leaving.

So.... we are not yet on the court schedule. One better... we will not be placed onto the court schedule until the judge returns to work... in NOVEMBER. Our caseworker said that our in-country rep learned from the court clerk that we will most likely be scheduled for sometime between November 17 - 20. It looks like we aren't going anywhere until the Ides of November at the very soonest. Hopefully the Ides of November will be better for us than the Ides of March were for Julius Casesar! The way things are going, I'm starting to wonder. In any case, we are STILL awaiting an "official" date because all we have so far is someone's best guess.

The weather in Stavropol for our potential travel keeps getting colder and colder. This will be an issue because we have VERY limited baggage weight restrictions. Trying to take warm clothing for us and for the new kids and still be within the weight restriction is going to be a challenge.

Keep us in your prayers.

Trying to look on the Positive

2008-10-01T23:11:00.000-04:00

Well as you might guess we are all heart broken about September coming to an end and still no court date. I don't know when we will get it but I know that it is in God's timing and not mine. (Although if I have any say I ask "God can you hurry up?") While we continue to wait for the phone to ring, I am trying to look at some of the positives of going later.

One: Beth and Luke got to start the school year off with their classmates and understand what their teachers expect of them now before we go. They also got to go to the first night of AWANA and Youth Group for this year. (Although that was delayed a week because of no power at the church from Hurricane Ike.)

Two: Beth got to go on her 7th grade over night field trip to The Wilds. She had been really disappointed when she though she wasn't going to be able to go. (I am encouraging her to write a post about the trip.) Look for it to come soon.

Three: We have gotten A LOT of construction done around the house. This is also a full post that I haven't got up yet. I have all these great ideas that just don't get done. It's coming.

Four: The kids will both be able to complete their soccer seasons. We had told the coaches at the beginning of the season not to expect them all season but we were wrong and since I actually remembered my camera at the last set of games here is a peek at soccer:

Soccer Season:

This season has been an interesting one for both of the kids this year.

Beth moved up to the Middle School Rec Travel league. This means that rather than just playing different Gahana teams, here at our local fields, She is playing against teams from all around Columbus (and at fields all around Columbus.) Taking the top of rec teams to make a team and going from being the oldest on the team to the youngest has really upped the level of play and the speed at which shots are coming in at. She was very worried at the beginning of the season if she would be able to claim her favorite spot between the pipes but she has been her teams starting Keeper all season. One thing she has
really enjoyed this season is one of her friends from church is on the same team. We have done some car pooling with them and have had more time to talk. This has been very useful to me, in that their family has completed three international adoptions. I am trying to learn as much as I can about what worked and what didn't work for them. Their blog has more about their "Big Crazy Family".

After years of watching his sister play keeper, Luke decided to give it a try this year. We already had the jersey and gloves so why not and besides keeper is one of the few positions on the field that I now understand (at least a little.) The first couple games were rough as he was figuring out the position but he has really been improving the last couple of games. He has a very nice punt (He can usually make mid field on the fly.)and has a goal kick to make his sister jealous. He is still developing his attacks for stopping a shot but that has come a long way form the first game and it takes time.

Rockets

2008-09-30T13:33:00.011-04:00

During the summer I was spending a lot of time processing adoption paperwork (and I still have some more to do) but I tried hard to do some fun things with Beth and Luke as well.

One of which was Mark and Luke built a rocket kit that Grandma and Grandpa had given him last Christmas. We then got together with some friends from church who are actively into model rocket building. We had lunch together then an afternoon of launching. It was nice to spend the time with friends. We did learn that Bandit wants nothing to do with the smell or sound of rockets being launched.

*****Luke with his Rocket ************************* Ready for Launch*****

********** Watching the launch ************************** It flys********

Beth even got into it and launched a couple of rockets. A good time was had by all. In fact I think Santa might just have to have four new rockets in his sack this Christmas (one for each of the kids.) Interested in another launching get together next summer?

Not the Call We Hoped For

2008-09-20T22:42:00.003-04:00

I've been wondering how to write this post. I've been thinking about it for a couple days now. You see, we received a phone call from our case worker on Thursday, and it wasn't the call we wanted to hear.

We've been jumping at every ring of the telephone for 3 weeks or so, hoping it would be our case worker telling us of our court date in Stavropol. Our materials have been in for over a month and we were getting antsy.

She called... she said that the court had our paperwork and that our paperwork is all approved (so far so good...). She then said that the court had trouble locating a birth certificate for our kids' biological mother and that it took them a while to get it. As a result, our case was delayed (not so good).

We will not be able to have our court date in September. Also, the judge is taking vacation for the entire month of October. We should expect a court date in early NOVEMBER. At least it might be early November if they are able to put together the schedule before the judge's vacation. There is a chance that they won't create the November schedule until the judge returns from vacation. If so, we'd be going in mid to late November at the earliest. We might not get the kids home before the end of the year if things go slowly at that point. For those of you who keep track of such things, we will have several documents that expire in the first week of November. It looks like we'll have more time and expense to renew them.

Letters to Russia - finding the orphanage's address

2008-09-09T21:37:00.004-04:00

It's amazing what you can do with the internet. Really. I can remember when, as a college student, I heard of this new thing called the web that made the internet a lot easier and more interesting to use that just doing ARCHIE and VERONICA searches. I even got a copy of this new program called Mosaic so I could surf... on a 2400 baud modem... blazing fast (or not). That was back before Netscape, before internet explorer and way before broadband... I'm showing my age. Even so, I am still amazed at the things you can do online these days.

We wanted to be able to write and send cards to our kids in Russia. The translator told us that the address of the orphanage was on the adoption agreement... but he never showed us where or told us what it was. The agreement is in Russian. We're trying to learn some Russian, but it's a little tough. There just aren't enough similarities between slavic languagues like Russian and germanic languages like English to make it easy. Needless to say, reading the adoption agreement to find the orphanage address isn't something we could do anytime soon. And than in comes the internet to save the day.

I can read enough Russian to recognize a few words, so I found a part of the adoption agreement that I thought was a good candidate for the address. I went to an online translation site and was able to type (using the Cyrillic alphabet via a Russian keyboard emulator that is on the website) the part of the form I suspected.

It translated to something along the lines of Special Childrens Home for abandoned children and children of parents who do not support them. Obviously the translation was a little awkward, but it was enough. I had the the right part and it included the street name and building number. I was on my way to sending mail to детский дом 12 (children's Home 12) in Stavropol Russia.

Next, I needed to learn how to write an address for mail going to Russia. I found a couple of resources. The first was actually the Russian Postal Service and it was in English. The other was the US Postal Service's international addressing tips page.

I also learned that I needed the postal code (think zipcode). The Russian Postal Service has a page for finding these, but it's not all that user friendly... it's in Russian only. Still, I managed to find the codes for Stavropol. The "Main" post office in Stavropol is 355000. Finding the correct post office for the orphanage was tougher and involved some divine intervention. We were able to decipher from our internet translated adoption agreement that the orphanage was on Trunova Street (ул. Трунова, д.71). It turns out that one of the local post offices is also on Trunova Street. Digging out our map of Stavropol that we bought over there in July, we saw that it wasn't a very big street. Looks like we found the right post office! The Russian postal site even has photos of the post-office branches, so we've included the one for "our" post office above. It's Ставрополь 7 and there are more photos if you follow the link. The postal code is 355007.

So far we've sent post cards and a letter. The rate is 94 cents for a typical letter in case you are wondering.

Happy Birthday and First Day of School

2008-08-27T22:37:00.000-04:00

Luke celebrated his 9th Birthday by having to head off to the first day of school. He was none too happy about the timing, especially the getting up early again part. To add insult to injury, it rained all morning for the first day of school.

Fortunately, he has the teacher he was hoping for and will be starting in the gifted program this year. I think it will be a really great year for him.

That night he had the birthday honor of choosing the dinner menu, so we had ribs, cheesy potatoes, corn and lava cake with ice cream for dessert. (I know, not what is typically thought of as kid food, but that is what he wanted.)

Then afterwards there were presents to open, so the day wasn't completely non-birthday. Next week he will bring in a treat for his classmates and celebrate with them. His teacher thought that a birthday celebration would be a little much for the first day of school. I can't say I blame him.

Beth is starting 7th grade. It doesn't seem possible that she is in the middle grade of Middle School. Last year she was so scared about starting at the Middle School (getting lost, not being able to get her locker open, not knowing where her class was... all the normal worries with making the big step to Middle School.) Her biggest worry about this school year has been whether she'd be able to keep up with classes when she is in Russia. (YES, we plan to take Beth and Luke with us to Russia this time.) We sent a letter into the school before classes started to inform all of her teachers about what is going on. I am very thankful for all the encouragement from all of her teachers and the willingness and support they all are giving her. She came home so relieved and excited that she will be okay. Thank you GMSE Teachers!

What we Know and Don't know

2008-08-22T10:15:00.003-04:00

Many of you have asked if we have a court date yet and how things are going.

Here is what we know . . .
1. Our Court Dossier is in Stavropol, Russia...WooHoo!
2. Our Children are in Stavropol, Russia waiting on us.
3. We want to go to Stavropol, Russia...ASAP!

What we don't know . . .
1. How far along our documents are in the translation process.
2. If our Acceptance and Petition letters have made it to Mosscow.
...If they were approved in Mosscow.
...If they have made it back to the Ministry of Education in Stavropol.
3. If Yana and Gena have had their medical evaluation in preparation for court.
4. If the Russian social worker has finished his or her report.

And Most importantly . . .
5. When our Court Date will be.

We are still waiting and praying.

Georgia on my mind

2008-08-21T19:13:00.006-04:00

A lot of people have been asking about how this whole Russia-Georgia conflict will affect our adoption. The honest answer is that I don't know. There are a few things that I do know, but not many.

First, our kids are in the city of Stavropol, which is in the "state" of Stavropol located in the southwest part of Russia between the Black and Caspian Seas. You've probably seen far too many maps of that part of the world on the news over the past 3 weeks, but I've included one here anyway. If you look at the map, you'll see that Stavropol Kray (think "State") is close to Georgia, but does not border it directly. The city of Stavropol is almost 200 miles exactly from Tskhinvali, the capital of South Ossetia and location of much of the fighting. The kids are far enough away that it does not appear that they are in any direct danger. Praise God for that.

The part that scares me is not the fighting... it's the political posturing between Russia and the United States. It seems that everyday we see another headline where the US and Russia are moving further apart. We say stern things about Russia's actions in Georgia and they say stern things about us putting a missle defense base in Poland. NATO says there can't be business as usual until Russia pulls out of Georgia and Russia says it will no longer cooperate with NATO. It's pretty clear that we are on a path to a new cold-war. I hope it stays cold, but even cold is a big problem for us and our kids.

Our greatest fear right now is that Russia will decided to up the ante and suspend travel visas for Americans, or worse yet, they may suspend the foreign adoption programs. If that happens, we won't be able to go there for court and to bring the kids home. Right now, we have been told to expect a September court date. In fact, we could be given a date at literally anytime now. I pray that it comes soon and that we can get there and get the kids before the strained tensions between our governments get any worse. I know that God is in control and that through Him all things are possible. I hope his timing is quick however. Keep praying for us and for Russia to keep their borders open.

A Quick Break

2008-08-17T08:30:00.000-04:00

Saturday afternoon we drove up to Akron to Mark's parents' for a little family get-together. Mark's brother is in Japan (he's a Staff Seargent in the Marines), but his wife and boys came up for the cookout. It's been 3 years since we've seen them because they were stationed in California. Mark's sister Tonia and her kids came over as well.

We had a great time eating, eating some more, and then making S'mores (in case we were still hungry). The kids had loads of fun "roasting" (think "incinerating") the marshmallows. It was a great day.

No More Paperchasing ... Almost

2008-08-15T10:41:00.004-04:00

On Wednesday we obtained the final apostille on the final document (a medical report) for the court dossier. We had already faxed the whole thing for translation a few days ago (minus the missing medical report). Wednesday night we visited our friendly neighborhood FedEx hub where the nice folks sent off our entire 14.95 pound dossier to California to our caseworker... at a cost of around $170. Ouch. Our caseworker emailed today that it went out to Russia. WooHoo!!!! It should arrive in Stavropol in 5 - 7 days.

Now, all we have to do is put together our Moscow folder... a few more pages of documents and photos for registering in Moscow when we get there. Shouldn't be too hard. We could hear something about our court date anytime after the 22nd of August. Let's hope we hear soon! Keep praying...

Luke's 9th Birthday Party

2008-08-12T22:33:00.004-04:00

Luke's actual Birthday is the first day of school, so we decided to celibrate early. Yesterday, a group of the neighborhood kids joined Luke at the pool for a party. Enjoy some of the pictures of it.

Divine Intervention... yet again

2008-08-08T18:48:00.006-04:00

Alright God, I get it. You are in control. I know, I know... just quit worrying and have faith.

We've spent much of the past week in a disappointed mood about missing our chance to get to Russia before October for the court trip. We missed our deadline after working REALLY hard to make it. We relied on ourselves to make this happen a bit too much (alright, more than a bit). You allowed us to stumble in our vanity of thinking we could pull it off all by ourselves... but once again you didn't let us fall.

This afternoon we received an email from our case worker at our agency letting us know that the judge in Stavropol has decided to NOT take vacation in September. The vaction will be in October instead. It looks like we are going to get a September court date.

Court Dossier Anyone?

2008-08-06T00:31:00.006-04:00

Lisa was able to get the document described in our previous post re-done, certified, and apostilled today. We spent the evening (and into the morning) assembling the dossier. Here it is with the exception of 4 packets of physicals that we will get on Monday. Tomorrow I will fax a copy to our caseworker who will forward it to Russia to begin translation. I'm so glad that I don't work as a document translator... this looks to be no fun at all.

God only you could make this happen …

2008-08-05T20:01:00.001-04:00

Note from the blogger-in-chief: The following is a stream of consciousness post from Lisa as she engaged in yet another round of the Great Paper Chase…

Great news today! Andy brought over the redone papers that we needed. (Thank you again Andy! If anyone is looking for a realtor in the Columbus area, I’ll give you his number.) He even found out which notary we have used in the past and used her, so I know the notary is good.

OH NO!!! One of the pages was skipped in the signing and notary process. Andy takes them back and runs out to get the missed pages notarized.

I call Mark to tell him I’m going to run downtown to get them certified and apostilled as soon as Andy brings them by. Andy gets them back to me about 3:30. Okay this is going to be a rush but I can do this, or can I.

It’s after 3:40 by the time I give Beth and Luke instructions and get out the door. I’ve got to hurry because both offices close at 5:00.

I’M OUT OF GAS in the van!!!! I go to get gas. It’s 4:03 before I’m on the road again. I SO want these papers done but there is no way I’ll make the Franklin County Court House and the Secretary of States office before 5:00. I keep asking myself "Why am I even wasting the gas today?"

It has taken me close to an hour to park downtown before, so I’m not optimistic. For some reason I keep heading downtown but with a prayer “God you’re the only way these are going to get done today.” I make it downtown in great time and get off the highway at 4:18. At least I have a chance of getting the certifications today if I can find a parking spot. I head down by the courthouse, and turn right, right in front of the courthouse to start circling the blocks to look for a spot to park. As I’m turning the corner a car is backing out four spaces from the corner. (4 spaces, I’ve never parked within 4 blocks of the courthouse before.) I get parked and there is still an hour on the parking meter, Thank you God.

I grab the papers and head for the security line. WHAT? there is no line!!! Walk right up, the guard is waiting there as I drop my purse on the x-ray belt hand the papers through the slot and walk through the metal detector. I’m in. Now up two floors to the Clerk of Courts office, turn the corner and an elevator is standing open and empty. Thank you God.

I’ll be in the amusement park-like maze of line in the Clerk of Courts office before five, so I’ll get the certifications today. What? The maze is open? And 3 clerks are sitting there with open windows. Thank you God this just doesn’t happen. Its now 4:32 and I’m leaving the courthouse with my certifications. Thank you God you just performed a miracle.

Am I actually going to make this? Normally I walk between the two buildings, 5 blocks north, 3 blocks east, and a ½ block north but I’d never make it. God you gave me one parking spot can you do it again? I get in the car and head up to the Secretary of State’s office. All the parking spots on the road I am on are listed ‘no parking 4pm to 6pm’. Basically that clears open an extra lane for rush hour but where am I going to park??? I pass the office I need and the first road I come to is one way left and I’m in the right lane. Oh well one more block. The next road I turn right onto. There in front of me, the first spot is sitting open. Thank you God!!! I get parked (this time I did have to feed the meter.)

I head down the street and head into the building. The guard remembers me from last week and doesn’t even ask for two forms of ID, he just hands me a visitor’s pass and I’m in. I’m going to make it?!?! Inside the office I walk right up to the counter and hand her my papers. I get the papers back all apostilled and ready for international travel. I turn in my ID and start walking to the car. I look down at my watch as I get to the car, 4:53. I still had time and I was done. I call Mark to tell him that I was heading to make copies. Thank you God, only you could have pulled this off!

An Open Letter to Notaries Everywhere

2008-08-03T22:32:00.005-04:00

Let me begin by saying that, No, we did not make our end-of-July goal for the paperchase so that we'd have a chance at an August Court date... but we came DARNED CLOSE! We've been nagging, begging, pleading and making just plain annoyances of ourselves to everyone from whom we needed documents. At least it has felt that way to me. We probably weren't all that bad about it, but when you REALLY hate to ask others for things and hate to be an inconvenience to others (a big weakness of mine), paperchasing with a deadline isn't the most fun thing you can do.

Lisa, God bless her, has been running around all week like a maniac trying to run down documents, make sure they are notarized, getting county clerk of courts certifications that the notarizations are valid, and then getting apostiles. At $2 for certification of a notarization and then $5 for an apostile, we've spent hundreds more dollars this week. Wednesday she went to London to hand pick-up our Ohio Criminal Background checks from the BCIandI (faster than having them mailed) and also stoped by the Madison county courthouse to get the notaries certified. Then, on Thursday, we thought we had everything except the physicals. The physicals can go a little later than the other documents, so that wasn't the end of the world. Lisa ran downtown (where she ought to have her own parking space by now) to the Franklin County Courthouse and the office of the Secretary of State to get our last certifications and apostiles. We were planning to fax everything to our caseworker for pre-sending to Russia that night. We'd send the paper copies on Friday morning. We were going to make it. Court Dossier completed in 16 days! Yahoo!

At the Clerk of Courts office, Lisa learned that one of the notaries public (or is it notary publics... I can never remember) wasn't registered in Franklin County. Drats! Oh Well... not that big of a problem. We called the bank where the notary works and he indicated that he was registered in Fairfield County (the next county over). OK... we can handle that. So on Friday, Lisa drove to Lancaster (40 miles each way) to the Fairfield County Courthouse to get the certification for the notarization so that she could drive back to downtown Columbus to get the last apostile. We were still going to make it!... and then it blew up in our face.

It turns out that the notary WAS NOT registered in Fairfield County afterall... but he COULD HAVE BEEN. You see, he took his notary exam there (2 years ago). He was sent his notary packet from there that included his stamp... and that's where it all fell apart. The Clerk of Courts office explained that although the notary packet listed in AT LEAST FOUR PLACES that his notary was not valid until he returned the registration form, he never did so. He has been notarizing documents for two years, but his notary is technically not valid. KABOOM! August court date dreams blown away. We have to have the document re-issued and then notarized by a VALID notary public so it can be certified and apostiled. Hopefully we can do that on Monday and Tuesday, but it probably doesn't matter too much. It looks like we are relegated to an October court date despite our mad dash to do the court dossier in just 16 days. Oh how fun it is to know that we were just one invalid notary stamps away from making it.

Ahhh, the joys of the adoption process. Be prepared for some frustrations. We were pretty unhappy on Thursday and Friday. Now, it's just part of the process. Time to move forward and to remember that this will happen in God's time, not ours. Keep us (and our notary) in your prayers.

What do you mean we have to paperchase again!? This is some kind of sick joke isn't it? There's really a hidden camera in here right?

2008-07-21T19:32:00.006-04:00

Have you ever seen the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? If you haven't, it's basically a movie where a man keeps waking up and re-living the same day until he finally gets it right. I think this movie is a perfect metaphor for adopting from Russia. You see, in Russia you have to do TWO dossiers. That's right, two wonderful, frustrating, exhausting, can't believe they actually want this level of minutiae - dossiers. It's sort of like a buy one get one free sale (the signs for these in stores in Russia say "1 + 1 = 1")... except you don't get anything free with these. Come to think of it, YOU don't actually get anything in them. Hmmm... I guess it's not a buy one get one free sale after all.

Our original dossier had just about everything one could imagine... unless the one happens to be a Russian court official. It's rather amazing what they can imagine. A certified, notarized, verified, apostilled copy of the deed to your home only shows that you own a parcel of land... not a house. A recent post on Our Little Russian Peanut describes how fun this can be. Therefore, we have to include a letter from a Realtor (Thanks Andy!!!!) documenting that we actually have a house on our parcel of land that has so many square feet and so many rooms. We have to have a CPA write a letter verifying that our financial statement is correct. We need a letter from the benefits office at work verifying that the children will have medical insurance. We need a letter from the State Medical Board that says licensed physicians are allowed to make diagnoses. There are lots of thing like that. Ah, I love a good paperchase in the evening. It's so personally fulfilling :-/

Here's the fun part. If we can get it all done by the end of July (i.e. 2 weeks from when we got home from Russia), then there is a CHANCE that we MIGHT POSSIBLY, get a court date in August... maybe. At first I didn't think we could do it, but, as of tonight, we only have 5 documents left! We MIGHT actually make it... maybe. If we don't, we won't get a court date until October. This was a HUGE concern for me because the program that I run at Ohio State is up for re-accreditation and we were scheduled to have our on-campus site visit, you guessed it, this October. Being in Russia for 3 weeks was going to be an interesting juggling act.

Fortunately for us, the Lord provides once again. Just today I received a call asking me (telling me) that the accrediting body would move my site visit to the spring cycle so that I wouldn't have to do it at the same time as the adoption. Praise God! Oh, and just for a little icing on the cake the Lord is providing, out of the blue I was offered an opportunity to review a textbook and make suggestions on improvements and it comes with a $500 honorarium. $500 won't go far for the second trip... but it goes a lot farther than $0 does. God is good. Keep us (and several governmental agencies) in your prayers that we might get these documents quickly.

Hotel and Meals in Stavropol

2008-07-20T20:19:00.002-04:00

One of the things about which we were very curious was what the accommodations would be like in Stavropol. A lot of Russian adoption materials say that you should not expect Western standards in Russian hotels outside of Moscow. We've read tales of no heat, no hot water, no English, etc. We were also interested in how the local cuisine might appeal to non-Russian palates. We learned on the Internet and from our agency that there are two hotels in Stavropol, the Intourist and the Euro. We have seen some pictures online and we were able to find the Intourist on Google Earth... but not the Euro Hotel. We stayed at the Euro Hotel and were very pleased. It's a lovely hotel and a place that just about any American would find comfortable. Our stay was in July 2008, so I make no guarantee about future prices but I'll list what we paid.

The Euro Hotel is located about 1 block north from Lenin Square in Stavropol. If you've looked at Stavropol on Google Earth, it's easy to find Lenin Square (just look for the big statue of Lenin in front of a large building with a large paved courtyard). The Euro Hotel is quite modern and the rooms were nice. It looks to be pretty new and is clean and well maintained. They are adding additional floors, but the construction was not an inconvenience for us. It's not the Ritz Carleton, but it's perfectly comfortable. The front desk always had someone on duty who spoke English and they accepted my Visa credit card. They have an ATM machine in the lobby where you can get cash (rubles) using your credit card if you need to. Unlike American hotels, you pay for your room each day or you can pay for the whole stay up-front. The hotel also took care of registering our passports and travel visas. This cost 200 rubles each and it had to be paid in cash up front. The lobby has a business center with a computer with Internet access. It cost us 20 rubles (80 cents) for 30 minutes of use (before 5:00). There is also wireless Internet throughout the hotel. You pay by the amount of data you send/receive instead of by the day. We bought the 29MB for 100 rubles ($4) plan. They also have something like 125MB for 500 rubles. 29MB was fine for us for 4 days of blogging and a few emails. The business center also has a travel desk where you will buy your tickets for your domestic Russian flight back to Moscow. The travel desk would also accepted my Visa card for a 1% fee. The Euro Hotel includes a breakfast bar in your room cost. They had Kasha (think thin oatmeal or grits), eggs, sausages (think kielbasa), Blinny's (think crapes) with sour cream or jam, yogurt, bread pudding, hard boiled eggs, Cinnamon bread, tomatoes, cucumbers, candied cheese (think ho-ho sized chocolate covered cheesecake), and pasta. It seems that pasta is common in Russia. To drink they had coffee, hot tea, soda water, compote (think thin fruit juice), milk (think half and half... almost undrinkable to me and I LOVE milk!) and kefir (soured milk... not for the timid!). Eating a big breakfast is recommended because Russians don't usually eat lunch... and neither will you.

There is a lovely marble and decorative wrought-iron staircase and modern elevators. They have rooms with and without air conditioners. Our room cost 2400 rubles per day (~$100) and had two twin beds, a small refrigerator, a desk, television (seeing TV shows you recognize with Russian voice overs is a hoot!). The bathroom had a shower (not a tub), a western style toilet (not the porcelain hole in the floor you find in the Moscow airports), TOILET PAPER (unlike the Moscow airports) and towels (but no washcloths). They also had shampoo, soap, shower gel and a shower cap. They also had little bags where you... how to say an indelicate thing delicately... where you put your used bathroom tissue instead of flushing it down the toilet. There are no irons or hairdryers in the rooms. You can get a hairdryer from the housekeeping ladies on each floor (call the front desk). You borrow the hairdryer and return it to housekeeping as soon as you are finished with it. Oh yes, I almost forgot. The electricity. It's 220V 50Hz current and it uses a European plug. To use American electronics, you need a plug adaptor (we paid a couple dollars for one on Ebay). We saw a little kiosk in the shopping area selling them for 100 rubles ($4). If your electronics use dual voltage (almost all laptop power cords, video camera power cord, etc), then all you need is the plug adaptor. If the electronics are not dual voltage, you'll need a transformer. They are HEAVY and you only have a 20kg baggage limit... go buy a dual voltage curling iron... you'll be glad for it. Oh, I almost forgot. If you want to use the electricity in your room, you have to put your room's keycard into a slot on the wall to enable the plugs to work. It keeps you from wasting electricity when you aren't in the room. There's probably a good lesson in that idea.

You can purchase bottled water and groceries (and a soccer ball) at the 24 hour supermarket that is around the corner (out the front door, go left, around the first corner and you are there). The supermarket girls had quaint uniforms that reminded me of a 1950's supermarket in America. They also were constantly baking fresh bread that smelled great. Most of the bottled water is soda water (they like it fizzy in Russia). If you can't read Russian, you can shake the bottle gently and look for the bubbles to see if you have regular water or soda water. They also have Coke and Pepsi (diet is called "light"). We also bought some cookies and things to try to stuff more calories into the kids. You don't need to be able to speak Russian to shop there. They ring you up and the total is displayed. You just pay and go.

In addition to the supermarket, the hotel is located in a very swanky shopping district. It reminded me of Easton for those who know the Columbus area. There were almost exclusively western stores (Gucci, New Yorker, etc) and they all play American dance music in them and sell clothes with English on them. We had a hard time finding anything Russian. We were able to find some Matryoshka dolls (nesting dolls) in a shop on the first floor of one of the "malls" (not the Galleria, the other one). The dolls were MUCH MUCH MUCH less expensive than the ones in Sheremetyevo airport. There are also several good restaurants along the shopping area. Yuri at the front desk of the hotel can give you recommendations and some had English menus available (the hotel restaurant has an English menu available). Yuri at the front desk is AWESOME... he can help with anything you need. We enjoyed the shish-kabob restaurant he recommended quite a bit. The restaurants in this area cost us about 800 rubles (~$35) for dinner for including diet Cokes and the customary 10% tip. If you are adventurous enough to wander down several blocks, you can find much less expensive eating... but be prepared to play charades to try to order if you don't speak Russian. We found a Pizza place that also had ice cream. Ice cream is VERY popular in Russia.

Reading this post, you'd think Stavropol is very upscale. The area around the hotel certainly fits that description (except for the falling down building next door). If you walk a half-mile, it changes to much older shops. Go a little further than that and you find crumbling fences and poorly maintained cottage sized houses. Other areas have rows and rows of Soviet era concrete apartment buildings.
The hotel area is clearly THE upscale part of town and is not reflective of the rest of Stavropol.

Back in the States... but not home yet

2008-07-13T18:35:00.002-04:00

We made it back into the US Friday afternoon after an uneventful flight. At least the flight was uneventful... the airport in Moscow wasn't. Mark's cell phone was pick-pocketed in the airport. Next time, we'll know to not have a cell phone on the belt and to keep it in a pocket instead.

We're spending a few days at Lisa's parents in Alabama and we'll return home on Monday. Once we get back, we'll post several more posts about our trip to Russia. We learned a lot and have lots to share.

Overnight in Moscow

2008-07-10T16:20:00.003-04:00

We just arrived in Moscow and are now in an apartment. It's actually the "city" apartment of our driver. He and his wife will spend the night in their "country" apartment. Renting us the apartment is MUCH cheaper than us spending the night in one of the "American" hotels in Moscow. It turns out that Moscow has the most expensive hotel rooms in the world. It is kind of neat to be able to see an actual, in use, apartment in Moscow. It's not very big by American standards, but it's quaint and very much a home. The driver's wife even made us dinner and left it in the oven. Very kind of them.

We arrived here at 10:30pm local time at the new (larger) international airport that is used by American Airlines and it took us over an hour to get to the apartment. The new airport is much nicer than the airport we originally flew into (used by Delta). We flew here from the airport at "Mineral Water"... a 2 hour drive from Stavropol. Doing so let us take a later flight so we were able to spend part of the morning with the kids. It was EXTREMELY difficult to tell them goodbye. Gena cried... over the pretense of having to put on his school uniform because the camp was taking a group picture today. He later confided that he cried because he doesn't want Mama and Papa to go back to the US without him. He wanted to know how long it will take for us to finish the papers and come back. He decided that the answer was "too long". He is really ready. Yana became jealous today. When Lisa comforted Gena, it was hard for her. She's been in the mother role for him far too long. It's clear that it's going to be very difficult for her to learn to be a child again and let Lisa do the mothering. It's now 12:30am local time and the driver will pick us up at 8:00, so we'd better get to bed.

Papers Please

2008-07-09T13:56:00.003-04:00

In Russia, official papers are very important. The kids have no biological father because no father is listed in the official papers. I'm pretty sure they were not another case of immaculate conception, but officially, they have no biological father. That's the way it is... end of discussion. When you are doing business in Russia, particularly when it involves offical papers, you DO NOT mix in idle chit-chat or make pleasantries. Business is business and social graces are not. You do not mix the two. If you try, they just look at like you should be focusing on the paper you silly American :-)

Like yesterday, today was split between the kids and business. We spent 90 minutes with the kids in the morning, and then had to leave to go to the notary to sign the documents for “officially” accepting the referral. These were a set of three documents. One where we formalized our intention for assuming parental care for Gena, one for Yana, and one that goes to the ministry of education. We had a new translator for this part and he indicated that the fee the notary charges is 1000 pyb. (rubles) [about $40]. Once we had the papers completed, we were informed that the fee had changed and it was now 500 pyb. per document. Typical Russia… things change almost weekly. In fact, when we asked the translator what to expect for out next trip for the court date, he replied that he would not give us that information now because it will be different next week, let alone next month or the month after. We’ll get the most up to date info right before we come.

Part of the documents involved listing the names we intend to adopt the children under. We have discussed this at length for months and we were pretty set on a boy’s name. We’ve really been struggling with a girl’s name however. We poured over more name lists yesterday and settled on two finalists. I really liked one more than the other and I think it fits Yana’s personality. When we asked the children if they would like to have new American names for when they come to America, they both said “da”. We gave them each two choices. We had a lot of fun taking American names and trying to write them out phonetically using the Cyrillic alphabet. Apparently we didn’t do too badly because Yana could read them and said them correctly. She chose the name I liked more. She also attempted to choose the name she liked best for Gena. He, as usual, deferred to his older sister’s judgement. We’ll post the names after we tell them with Beth and Luke when we get back home (they can already guess Gena’s new name). It was a little different for the kids to no longer have patronymic names where they middle name is an adaptation of their father’s first name. They have new first names and we are keeping Yana and Gennadiy as their middle names. When they are older, they will be able to decide which name they prefer to use.

In the afternoon, we went back to see the kids and Gena had a note for his “Mama”. It seems that he cried after we left (one of the other boys was calling him a crybaby). The note was clearly written with the help of one of the caregivers to help console him, but it ended with “I love you Mather and father” in English in a child’s handwriting. Gena is really starting to bond. Both kids are VERY excited about joining our family and they want to go with us now. We had to be careful when discussing today’s official papers with them so as not to give the impression that the process is finished. They wanted to know when were coming back to get them and we told them that the choice is not up to us. We told them October (there are no court hearings this September we have learned), but there is a chance that we might be able to get an August date if we can get the rest of the court dossier paperwork together by the end of the month… we’re now on a mission. We gave the kids a new soccer ball today and spent a lot more time playing soccer, checkers and chess. They play what we now call Yana-Gena checkers which is where you make up new ways to move your piece to suit your particular need at the moment. Need to jump 4 spaces diagonally over a couple rows… no problem.

Tomorrow morning will be our last meeting with the kids. We have to fly out tomorrow for Moscow because all of our in country coordinators say there is no chance we will make our Moscow – US flight at 12:55 if we take our originally intended Stavropol – Moscow flight that arrives at 10:00. The drive between airports is too questionable with bad traffic to risk it. This disappointed greatly because we had specifically been instructed by our travel agent to confirm with our adoption agency that this would work. We had two different flights we could have taken from Moscow. Our agency said that we would be OK taking the earlier flight. Turns out that they were mistaken. Make sure you have at least 4 – 6 hours between flights or you are in trouble. Take heed! We’ll travel to Moscow on Thursday, spend the night there, and fly home on Friday. Our regional coordinator has been very gracious and found a way for us to spend some time with the kids on Thursday by flying out of a different airport (2 hours away). He didn’t have to do that, but we are very thankful that he did. I can’t say enough good things about the job he has done for us in Stavropol.

We do not expect to be able to get an internet connection where we will be staying in Moscow tomorrow night, so we probably won't be able to post anymore to the blog until we return to the states. We love you and thank you for all your prayers. See everyone soon.

Stavropol Day 3

2008-07-08T14:47:00.003-04:00

Today involved meeting with the orphanage director, assitant director, and doctor to learn about the kids. They also let us see the areas where Yana lives (bedroom, classroom, play room) but we couldn't see Gena's area because it's being renovated while the kids are at camp.

After that, we traveled to the camp to spend some more time with Yana and Gena. It was only an hour because they had to go for lunch and nap time. We came back to camp at 4:15 and spent around two more hours with them. Gena was much more enthusiastic about joining the family and coming to America. Both kids are worried about learning English. We asked about their favorite foods and it turns out that they like to eat macaroni and cheese (or at least the Russian version of it). They also like to drink Coca-Cola, so we got them each a can as a special treat. We also asked them if they wanted to join our family... and they both said "Da" with big smiles. We were also able to get some measurements for clothing for when we return to Russia for the court date.

Meeting the Kids

2008-07-07T20:00:00.000-04:00

Today we met our children. They are not at the orphanage this month. Instead they are at “camp”. Before we could meet them, we had a few hoops to jump through. All that travel to have to wait… welcome to Russia. We first had to get the permission of the Ministry of Education. The Minister has a meeting every Monday morning, so we had to wait until that was finished. Then, we traveled to the orphanage to give them the ministry’s permission document and to get the orphanage director’s permission document. We had to take one of the caregivers from the orphanage with us to the camp to supervise our meeting. When we arrived at the camp, the (armed) guard at the gate had to take our documents to the camp director before we were allowed to enter. When it started raining, he had pity on us and let us wait in a building for the camp director. The kids were brought to that building to meet us.

When they first met us, they were a little shy… but Yana took control of the situation. She ordered her brother to take “Mama” by the hand while she took “Papa” and led us to a small gazebo with a picnic table where we spent much of the day. We looked at pictures of America and played with toy motorcycles and floam (no one here had ever seen floam before). We also played with a beachball that looked like a globe (played volleyball and used it like a map to show our route of travel), played with bubbles (big hit!), and Yana had a great time taking pictures and showing the "crowd" where we were from. She very quickly figured out our camera and our video camera and seems fascinated with electronics. We also played a game of “futbol” (soccer) where Mama and Papa played goalkeepers. Watch out Beth... they are both strikers.

Our impression is a good one. The kids really needed a bath and several good meals, but they seemed happy and reasonably well adjusted. Yana was eager to start bonding and Gena did not resist the idea. The hardest part was the group of boys (and a few girls from a distance) who followed us EVERYWHERE and used every English word that they knew to try to impress us. It was clear that they wanted a chance to have a family and come to America. They were trying so hard to be “worthy” so that maybe we’d pick them. One boy in particular really made an impression. He even tried to give us a 5 ruble coin (about 20 cents) as a souvenir of Russia and so that we’d remember him. Another girl stayed on the fringes, but kept looking like she was going to cry. This experience is both wonderful and terrible at the same time.

Stavropol At Last!

2008-07-06T23:50:00.000-04:00

We made it! FINALLY! The 9 hour layover really took its toll after an 11 hour flight. It seemed to take forever to finally be able to get on the last flight from Vnukovo airport (over an hour away from Sheremetevo 2… if you are making this trip in the future, you had better plan at least 4 hours between if not the 6 they recommend). We are absolutely exhausted. We’ve now been awake for 32 hours now and we can really feel it. We made the trip with 2 other families from our agency (1 is here for trip 2 [court] and the other is for trip 3 [went home instead of doing the 10 day wait in Russia]). Our regional coordinator met us at the Airport and drove us to the Euro Hotel. It seems very nice… but more on that later. We have VERY limited internet access, so we probably won’t be doing much email. If you want to get us a word, leave a comment in the blog. Good Night.

A Brief Stop at Red Square

2008-07-06T23:46:00.001-04:00

On the way to the second airport, our driver stopped off at Red Square to let us look around a little (we had a 9 hour layover… there was plenty of time). I find it really hard to believe that the world has changed so much in my lifetime. In high school, my idea of red square was time magazine photos of military parades complete with missiles and tanks. I never imagined that I be standing there 20 years later. Now, it’s full of tourists and cameras. St. Basil’s Cathedral is every bit as impressive as you always hear. We also saw Lenin’s tomb, but we didn’t have time to tour either of these… maybe on trip #2. My impression is that in Moscow, the free market economy has taken root more than I had guessed. There is also A LOT of new building. Construction cranes are everywhere. There is a mix of Soviet era ugly concrete apartment buildings along with very elaborate new apartment buildings. Much of Moscow you could easily confuse with a U.S. City (signs printed in Cyrillic aside).

Russia Trip 1 Begins

2008-07-06T23:43:00.000-04:00

We’re now officially traveling for trip 1 of our Russia adoption. We left Lisa’s parents in Alabama at 9:30am Central time to drive to Atlanta for our flight. It’s going to be a very long day. Our flight to Moscow was 11 hours and took us north over Tennessee, West Virginia, up across Maine, Newfoundland, and out over the North Atlantic. We stayed just south of Greenland and Iceland and the first land we saw was Norway. I never realized how beautiful the mountains in Norway are. We landed in light rain in Moscow’s Sheremetevo 2 airport at a little after 10:00 am local time. The problem is that it was 2:00am to us (Moscow is 8 hours ahead of Ohio). We tried, but were unable to sleep on the flight, so we’re going to be exhausted by the end of this day.

It's Time To Go...

2008-07-04T19:49:00.004-04:00

It's time to go.
Can you believe it?
It's time to go.
Can it be true?
It's time to go.
Are we ready?
It's time to go.
It's all coming true.

We are on our way... almost. We drove to Alabama yesterday to spend the Holiday with Lisa's parents. They will also watch Beth and Luke while we are in Russia. We fly out tomorrow from Atlanta. Our flight to Moscow is direct and will take 11 hours. Then we have a 9 hour layover in Moscow before our flight to Stavropol. During the layover, we will be changing airports. Moscow has 5 airports and the domestic and international flights are at different ones. Fortunately, we have an agent in Moscow who will meet us at the first airport and take us to the second. Our flight from Moscow to Stavropol will be around 2 hours. Adding up our drive to the airport, our check-in, flight, layover, and flight, we'll be traveling around 27 hours... not including the drive from the airport to the hotel in Stavropol. I think it's going to be a long trip.

Beth and Luke are struggling a little today. Luke has been a little distant and Beth has been on edge. Luke finally told us that he's afraid we're going to Russia to get a new boy to replace him. His private insecurity tore at my soul. We spent a long time today explaining that we're not adopting because we think he needs to be replaced... just the opposite. We're adopting because we have a family that we want to share. I can't wait to give Luke as a brother to a child who needs a family. Beth is feeling frightened that something will happen to us while we are away. She doesn't know what she'll do without us. You see, a small plane crashed in Stavropol recently and she's afraid about our Russian flight. We had to explain that the crash was a small private plane, not a commercial one.

It's already been a long trip... and I haven't even discussed losing 2 hours in traffic in Cincinnati or how Lisa put my wallet through the washing machine yesterday morning before we left.

... more to come (assuming I can get an internet connection in Stavropol).

The "Gateway to the West" becomes the "Gateway to the East"

2008-06-17T20:56:00.003-04:00

It seems like just yesterday I was fretting about missing our window of opportunity to get to Russia quickly... oh wait, it WAS yesterday. It turns out that we didn't miss it at all. How frustrating it can be to expect things to work out on our time schedule when it's God's schedule that counts. God showed us YET AGAIN that He has things well in hand and that we're going to do it His way and in His time. Today we received our travel invitation!

The fun part is that it came AFTER I had left home to go to St. Louis for the NATA Convention. I go every year (I pretty much have to... I'm on committees that meet at the convention and I'm usually giving an invited talk or two at the conference). I arrived in St. Louis just in time for my first committee meeting. Just as it ended, Lisa called to tell me the good news. We were given our travel instructions and we had to act pretty quickly to capitalize on them. Our agency's case worker pushed hard for us to be traveling in 10 days. We opted for one week later so that we'd be able to make more sound arrangements for our biological kids (and for Bandit the dog).

We had to arrange for flights to Moscow (over $1500 each... ouch... and that doesn't include the ~$500 each for the in-country flight from Moscow to Stavropol). We also learned that the Moscow-Stavropol flight has a per person baggage limit of 20 kilograms (about 40 pounds) INCLUDING our carry-ons. We'll have to pack light. We also had to apply for our Russian tourist Visas. I wound up having to find a Walgreen's in St. Louis to get a passport style photo taken to attach to the Visa application (SUGGESTTION TO FUTURE ADOPTIVE FAMILIES: keep an extra copy of your passport photo to use with your visa application). I FedEx'd my Visa application from St. Louis. It's sometimes a little crazy how these things come together.

Off they go!

2008-06-16T21:28:00.004-04:00

We had a family milestone today. Today, BOTH of our kids left for church camp. Beth has gone several times before, but today was Luke's summercamp maiden voyage. I know you'll find it hard to belive, but it's AMAZING how fast a kid can wake-up, get out of bed and be dressed. I think it took exactly 0.2 nanoseconds this morning. This can't be the same kid who we have to beg to get dressed for school instead of playing legos in his room, can it?

The bus left the church at around 8:15. At 8:16, my wife was missing the kids. It was strange having a quiet evening and dinner together without them. Almost seems familiar but a somewhat distant memory. Maybe we used to do this sort of thing before we had kids. Was there a time before kids? Anyway, pray for Lisa... she's going to have a long week.

Q: So you have a referral... now what?

2008-06-16T21:05:00.001-04:00

A: Wait some more!

What, did you think things would go quickly? Silly you.

We received our unofficial referral two weeks ago today. It's a mini-anniversary! We were asked to update a few papers since our children were in a different region of Russia than we had originally been assigned to. We had a few forms to complete, have notarized and apostilled. We also had some for our homestudy socialworker to complete an notarize along with a slight modification to the homestudy report. The adoption agency caseworker said it might be possible for us to make our first trip in as little as THREE WEEKS! THREE WEEKS... WOW... We were starting a sprint!

We had our paperwork finished in less than a week (it helps to live in the State Capital where you can just drive downtown and get your apostilles while you wait). The social worker also had hers done in a week... but it took the US Postal service several days to actually deliver it to us... maybe one day too many. We were DESPERATELY trying to have everything in by Thursday of last week so that it could be processed before one of the caseworkers was going on vacation. We received the last piece of paper on Wednesday and immediately FedEx'd it to the caseworker (note: I never thought we'd have our own FedEx account, but it was a good idea to get it).

The last document was delivered to our caseworker on Thursday... but I fear we missed our window for going quickly. We REALLY hoped that we would get our next packet of information emailed to us on Friday... maybe even get our travel dates. Instead, we haven't heard anything since Thursday when we received an email telling us that our paperwork had been received and our dossier was being FedEx'd. I know that it's only Monday and it's been just a few days, but it seems like an eternity when you hoped to be going forward quickly. Another gentle reminder that adoptive parents don't always think rationally... and that your adoption is a life and death matter to you, but it's really just another case that is part of someone's job for your caseworkers. It's always good to try to remember that.

A Long Overdue Post

2008-06-03T18:46:00.004-04:00

It seems like the last few months have been overwhelming. I've been absolutely swamped at work with an accreditation self-study for my program. We've been overwhelmed at home with homework, learning AWANA verses, soccer, and watching a 6 month old 4 days per week. I have a TON of posts I've wanted to make, but haven't been able to find the time. We've been overwhelmed in the adoption too. Getting all of the paperwork together for the dossier and homestudy update didn't seem that daunting when we began, but it all took a lot longer that it was supposed to. That was partly our fault and partly the fault of others. We expected to have our dossier out in late March... then it was by Tax Day (April 15). We had to wait on reports and a few documents and it was May 13, 2008 before the dossier was submitted to our agency.

After submitting it, I had to work diligently on my program's accreditation self-study... almost like doing another adoption dossier... but longer. Yuk! Lots of 12 - 16 hour days and going in early and coming home late. 1083 pages later, it was done and submitted on May 29th. At the same time, I had to get the admissions cycle completed for next year's Athletic Training class... 30 interviews in 3 days. Beth had soccer playoffs (they won the championship, but more on that in another post soon to come). Both kids had end of the year homework and projects. Do you get the idea that it's been a little crazy around here lately?

We somehow made it through May alive and almost sane. Then, just as we reached the point where we could slow down a little, the Lord showed us that he understands our frantic lives. Instead of adding a new task that we weren't ready to take on, he waited until our heads were back above water. Yesterday, June 2, 2008 we received the email that we've been longing to get for a year and a half. Out of the blue (at least it seemed out of the blue), we received an email from our caseworker at Adoption Ark titled "Kids Info". We had the first stage of a referral!

The email had 3 photos of an orphaned sister and brother in Stavropol, Russia. Our kids have FACES... and eyes that burn their way into your soul. It had NAMES. Our kids have names now! Their names are Yana and Genadiy. They are no longer "our adoptive kids" or "our Russia kids"... they are Yana and Gena (nickname for Genadiy). The email had birthdates! No more wondering how old they would be and how they would compare to our biological kids. Our kids are 10 and 8 years old and fit right in with the 12 and 8 year old kids already at home. We can't post their photos yet... that comes after it's all official.

Somehow, the whole thing changes when you get that email. Before the email, adoption was sort of an abstract thing. It was hopes and dreams. It was a paperchase. It was frustration and barriers. It was tears. It was long talks into the wee hours of the morning. It was waiting. It was people who couldn't understand why it was so important or why another week makes any difference. It was constant prayer. It was wondering if it would ever happen. It wasn't really real. In hindsight, it was just another project, albeit one that we had a lot of time and emotion invested in. Our El Salvador experience hardened us and made us a little pessimistic. We really didn't expect to hear anything for months. Then the email came... 3 weeks after sending in the dossier. Now adoption is none of the things it had become. Now, adoption is Yana and Genadiy. They are real and they are ready for a family... our family.

The kids are in a Stavropol, a different region of Russia than Ivanovo where we were first working toward. Our agency divides the country up with different caseworkers for different regions. When our materials went in, all the caseworkers looked to see if there were matches for the paper-ready children in their region. We matched up in Stavropol, so we will be changing case workers. Our new caseworker has let us know that we have to already update 7 documents because the new region has slightly different requirements. She wants the documents sent-in within a week... finally someone who wants to go quickly! She says that we may be traveling to Russia in as little as 3 weeks. WOW... now we're really going fast! Lots to do! It will be hard to go meet our kids and then have to come back home without them... but's that's how it's done in Russia.

Keep us in your prayers. Here we go.....

AWANA Awards Night

2008-05-08T18:47:00.001-04:00

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008 was our church's AWANA Awards Night. We've are the Directors of Linworth Baptist Church's Sparks (K-2nd grade)club and we've been leaders in AWANA Sparks clubs for 15 years in 4 different churches. You might guess that we've seen a lot of Awards Nights! This one was very special to us however. You see, this year OUR children received some important awards. Learning scripture verses for AWANA has been a weekly event for our children for a combined 15 years. As a parent, it really means a lot when you see your kids using God's word as a lamp unto their feet and a light unto their path.

Luke, our 2nd grader, finished his final year in AWANA Sparks. He has completed all 3 sparks handbooks and therefore earned his Sparky Award. He also was one of two Sparks Clubbers to have finished all 3 handbook reviews and all 3 workbooks. This makes him a Super Sparky! He also spent 3 years in Cubbies and finished 3 handbooks there as well. He's now finished a total of SIX handbooks in AWANA Clubs!

Beth, our 6th grader, finished her final year in the AWANA Truth and Training Club (3rd - 6th grade). She has completed all 4 TandT handbooks and therefore earned her Timothy Award. She is a former winner of the Sparky Award and also finished two Cubbies Handbooks, so she has now finished NINE handbooks in AWANA.

A Newbie's first attempt at blog video - Beth's 6th grade Band Concert

2008-03-31T19:31:00.008-04:00

One of the things we hope to be able to do is post video from our Russia trips and from our adoption experience. To this end, we have a new video camera (really cool... Sony DCR SR300, has a 40GB hard drive... no tapes!) and an eager Dad ("geek in the making") all ready to go. The problem is that I'm a little new at this... not at shooting video mind you, just at posting it. Do I put up the video in it's native format (16:9, high bitrate) or do I re-encode it to a lower bitrate to make the file smaller? I've re-encoded this one so the file is just over 2MB instead of the 100 MB it was originally. It hurts the video quality... a lot. I'll eventually settle on a happy medium. I STRONGLY suspect that I'm making this way too hard, but here it goes.

For my first venture, the subject matter is Beth's 6th grade winter band concert. Our school district starts band in 6th grade, so this isn't exactly the New York Philharmonic quite yet, but it really isn't bad for a bunch of kids who have only been playing for around 4 months. They had an "informance" (as opposed to a performance) in the fall where they played "Hot Cross Buns". As you might have guessed, that riveting "informance" wasn't quite ready for prime time blog posting (and I didn't have the camera yet anyway). This video is of Beth's first "real" concert and this is the most complex piece they played. Beth loves playing and is making strides quickly. She's already MUCH better than when this concert took place a month ago. In fact, she and I are starting to play together (she on clarinet, me on guitar... that's quite a combo!)

The Winner and still Champion....

2008-03-24T21:28:00.006-04:00

We are actively "paperchasing" for our Russia adoption right now. If you are unfamiliar with that term, think "scavenger hunt"... except that the objects of desire in this hunt are documents. In some cases, they are documents that allow you to get other documents which allow you to get still other documents... you get the idea. When you finally "win" the paperchase, you have something called a dossier that gets sent to the foreign country. The dossier usually consists of a homestudy (your state reporting that you are a worthy adoptive family) plus a number of other documents such as marriage certificates, child request forms, passport affidavits, photos of your home and family, powers of attorney, etc...

Fortunately for us, we aren't completely starting from scratch and we know A LOT more about what we need and where to get it. We have a complete and current dossier... but it's in El Salvador. We can't really get it back to use it again and a lot of the papers specifically list El Salvador anyway. On top of that, Russia's dossier requirements are different from El Salvador's... most countries have their own rules. What we CAN do however is update our paperwork to create our Russia dossier. This starts with updating our home study. Because a lot of our documents needed for our homestudy are less than a year old, we can still use them. For the homestudy, we've had to order new BCI&I reports (criminal background checks), marriage certificates, driving record affidavits, and we're trying to schedule to have our physical exams updated. Once they are in, we will submit gobs of paper to our homestudy agency / social worker who will come out to our home for a verification visit and interviews. When all of that is done, we'll have an updated homestudy.

With an updated homestudy in hand, we'll be nearly ready to submit our dossier to Russia (through our adoption agency). We'll still need to get the documents notarized and apostilled (apostilled = verified by the Secretary of State of our state according the requirements of the Hague Convention). We have this silly notion that we might have the homestudy documents done in 2 - 3 weeks unless our physician makes us do another physical (they are 6 weeks out in scheduling these... but the receptionist suggested that he might be willing to sign the new forms since our last physical is less than a year old). When that is done, we'll be at the mercy of our homestudy agency for when they can schedule the visit and finish the report. We'll be ready to submit our dossier within two or three days of getting our new homestudy. We really hope to have the dossier all done and ready to submit May 1st, but we're probably delusional.

That brings us to the United States Citizenship and Immigration Service (USCIS). You see, USCIS has this funny idea that we can't bring foreign citizens into this country without the US Government's approval. Something about Homeland Security and Illegal Aliens seems to be a big deal these days. As a result, you have to get Visas for your internationally adopted children before bringing them into the country or the nice folks in the passport line at the airport will have a fit. The way that you arrange for Visas is by first asking permission of USCIS. To ask permission, it costs $670 + $80 per person who needs to be fingerprinted (adults in your house). You have to submit a form (I-600a) with a copy of your homestudy. Once they receive it, they schedule you to be fingerprinted. After that, you will (eventually) receive a form (I-171H) that informs you that your pre-approval for obtaining international orphan visas has been sent to the United States Consulate or Embassy in your adoptive country and will be waiting for you when you get there. It is good for a year and then you have to update it.

We've heard a lot of horror stories about the USCIS taking 12 weeks to process your application before you get your fingerprint appointment and then taking several more weeks before you get your I-171H. This form is often the final barrier to being able to submit your dossier.

Being a Republican leaning person who thinks less government is better and that government bureaucracies are a plague on mankind, I fully expected these horror stories to come true. Much to my surprise, my government actually did a more than adequate job. In fact, when we sent our application for El Salvador, we received our appointment almost immediately... and to top that, they actually contacted us to see if we could come in on an EARLIER date for our fingerprinting. We barely had to stand in line and finished the process in less than a half hour! Because we are changing countries, we need them to send our pre-approval to the embassy in Moscow. Thinking that our rapid processing the first time must have been a fluke, we were careful to send in our request to change countries (form I-824) in plenty of time to get it processed before we were ready to send the dossier off to our agency. We sent in our I-824 on 3/17/2008. I nearly fell of my chair when we received our updated I-171H with a postmark of 3/21/2008. They didn't even charge us to update it. As of this moment, I solemnly vow to never think poorly of government bureacracies again (or at least until I have to pay taxes or renew a driver's license that is). USCIS has once again proved that they are still the adoption paperwork processing champions. Now if all the other folks who have paperwork that we need would just follow suite...

If you need forms for USCIS, you can find them online at http://www.uscis.gov/

Happy Easter!

2008-03-23T22:07:00.003-04:00

Happy Easter! The kids looked very nice in their easter outfits, so we had to post a photo (for grandma mostly). Beth looks less and less like a little girl anymore and Luke is becoming quite the young gentleman. I wonder what our unnamed children in Russia did today.